


I Will Not Break

by cr8zymommy



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Character Death, Drugs, Gen, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-07
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-23 23:09:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 67,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1582805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cr8zymommy/pseuds/cr8zymommy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when the whole team is kidnapped and forced to play an Unsub's sick game? What will they do when once again their youngest is put into a position of pain, but this time at their own hands? Will they save themselves before it's too late? Reidcentric Whump Characters a lil OOC, sorry. Guess that makes it AUish</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Everything had been carefully thought out. Every detail carefully put into place and each stepped planned out with a supreme amount of precision and intelligence. This was the moment he had been waiting for. The man laughed to himself as he looked at the camera streaming a live feed to the basement of his house. There, he could see the fruit of his labors. See the result of years’ worth of planning. Everything had come off without a hitch. Everything was _perfect_.

He couldn’t contain his glee as he watched the six figures that were chained to the wall slowly start to stir. Oh, this was going to be great! Finally, _finally_ , he would have his revenge. The one who had ruined his life would pay for his actions. He would suffer, as the man had suffered so long ago. Now, he would know what he had done. He would know the pain he inflicted as the man inflicted that same pain on him.

Another chuckle slipped out when he saw one of the people lift their head.

_Let the games begin_

CMCM

Consciousness came slowly for the six people lining the walls of their prison. One by one they woke, groans echoing off the walls, little sounds from their shifting as each one tried to adjust their bodies. Aaron Hotchner was the first to fully wake and become alert. He was the first to jerk his hands and realize that they were shackled above him on the wall. There was an ache in his shoulders that told him he’d been dangling unconscious for a while, his arms supporting his full weight. With a groan, he straightened his feet under him, easing the pressure on his shoulders. Pain was splitting through his head. Looking around the room, he tried to fight the coil of dread as he saw who else was with him.

When a moan came from his right, Aaron turned to look at the man there who was slowly blinking his eyes against the light in the room. “Dave…” ‘Are you ok?’ was on the tip of Aaron’s tongue. He knew the question was stupid and useless. No, he wasn’t ok. None of them were ok.

David Rossi looked at Aaron, seeing how he was held against the wall, seeing the shackles on his wrists. He gave his own hands a shake as he realized that he too was restrained. “Son of a bitch.” The curse slipped from the senior profiler’s mouth.  “What the hell happened?”

“That’s what I want to know.” Derek’s deep voice drew their eyes to the other side of the room where the darker agent was glaring up at his hands.

The room they were in appeared to be a half circle on this end, branching out to an almost square shape on the other side. In that half circle were the six profilers. Aaron was at one edge, followed by Dave. Next to him was Emily, who was groaning and trying to lift her head. On her other side was Spencer, still out cold, his head dangling limply. Penelope was next, already awake and with her feet steady under her, eyes wide and breath hitching as she looked at them all with panic. Last was Derek, angry and furious looking, his feet shifting to better his stance as if he was preparing for a fight. Each one of them had their hands shackled to the wall above them.

Aaron licked his dry lips to try and bring some moisture there. He needed to stay calm. He was the leader; it was his job to stay calm. “I had just arrived home and was going to unlock my door when I heard something move. I didn’t even get the chance to draw my weapon before I was struck in the head. It’s the last thing I remember.” He told them all stiffly. It was difficult for him to admit to being taken.

A growl from Derek drew all eyes to him. “I was walking Clooney toward the park for our evening run when some bastard came out with a gun and told me not to move. His buddy must have been behind me. I got smashed in the head, too.”

“I think it’s safe to say we were all knocked out.” Dave said dryly. His eyes were slightly pinched from pain but otherwise he was maintaining that calm he was famous for. “I was leaving a restaurant and was just unlocking my car when I got hit.”

Emily cleared her throat in an effort to find her voice. Her legendary compartmentalizing skills were a little faulty from her fear and disorientation, but she was rapidly coming to herself. “A van pulled up next to me while I was walking and a guy jumped out with a gun. I got mine out, but he told me to rethink it. Said he had Garcia. When he opened the back of the van, another guy was there, holding a gun to her head. I put down mine like I was told and that was when I got hit.”

“They got me at Kevin’s.” Penelope whispered. Her body was trembling and there were tears in her bright eyes. “Someone was waiting for us there. He knocked Kevin out and, and, I tried to run but, God, he chased me down. I remember being tackled and then nothing. Oh God, why are they doing this to us?”

Derek turned toward her, unable to reach out and touch as he usually would, aching to do something to calm his friend and protect her. The rest of them were at least trained to handle these kinds of situations. Penelope was not. She was at home with her computers, safe at the Bureau. Something like this was going to devastate her. “Come on, baby girl. I need you to calm down and breathe for me, ok? Panic isn’t going to help right now. You need to just breathe for me and get things under control. We’ll figure out a way out of here.” He prayed it was true. In that moment, he swore to himself to do what he could to protect his bubbly friend.

She took a deep breath but nodded at him, obviously trying to calm herself down. Her eyes shifted around the room, looking at each one of her babies. It was when she saw Spencer that she forgot her earlier panic and focused on an entirely new panic. Spencer was the only one who hadn’t moved yet. He was the only one that still hung limply from his chains. Something about the way he looked made him seem so out of place. While the others were all dressed in average clothes, with Derek dressed in running clothes, Spencer was dressed as if he was ready for bed in a t-shirt and plaid pants.

“Reid?” She called out to him. There was fear in her voice from seeing him so still. “Reid, come on, wake up!” Frightened, she turned to look at the others. “Why isn’t he awake yet?”

Aaron tried to keep his own fear from showing when he answered her. “Give him time, Garcia. His chest is still moving, I can see it from here, so we know he’s alive. He might just take a little longer to wake than we did.” Underneath his cool exterior, he too was praying for Spencer to wake up. There was something about the absolute stillness the young doctor was showing that was slightly terrifying. All eyes were on him now.

As if in answer to their fear, Spencer’s head gave a little twitch. Instead of the groans of pain that the others had given, Spencer gasped and almost instantly shoved his bare feet flat on the ground. His head snapped up and his body jerked back against the wall, trying to assume a defensive posture. Wide eyes looked unseeing at the room in front of him. Then, slowly, he seemed to realize who and what he was seeing. Realization slowly dawned on his face. “Guys?”

“Yeah, Reid.” Emily told him. “It’s us. All of us. Nice of you to wake up and join the party.”

His posture relaxed only minimally. They all saw the wince when he shifted. It was Penelope who spoke next. “You ok, sugar plum? How’d they get you here?”

Spencer tipped his head to look at her in confusion before he seemed to connect her words. He was functioning slowly enough that they all couldn’t help but wonder how hard he’d been hit in the head. They found out as he started to talk. “I…I was sleeping. I woke up to a hand over my mouth.” Pausing, he cleared his throat. “Someone climbed on the bed and, and pinned me down. Then they put a needle in my arm.” The last words were said almost shamefully. His eyes jerked down towards his feet. “I felt the rush and then nothing. I woke up here.”

“And here is where you shall all be staying.” Another voice intruded on their moment. Six sets of eyes snapped up to look as their Unsub stood in the door at the far end of the room, a gun in his hand that looked suspiciously like one of their own. “Hello, BAU Agents. I imagine you’re all wondering why you’re in my humble basement.”

“What the hell do you want, you bastard?” Derek demanded loudly. To his side he could practically feel Penelope tense in fear at the sight of the man and the gun. The rest of the profilers were silent, watching the man, one of them watching with eyes that were a little wider than the others.

The man let out a laugh that held no real traces of humor in it. “Patience, Agent Morgan. All will be revealed in due time. I was just coming to make sure all of you had arrived in good health and to introduce myself.” He leaned against the doorframe, wearing a cocky grin. “My name is Marcus Duran.” When he said his name, all of them startled slightly. That had Marcus chuckling once more. “Oh, trust me, agents. I want you to know my name. I want you to know who I am. And no, telling you my name and showing you my face does not mean I plan to kill you. At least, not all of you. It is just rather important to the game that you know who I am.”

Without warning he shifted, straightening back up. “I’ll leave you to think on that until morning time. Enjoy your night!” Then, before anyone could say a word, he was out the door and was shutting it behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

Hours had gone by since they’d arrived. Through those hours, the team had done the only thing they could. They’d tried to profile him. There was only so much they could gather from their current situation and the short visit that he’d been there, but they were determined to do something. Anything. When Marcus finally walked into the room again after hours of being gone, he had a man following behind him. The man behind him also wore dark clothes, but he carried a .45 in his hands. Each member of the team watched the gun, instinctively keeping an eye on the threat. They all wondered what was going to happen.

All of them except Spencer.

Ever since they were told who this was that had them, he’d known what was going to happen. He knew what the man was going to make them do. It had taken no time at all for his brain to see the plan. Ever since he’d figured it out, he’d been trying to mentally prepare himself for what was to come. There was no way to stop it at the moment. All he could do was try and ready himself as the others built their profile and tried to make plans. It had been easy to let them think he was quiet because he was still coming down off his high. Better they try and plan than worry about him.

With pride Spencer tipped his chin up and met Marcus stare for stare as their captor walked straight toward him.

When Marcus reached him, he stepped slightly to the side and reached up above Spencer’s head to where the cuffs were hooked into the wall. From his spot on the wall, Derek practically snarled. “Get the fuck away from him!” he swore as he rattled his bonds. A whimper came from Penelope and there was a soft hiss from Emily. The man with the gun pointed it level at Spencer’s head, daring anyone to try anything. The steady way he held his gun, combined with the stance he took, showed he wasn’t afraid to shoot. Indeed, in his eyes, Spencer could see the man was _eager_ to shoot.

“What are you doing?” Aaron demanded hoarsely. He couldn’t just sit there and watch as they did whatever they wanted to do to his youngest agent.

When the cuffs were undone, Spencer’s arms dropped down to his sides, his shoulders aching from being held in that position for so long. Marcus glared hatefully at Spencer. “Get in the middle of the room. Now.” He snapped.

Legs slightly shaky from being on them so long, he nonetheless did what he was told. When he was in the center of the room, he could see all his friends perfectly spread out before him. Pride pulled his chin up just a little. He was not going to break in front of them. They’d all seen him at his lowest points in life. He was not going to shatter again. He was going to be strong through this, no matter what.

The goon still had his gun pointed at Spencer, saying nothing, just standing there. Marcus strolled over. He grabbed Spencer’s wrists, cuffing them together behind his back with police issue cuffs. _Probably one of the ones he took from us._ Spencer thought to himself. For some reason that made it just a little worse. Though, that was probably the whole idea.

Marcus stood in front of him again, sneering at him. “Your team wants to know what I’m doing, Dr. Reid.” He spat the title out like it was something vile. “I know your brain. I researched you. You’ve probably already figured it out. Why don’t you tell them what’s going to happen here?”

He was going to make him tell them? What was the point of that? Spencer’s mind scrambled over this, trying to see what the trick was. _He’s just trying to show his authority in the situation. He’s exerting his control and trying to prove his dominance. Not to mention that having me tell them, he most likely hopes I’ll be terrified. That I’ll shake and tremble and plead for it not to happen. He wants my fear and he wants me to break. Well, I’ll be damned if I’ll give it to him._

Spencer’s chin went up just a little bit more and his spine went slightly straighter. No matter what went down, nothing he did was going to change this. Nothing would stop it until they figured out a plan to escape. He had no doubt that they would. Together, no one could stop this team. No one. All he had to do was hold on until then. But if he was going to do this, he’d be damned if he’d do it cowering. He’d do it with as much pride as he could muster.

“Why should I tell them, Marcus?” He asked politely. Deliberately he kept his tone disinterested. “Don’t you want the glory of the moment?”

From the corner of his eye he saw Aaron trying to discreetly shake his head at him, a warning to keep his tongue under control. Dave was staring seriously at him with the same warning on his face. Emily and Penelope exchanged a look between each other that spoke of their worry. Derek looked like he was working on controlling his rage.

Marcus, however, wasn’t bothering to control his temper. He slammed a fist forward, straight into Spencer’s gut. Amidst the cries of his friends, Spencer doubled over, gasping as he tried to breathe through the punch. He’d been as prepared for it as possible but that didn’t make it hurt any less. Just barely he managed to space his feet just right and lock his knees enough to stay upright. He was not going to go down easy.

A fist in his hair yanked his head back up. “Don’t question me, you little shit.” The man hissed. “You tell them. _Now_.” He practically flung Spencer’s head forward, almost succeeding in sending him down to the ground. He kept his feet, though. He held on to that fact. He’d kept his feet under him.

Straightening back up, Spencer looked from one friend to the next, trying to plead with them to keep quiet, needing them to understand that nothing they said would change this. Then he swallowed and made his voice as calm as possible, as if he was simply discussing another case. Not his own life. “This is Marcus, the oldest of four brothers. When I first joined the Bureau, I went with Gideon on a consultation to Des Moines. We not only consulted at the station, but Gideon decided that it was good practice for me to talk to witnesses. We went to the house where Marcus and his brothers lived with their father. We interviewed them, because their youngest boy had seen the Unsub when he dropped one of the bodies in the park.”

“Your precious agent Gideon is lucky he can’t be found.” Marcus interrupted with a hiss. “Or I’d have him here as another special guest of honor.”

Spencer just gave him a dry look. “Would you like to finish the story?” he asked politely. This time he was more prepared for the fist, but it still took him down to one knee. He heard a soft sob that he knew came from Penelope and muttered cursing that was most likely Derek, but no one else made a sound. Thankfully. Yet again a hand fisted in his hair brought him back up. “Finish it.” Marcus hissed.

This time it took a moment to breathe through the pain enough to get his tone normal again. “We gathered our witness statement and interviewed the other members of the family. When Gideon and I went back to the station, we both reported the father to the authorities. It was obvious to us that the boys were all being abused. No one paid any attention to our report, at least not quick enough. Before we left, the youngest brother had been beaten to death.”

“And it was all your fault!” Marcus shouted at him. “You could have helped us but you _didn’t_!”

Spencer didn’t even look at him. “I watched information on the investigation. It came out that the father had locked his kids in the basement frequently and forced them to beat on one another or he would threaten to shoot one of them. He would pick one and they were required to hurt him. If they refused, he would threaten to shoot. The last time, the youngest suffered severe internal injuries and died as a result.”

He had his breath back enough and the pain under enough control so that he could lift his chin once again and meet Marcus with a steady stare. “I remember you, Marcus. You were the oldest. I remember your whole family. And you’re correct in assuming that I deduced what it is you intend. But I will tell you, right here and right now, you will not break me.” A corner of his mouth quirked. “Greater assholes than you have tried and failed.”

Everyone else in the room was watching in utter shock. None of them had ever seen Spencer like this.

Marcus gave him a nasty grin. “We’ll just see about that, Dr. Reid. You haven’t told them the best part, if they haven’t figured it out on their own yet. Go ahead, go on and tell them.”

The two men didn’t break eye contact as Spencer spoke to his friends in a voice strong and sure, without a sign of a single quaver. “He’s going to make me the little brother in this story. He’ll unhook you, either individually or as a group, and your job will be to beat me for however long he decides or under whatever directions he gives. His father usually demanded that specific transgressions be performed, so I imagine that Marcus here will have specifics as well. If you do not cooperate, he will threaten to shoot one of us. My best guess as to who his leverage is? Most likely Garcia.” Here, Spencer tried to word things correctly, to control just a small part of the situation. “Seeing as she’s not trained in combat, it’s reasonable that she’d be the leverage simply because he knows she wouldn’t cause enough damage for his taste as well as the fact that it’s known that we all love her like a sister.”

There. Hopefully that succeeded in doing what he wanted. He had no idea if Marcus really would use one person as leverage or if he’d threaten to shoot them all, but he’d thought all night about how he wanted to do this. Out of them all, there was no way Penelope would be able to hurt him. She just wouldn’t be able to bring herself to do it. If they managed to convince her, the act of hurting him would break her in ways it wouldn’t break the others. She wouldn’t ever heal from it if they got out of there. So he’d planned on making that speech, praying it manipulated their captor enough into doing like he suggested and saving Penelope that kind of pain.

Protests were rising around them. Marcus glared at the room, shouting “Shut up!” Once it was silent, he looked back at Spencer, grinning. “Boy, you are a smart one, aren’t you? Got the whole thing figured out. Has it made it easier, knowing what’s coming? Or has it been terrifying you all night long as you thought about this? You didn’t tell your team anything. Just sat there alone, knowing what was coming for you and knowing you deserved it.”

“What was the point of telling them and upsetting them more? I knew they would find out when the time came.” Spencer shrugged one shoulder, determined to keep his calm for the moment.

That calm seemed to be irritating Marcus. He glared slightly before his face cleared. “I know how to make this more fun.” He announced finally. “Dear old Dad did this one all the time. I’m going to let you pick, Dr. Reid.”

“Pick?”

“Yes, pick. Not only who gets the pleasure of being first, but I want you to pick one bone to be broken. Just one single bone. And, come on, no fingers please. No toes. That’s just, well, pitiful and too easy.”

Shit. Spencer had thought that he wouldn’t have to make this choice for a while. He knew that at some point Marcus would make him pick one of them to do it but he had counted on that being later, once he saw that Spencer really wasn’t going to break under all of this. But to do it right out the bat, that threw his entire mindset off kilter.

_That’s exactly what he wants. He’s trying to throw you off and undermine the calm he sees in you. He wants you off balance and unable to be strong. He is going to do anything that he can to break you. You can NOT let him win. You can NOT freak out over this. Now, just think. You knew what was coming already and you’d prepared for this. You’d already made a choice for when the situation came. Does that choice change because it’s earlier in the game than you thought? No. The thought behind it is still there. The reasons are the best. You need to stick with the decision you made._

“Fine.” Spencer said with another shrug. He wasn’t going to let Marcus win. “Am I doing this now or is this something you’re planning on leaving us to discuss? I mean, I wouldn’t want to mess with your plan or anything like that. You’re the one running the show here, right?”

Marcus laughed at him, apparently not minding his bravado. “Act as brave as you want, Doctor. You’re right, I am going to leave you all here to talk about it. You get fifteen minutes to make a decision. I don’t mind that they help you. Makes it better, actually, that they’ll sit and debate over who gets to hurt you. Much better. But remember this…” Once again he grabbed Spencer’s hair and tilted his head back. This time he brought their faces close, enjoying the small hiss Spencer let out. “If you touch their chains in any way at all, I will come down here and I will shoot whichever one you’re trying to free. Are we clear?”

“Absolutely.”

The calm response irritated Marcus enough that he yanked on Spencer’s hair even harder, forcing him backwards. There was no way to stop himself from falling. All he could do was twist just enough that he landed on his side and not his cuffed hands. Pain echoed up his body but he forced his ears to listen as Marcus made his way from the room. Once he heard the door shut, he shifted his body, closing his eyes for a moment against the ache in his side and gut. Someone called his name, but he ignored it as he dragged himself into a sitting position. Finally he managed to sit up. A few more aching breaths and a little shifting of his arms and he actually felt like he might be ready to face his team.

“Reid.” Aaron’s voice broke into his thoughts. Now that he was comfortable it was easier for Spencer to open his eyes and look over at his team leader. Aaron’s eyes bore into him. “You’ve known all night that this was coming?”

There really was no way around answering this question. “Yes.” He said simply.

The angry voice of Dave filled the room. “And you felt no need to share this with us? We could have been preparing a plan all night. But instead you sought to keep vital information to yourself.”

His earlier calm was coming back. As gently as possible, Spencer shifted from sitting to kneeling. Then he put one foot on the ground and pushed up, bringing himself once more to his feet. He wouldn’t have this conversation while staring up at them all. Spencer turned to look at Dave and slowly shook his head in response to the man’s words. “You would have rather spent the night worrying about who was going to be the one forced to hurt me? Or thinking about how, yet again, the youngest agent is going to be forced into a position of pain? If I had told you, then all of you would have spent the night trying to comfort me or trying to find a way around hurting me.”

“Exactly! We could’ve come up with something to stop this!” Dave snapped. His hands rattled against the chains above his head as he jerked in agitation. That sound grated at Spencer’s ears. He wanted to close his eyes against what he could see around him, against the pain that came from knowing that his team was here because of him. They were going to be hurt, because of him. And there was nothing he could do to stop it. But he let none of that show on his face. He had to be strong; tough.

A dry, humorless chuckle came from Spencer. “No, you wouldn’t have. There’s no way around this. At least, not in the present moment. You were all doing something much better with your time. Since you didn’t know the threat, you focused on trying to escape, which is a viable option. Instead of focusing on me, you were focusing on the team. That’s what needed to be done.”

“But sweetie, we can’t help that we worry about you. You’re part of the team too.” Penelope said softly.

“I am.” Spencer agreed. He looked over at Penelope and felt another pang of heartache. _She doesn’t deserve this. None of them do, but most especially her._ “But we are a team, not individuals. The focus needed to be on the whole picture, not just a single part of it.” He sighed and shrugged again. “Plus, I needed the time to keep those thoughts to myself.”

“Why?” Emily asked him.

He didn’t have to answer her. His boss did that for him. “To prepare” Aaron said. His voice was strong and accepting. Out of them all, Spencer had known that his boss would be the one to understand his thought process on this and to accept the things that were necessary. He trained his eyes on his subordinate and there was so much understanding written in them that it helped to bolster Spencer’s strength. “He needed to mentally prepare himself for what was coming. Marcus wants you to break. He wants you to beg and plead and break under this. You aren’t intending on doing that, are you?”

“Never.” The simple answer was calm and cool. Spencer had accepted his fate in this. Just as he accepted that the likelihood of him making it out of the basement alive was so statistically low that he didn’t even want to think on the numbers.

Dave’s eyes widened slightly before his face settled into that calm, collected look he always wore. He was finding himself again. Somehow, even in chains, he looked in control of himself. “That’s why you were so surly to him. Why you didn’t give him what he wanted just now.” He said. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

Spencer licked his lips and stared at the senior profiler. “I’ll not die a coward.” He finally said to them all in a soft voice. “I won’t let another bastard break me down. When I die, it’ll be with my mind and my pride intact.”

The room fell silent as they all digested his words. Or, more accurately, his choice of words. _When I die_ —not _If I die_. That told them all exactly how he felt this would turn out.

“Debating reasons is getting us nowhere.” Derek cut in suddenly. He was obviously trying to draw the topic off of Spencer’s death. That was something that none of them wanted to think about. Derek knew he had to focus on something else. He had to hold on to the hope that all of them would get out of here. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing his little brother. “We need to figure out what to do before this bastard comes back down. He gave us a time limit.”

Spencer looked over to his best friend, seeing the heartache mixed with pride there. That, too, gave him strength. “We’re down to seven minute and fifty four seconds.” He told him. That was enough to have Derek’s mouth quirking in a grin. Seeing it, Spencer briefly smiled back. “Actually, I’ve already thought about this part too, guys.” He told them all, looking from one to the next.

“Why am I not surprised?” Emily said with a wry grin.

He’d already made his choice before. Those same reasons still stood. Though none of them wanted to do it, Spencer knew who he had to pick. If he could, he’d spare all of them the pain of doing this. But he couldn’t think of just one of their feelings as he did this. He had to think of the group and he had to think of how best to help himself survive for as long as possible. Not to save his life, but to save the others. The longer he lasted, the more chance they had of escaping. Once he died, Marcus would kill the others. They’d be useless to him. No matter that Marcus said he wasn’t going to kill anyone, Spencer didn’t believe him.

Even though he knew his choice was the one person who would want to do this the least—aside from Penelope—this was the one person he trusted the most for something like this. His eyes moved over to his best friend. To Derek. When their gazes collided, Spencer watched as Derek realized what he meant. Dark eyes widened in horror for a second. Before he could speak, Spencer did. “He wants a broken bone, Morgan. One broken bone and then most likely a simple beating. You have the most hand to hand training. Physically, you’re our most talented.”

“Kid…”

“Listen to me. I trust you, ok?” Knowing their time was limited, he tried to talk fast. “I need someone for this who knows where to hit and where to kick to mark a person but to cause as minimal damage as possible. He won’t want to see you holding back, so you’ll have to use your strength, but you know the human body. I trust you to do this. I trust you to break a bone and not break any others around it.”

The pained look in Derek’s eyes grew. “You want me to break a bone?”

“Yes. My nose.”

That drew surprised sounds from everyone. Before they could protest, Spencer shook his head at them. “I’ve thought this through. I can set a nose after this is done. I can still breathe around it, still move. Other bones are too exposed. If they’re hit later on, they could break worse. Fingers and toes aren’t allowed. That only leaves a wrist, but I don’t know if he’ll un-cuff me later or not, or a rib or my nose. I’ve had my ribs broken. It’s unpleasant and hard to think around.” Holding onto his calm, he gave his friend a wry look. “I need to stay as clearheaded as possible for as long as possible.”

Pain was written all over Derek’s face. “I don’t…I don’t want to hurt you, kid. Let alone break something.”

“I know, Morgan. But we don’t really have a choice. I plan on getting you all out of here alive, but I need to stall for time until then. That means playing his game. Please, for me, do this.”

He watched as Derek closed his eyes. After a second, the man nodded.

Now that he’d gotten what he wanted, Spencer nodded as well. He couldn’t help looking over at Penelope, at the heartache written clearly on her face. For a second he mentally debated. Then, walking over to her, he stood off to the side of her, making sure to stay back enough that whoever was watching would see that he wasn’t trying to set her free. “Garcia.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she met his gaze. “Oh, Reid.”

“Listen to me, Garcia. He won’t shoot you, ok? I don’t want you to be afraid for that. I won’t let it ever get to that point.”

“I know, sweetie. I’m not worried about me.”

Spencer gave her a gentle smile, trying to reassure her as best as possible. Casually he turned his head, just enough that only she would see his lips move. “I know. I’ll be fine, Garcia. I will. I know this is hard for you. That’s why I gave him the profile I did, there. I didn’t know he’d pick a person as leverage, so I pushed him into picking you.” He said this softly so that no one else could hear. Not even the others chained nearby. “You’re too kind. You never would have healed if you’d had to be the one to hurt me. I know it’ll be hard to watch. I know how much you hated watching in Georgia. But remember one thing for me, OK?”

Her tears were coming just a little faster. “What? Anything, Reid. Anything.”

“He may be causing the others to hurt me, but it’s on my terms. He thinks he’s in charge, but he’s not. I’m directing this show right now whether he likes it or not. And, in the end, I will make sure you get home. No matter what I have to do, I will make sure all of you get home. Understand me?”

“Yes.” Her tears came faster, but there was a small amount of strength in her eyes now. “Try to make sure you come home too, boy genius. Life without you wouldn’t be the same.”

When she smiled, he gave her one of his own and then stepped back. Time to start the game. They were down to three minutes and twelve seconds and Spencer wasn’t going to wait. He moved to the center of the room, looking over to where he’d spotted the camera earlier. Hm. He’d have to ask Penelope later if it was just a video camera or if there was the chance of audio on there. Though the small profile he’d built in his mind said there wouldn’t be audio. The little red light in the corner of it indicated it was on.

With another shrug, he moved to the door. “Hey!” He called, kicking at it. “We’re ready in here! You coming or what?”

“What the hell are you doing?” Derek hissed furiously. “Eager to be hurt, kid?”

“Hush.” Dave whispered. His eyes were trained on Spencer’s back with an unreadable expression. “He knows what he’s doing. He’s not letting Marcus lead this game. Reid’s making sure it’s on _his_ terms.”


	3. Chapter 3

Spencer backed up a moment before the two came through the door. He backed himself into the center of the room and adopted as bored an expression as he could manage. Marcus moved toward him, looking a little surprised at the calm that Spencer was maintaining. “That was quick.” He said with a sneer. “Keen to accept your fate, you little shit?”

“It’s got to be better than standing here listening to you.” Spencer retorted dryly. He quirked an eyebrow at the man who was now gaping at him. “Can we get on with this? I’m a little bored of this verbal sparring. You insult, I insult, and then you hit me. It’s a boring pattern.”

“Well far be it for me to bore you.” Marcus practically snarled at him. His face was a mask of rage and Spencer could see that Marcus wanted to strike out at him but he was restraining himself, knowing that if he hit he’d just be giving in to Spencer’s taunts. In that instant, without realizing it, he gave some of his power over to Spencer. The younger man recognized it and fought the urge to smirk.

Marcus stepped forward. “Did you make your choices?”

“Yes.”

After waiting a second, Marcus glared and moved forward, gripping at Spencer’s shirt. “What the hell are they, then?”

Spencer raised one eyebrow. “Oh, you wanted me to tell you my choices? You should speak a little clearer. Your question was poorly phrased. You should have said ‘What are your choices?’ That would have been more accurate.” Before Marcus could react, Spencer kept talking. “But, I digress. To answer you, I choose Agent Morgan. Do you need me to tell you what bone he is going to break or are you looking to be surprised? I’m unclear as to all the rules in this game.”

He watched as Marcus seemed to splutter before him. The man didn’t know how to react to Spencer’s calm boredom. It was throwing his whole plan off. He’d obviously expected Spencer to be terrified of what was going to happen to him. He definitely hadn’t expected courage or boredom. _Just keep him off balance without pushing him too far, or he’ll kill you outright and end it all._

Abruptly Marcus released Spencer and moved over to Derek. He pulled out keys, as well as a gun of his own. He kept that gun trained on Derek’s head while he unlocked him and the other man kept his gun trained on Spencer. The dark agent brought his hands down, rubbing at his wrists while glaring at Marcus. With a jerk of his gun, Marcus gestured him toward Spencer.

“Here are the rules for this session.” He hissed at them both. Some of his confidence returned as he stood in what was obviously his element. The plan gave him confidence. “I don’t want to hear any talking from anyone but little Reid.” His gun shifted to point to Penelope. “Or I’ll shoot her. Disobey what I say and I shoot her. Try to attack us and I shoot her. Are we clear?”

Derek nodded and Spencer sighed before saying “Yes, quite clear. May I ask a question?”

That surprised Marcus. After a moment’s debate, he nodded. Spencer tipped his head a little and let half his mouth curl. “Do I need to remain handcuffed for this? Because if you insist I do, I’m going to hit the ground at some point and break one or both wrists. While you might enjoy that, it would break your ‘one broken bone’ rule, as a wrist is not what I chose. You know I won’t fight back. Or am I to stay restrained to make you feel _safer_?”

The others watched with bated breath as rage stole over Marcus’s face. He wasn’t the most stable of men, they could tell. One wrong thing could push him over the edge. But it seemed like Spencer was carefully walking along that edge without actually crossing to either side.

After a tense minute, Marcus tossed a key toward Derek, who instinctively caught it. “Unlock him and toss the key and cuffs over by the door. Try to keep them or pull anything funny and I’ll shoot your little Garcia here.”

When his hands were released, Spencer resisted rubbing at them. He watched his best friend throw the keys and the cuffs over by the door. Then Marcus was backing up, his gun still pointed toward Penelope, until he was standing almost where Derek had been chained. The other goon—Spencer couldn’t help it as part of his brain tried to profile the man to figure out who he was and why he was there. He also couldn’t help labeling him as a ‘goon’ in his mind—backed up to the wall by the door, his gun at the ready as well. It wasn’t pointed at anyone anymore, but he was ready to if necessary. They were fully trapped in here.

Marcus looked so much more at ease now that his plan was starting. His grin had grown and his eyes were glittering with a sick pleasure. “Time for the games to begin. I want you to hit him, _Agent_ Morgan. Not the face, not yet. And I want the broken bone to be last.” He gave a dark little chuckle. “I’ll tell you when you can stop.”

In Derek’s eyes, Spencer could see how hard his friend was fighting himself. There was no doubt that Marcus was serious about this. He was going to force Derek to beat his best friend. A man he cared deeply about. The horror of that was easy to see on Derek’s face. He wouldn’t be able to do this if Spencer didn’t prod him. Carefully he met Derek’s eyes, his look so intense that his best friend couldn’t look away. Once he had his attention, Spencer spoke only two words. Two important words. “Do it.”

With a defeated and furious look, Derek balled his fist and sent a punch straight into Spencer’s stomach. The younger man stumbled back from the blow, his body bending just slightly as air whooshed out of him. He heard Derek’s soft moan, the sound of a broken sob that he thought came from Penelope, and he could hear Marcus start to chuckle. “Ah, ah, Agent Morgan.” Marcus said snidely. “No pulling your punches. That takes all the fun out of it. Do you need me to show you how to properly hit?” He smirked as Spencer straightened back up. “Hit his stomach again; and this time, don’t even think about pulling your punch.”

Agony was bright in Derek’s eyes. _I’m sorry_ his expression practically screamed. Spencer just braced his feet and gave his friend a firm nod. He could take this. He was strong. He was capable…this time the blow to his stomach had him almost dropping to the ground. He coughed and wheezed, one arm wrapping around his waist as he tried to breathe. He felt Derek’s hands trying to brace him, to automatically go to help him, but Marcus stopped him once more. “No helping, Agent! Another hit, please.”

The next hit glanced off of Spencer’s shoulder, almost spinning him around. Because of how it made him twist, it prevented Marcos from seeing that Derek had barely caught the edge of his bicep instead of actually connecting with his shoulder.

Spencer locked his mind down and pulled into himself as the beating progressed. He didn’t need to catalogue every punch that was thrown. When he hit the ground, his body moved on autopilot, rising back to his feet.

CMCM

How long it lasted, Spencer had no idea. It was all pain in some form or another. But he was determined to withstand it. He locked his cries behind his teeth, knowing that any that slipped out would only hurt his friend more and satisfy Marcus. The only sounds he made were grunts or hisses or occasionally coughing or wheezing. Outside, his body was locked down tight under control. Inside, his mind was whirling, trying to think ahead, to think of anything to distract himself from the pain. He tried to profile the man and to plan for their situation, all the while keeping a small part of attention on reality.

It was in these thoughts that he realized something important. When he was on the ground, trying to lift himself back up, his eyes looked over his friends, seeing their pained expressions, seeing the tears on Penelope’s cheeks. Aaron looked at him with such a look of strength that it helped Spencer find his own enough to climb back up. Dave gave him a firm nod of encouragement. Emily just smiled; weakly, but a smile nonetheless. But just as he reached his feet, Spencer realized something. Something important. One person was missing.

The implications of that left him sick. _No_ his mind cried out. _Please, no. Let me be wrong. Let me be wrong about this._ He didn’t get much longer to think about it, though.

When he heard Marcus call out “Face. One solid to the face and then the broken bone, please. I can’t wait for the surprise!” Spencer gathered as much of his courage as he could and drew back out of his mind and to the present moment. This was going to be a test of his strength. Tipping his face, he looked into Derek’s eyes again—he hated the pain he saw in that dark gaze; the utter agony—and gave him one more nod. “Do it quickly.” He whispered.

The first punch snapped Spencer’s head to the side, the whole right side of his face screaming at the impact. The second blow came quickly, right to the side of his nose, sending him flying to the ground.  It was almost too much. He had to bite his lip to keep the scream inside. He sucked in a deep breath as he lay there, only to have it trigger a coughing fit. Vaguely he heard Marcus order Derek back to the wall and he could hear the rattle of chains.

As he coughed, Spencer curled his body, arms going to his stomach to try to ease the ache there. He took a few calming breaths as he tried to get himself under control. That was broken for a split second when a hand gripped his hair and yanked his head back. He looked up into Marcus’s eyes and forced himself to lock his agony down and put his mask on. This man would not see him break.

“You feeling the pain yet, Dr. Reid?” Marcus taunted him. “Does it hurt?”

“Trust me, I’ve had worse.”

“We’ll see how sanguine you are when it comes time for the next round. Until then, I hope you enjoy lying here, bleeding.”

When Marcus let go of him and started to move away, Spencer laughed. It wasn’t loud; more of a private, soft chuckle. But it drew the attention back to him, just like he’d wanted it to. What was going to happen next would hurt, he knew. There was no way he’d win this without some concessions on his part. But Spencer was willing to make those concessions. He’d planned out what he was going to do if Marcus tried to leave them as they were. While he’d been distracting himself from the beating, he’d planned. Now it was time to put that plan into action. The outcome of this would not only make or break his first plan, but it would answer one important question that was niggling at Spencer’s insides.

Marcus walked back over to him and squatted down. “Is there something funny here that I’m missing, _Doctor_?” He hissed at him.

Another chuckle slipped out almost sounding like a gasp. “Just you, that’s all.” He said with a half grin.

“And what the hell is so damn funny?”

“It’s funny how hard you’re trying to be like your dad and how hard you’re failing.” Spencer answered promptly. He made himself chuckle once more. “I mean, you can’t even do all this right. Look at it! It’s nothing like what he used to set up. You’re pathetic. Can’t even recreate something you _lived_ in. Is that why Daddy got so frustrated with you? Because you were slow?”

A fist to his face had Spencer’s head snapping back. Thankfully he’d turned his head enough that it grazed his cheek and didn’t hit his nose. He tightened his body against the pain, trying to curl in on himself, trying not to bring his hands up to knock the bastard out, but somehow he managed the strength to laugh again. “What? Don’t like hearing the truth?” he taunted.

“You shut up! You have no idea what it was like down there! You weren’t there!” Marcus shouted at him. Spittle flew from his lips and flecked over Spencer’s now throbbing face.

He tried to ignore the new pain in his face and focus on what he was supposed to be doing. This was supposed to be a means to an end. He had a goal in this conversation. _Don’t forget that goal._ “I read the case reports. I read what happened to you all. If you know anything about me, you know I don’t forget what I read.” He ran his tongue over his teeth, fighting the taste of blood so he could keep going. “Look at us and look at what your dad did. You’re nothing compared to him. You have to chain us all up just to exert control. Your dad didn’t need that. He just had a gun and fear to use against you. You’re pathetic. You’ll never be like him. You’re so scared of us you can’t even use just a gun to control us all. You have to shackle us to a wall.”

This time it was a kick to the stomach as Marcus shot to his feet. Pain had Spencer gasping and coughing as he tried to draw air in. His vision went a little black around the edges and his ears were filled with the sound of his own heartbeat. For a few long minutes he had to fight to stay conscious and to just simply breathe.

When his brain cleared and he could see and hear again, he had to resist grinning. His words had done exactly what he’d wanted. The goon was training a gun on the group as Marcus unhooked them all and ordered them against the wall. He was ranting and threatening them that, if they tried to escape or attack, he would kill any one of them. But he had done what Spencer wanted. He’d unchained everyone. That would not only make their chance of escape greater, but it would allow them to band together. Yet at the same time, the fact that Marcus unhooked them from the shackles as well as the ease with which it had been accomplished had Spencer’s stomach plummeting. He had the answer to his question and, even though part of him had _known_ what that answer was, having it confirmed left him aching inside worse than anything the beating had done. He knew where the missing person was now. He also had a feeling that this had been part of the plan from the start. _It was far too easy—he probably planned on letting us out of the shackles already. I just pushed him into doing it a little earlier than he’d intended. Dammit. What am I missing here? I need to think clearly!_

Marcus stormed past him, aiming another kick his direction. In his effort to keep it from hitting his stomach, it caught him in the genitals instead. The world exploded in a flash of agony. Spencer missed whatever it was Marcus said as he left the room, the door slamming shut and locking. All of his attention was focused on trying not to hurl. His hands instinctively dropped down to cradle the area. Nausea burned his stomach and throat until he couldn’t control it anymore. Even knowing that it would hurt his battered body even more, Spencer rolled sideways and retched. It made his ribs ache which made the nausea worse which only made a horrible cycle.

Hands were on him suddenly, bracing him as he emptied up the only thing that was in his system…stomach acid. Eventually it turned to dry heaves and then it dissipated. When it did, Spencer found himself being sat up and moved away from his own vomit. Multiple sets of hands were holding him, bringing him gently toward the wall before leaning him against it. And even though he hurt, Spencer gave a small smile of satisfaction. He had done it. He had made it through the first round.

A hand that was decidedly small and slightly delicate swept across his forehead. His mind catalogued the touch and knew who it was. Emily.

“You are a giant idiot.”

Yep, that was definitely Emily. He forced his eyes open and looked into her worried face. She glared at him as she spoke again. “You provoked him yet again.”

Spencer sucked in a breath as gently as he could. “Had to.” He wheezed out. “Got you free, right?” His words cut off when Aaron pulled a hankie out of his pocket and put it over Spencer’s bleeding nose. The young man gratefully took it and tipped his head back, pinching slightly to try and stem the bleeding. He could taste blood in his mouth, but he ignored it.

Eyes wide, Emily stared at him. “You did that so we could…!”

Quicker than he had thought he’d be able to, Spencer brought his hand up to cover her mouth. He only held it there for a second before dropping it. Then he deliberately moved his eyes toward the door and the camera and back to her face. “I don’t need him hearing you outside the room, Emily. Please tone it down just a little. You can speak freely, but at a low level. There is a camera over there, but I am almost positive there’s no microphone in there.” His words were slightly muffled because of his plugged nose and the cloth that was over it, but they were understandable.

“How can you be positive?” Dave asked him with surprise.

Spencer looked over to his friend, realizing that everyone was crouched around him. “Because this is, so far, an exact replica of the basement where they were held. Even down to the type of camera. And his father never used microphones. He’s trying to emulate his father exactly; changing details like that would be almost impossible for him to handle in this fantasy he’s built.”

“I’d guess you’re right.” Penelope spoke in a soft whisper that still held the hint of the tears on her face. She sniffled, looking at the camera for a moment and then looking back at them. “That model’s old. It’s not the type to have a mic in it. An so far, I don’t see anything down here that could be a microphone. Not to say there’s nothing hidden.”

Grim faced, Aaron looked around the room before he looked back at Spencer. “He doesn’t care what we say or what we plan. He thinks he has everything planned out and is probably convinced there’s nothing we can do to stop him, so he’s not going to worry about any plans we make.”

That had Spencer smiling a little in agreement, something he quickly regretted. That only brought to life the pain in his face. Everything in him was aching, but it was slowly starting to retreat. He knew Derek had been careful about where he hit. There would be bruises and his body would be sore, but it wasn’t as bad as it looked. The only bad part was his nose.

While the others watched on, Spencer felt at his nose, testing the damage. _God bless Derek_ he thought to himself. His best friend hadn’t actually broken his nose. Oh, it may have looked like it, but gentle probing told Spencer it wasn’t. Experience also told him that it would be tender for a while but not really that bad. All the blood had just made it look worse than it was. He’d gotten off easy…this time.

He relaxed just a little now that he knew the damage, his hand shifting so that he was back to pinching instead of feeling at his nose, keeping the blood from flowing. As he did, he looked over to Derek, who was sitting as far away from him as possible, looking so guilt ridden that it broke Spencer’s heart. Those dark eyes of his were locked on his hands; on the blood that stained his knuckles. Spencer had known Derek would have a hard time with this, but he thought he might know a way to make it a little easier. Arm shaking slightly, he braced his weight on one hand, the other still holding the hankie to his nose, and moved himself in Derek’s direction. Instantly he was being held back. “Stay still, Reid.” Aaron ordered him. “You need to rest your body.”

“Not yet.” His eyes went past them, over to Derek, meeting his best friend’s eyes. “Derek.” He croaked out his friend’s name, deliberately using his first name. “Please.”

Concern for Spencer overcame guilt, just as Spencer had known it would. He knew that Derek would generally push aside anything if he thought his ‘little brother’ needed him. It was what Spencer had been counting on. The guilt-ridden agent shifted toward him, coming close but not quite touching. “Please what, kid? What is it?”

Spencer reached out and took Derek’s hand in his. Once he had a good grip, he tugged lightly, bringing Derek close. When his friend was right beside him, Spencer shifted, letting his head rest against Derek’s shoulder. Instinctively Derek brought that arm up, wrapping it around Spencer’s small frame. His eyes almost instantly started to slide shut.

A hand came up to stroke through his hair. “Rest, pretty boy. I’m right here.”

Now that he was infinitely more comfortable—and honestly, feeling a tiny bit safer, despite how silly that was. None of them were safe while they were here—he knew it was time for him to talk. Time for him to tell the team the few things he’d been able to figure out. They needed to know what he knew and what he guessed or else they’d never be able to get out of here.

It took willpower for Spencer to make his eyes open back up. “I’ll rest in a little bit.” He finally said in answer to Derek’s words. “Everyone, please, sit. We need to talk about a few things.”

Penelope moved to Spencer’s other side, resting her hand on his hip, a gesture that normally might have made him flinch or blush. Right now, he welcomed it. In this little prison that was their hell, they had to band together. It was the only way that they would survive. So he welcomed her touch, for once not minding it in the least bit. He watched as Emily sat almost in front of Derek, but angled toward Spencer. Aaron and Dave sat in front of Spencer and Penelope, adjusting until they all made a tight circle, knees brushing against each other.

Now that they were comfortable—as comfortable as one can be on the hard ground—Spencer swallowed down the thickness in his throat to try and start speaking, wincing at the taste of blood. He pulled the hankie away, gently touching his nose until he was sure that it wasn’t bleeding anymore. Then he dropped the cloth down to his lap. He knew how he probably looked to the others, with blood down his face and most likely on his neck and shirt, but there was nothing he could do about that. There was no way to change it, so he was going to ignore it.

“I thought of a few things.” Spencer finally began. He fiddled with the hem of his shirt, trying to keep his nervous gestures under control. _Keep that calm that you found earlier. Keep strong_. But the nervous twitching wasn’t really nerves. He knew what it was from; knew, quite intimately, the coming-down feeling his body was going through as the drug worked its way out of his system. _Don’t focus on that. Focus on the rest of this. Now is not the time to think about that._ “While everything was happening, I kind of drew into my thoughts. It seemed the best time to think and to plan. And the conclusions that I came to are…quite disturbing.”

Penelope gave his hip a gentle squeeze. “What do you mean, Reid?”

Oh, he really didn’t want to say this. He didn’t want to give them these thoughts. But he knew that he had to. “To start with, Marcus took all of you as well as myself because he wanted my ‘family’ here with me to punish me. To him, it is appropriate that I die the same way his younger brother died. That means that it has to be at the hands of those I consider family, correct? Because anyone who observes me knows I’m not close with my Dad, and there’s no way Mom would be able to participate in something like this. That only leaves people who are _like_ family.”

“The delusion would require him to pick people you consider family.” Dave agreed with him. “Even more so, people who view you like a younger relative, so to speak.”

Spencer nodded before realizing that it probably wasn’t the smartest move. His eyes slammed shut as he worked to control the slight spinning that came from the small gesture. A painful throb to his face worked as an anchor, grounding him in the dizziness until he had it under control once more. When he opened his eyes, he ignored the concerned looks he was getting, as well as the sudden tenseness to Derek’s body. He shifted a little closer against his best friend and started to talk before anyone else could. “Exactly. So he gathered everyone that is important to me. Except for two. Gideon, he said he couldn’t find. But that still leaves us minus one member of our ‘family’.”

It took only a moment before the realization kicked in. Emily’s eyes went wide as she voiced what they were all thinking “JJ.” She breathed out. “But…she’s not part of the team anymore!”

“No, but anyone who watches me would know that she’s family. She’s like a mother to me half the time and a sister the other half. I’m Godfather to her only child. The bond there is unmistakable. If he was picking people that are family, that he knows would hurt me psychologically to have like this, then wouldn’t she be a logical choice?”

“She’d be one that would hurt you the most.” Derek agreed with him in a tight voice.

Emily gave a little nod. “And anyone who has ever seen the two of you together can see how close you are.”

A look passed between the two senior profilers. Then Aaron rested his elbows on his knees, his face hard and thoughtful. “What are you thinking, Reid?” he asked. To him, it was obvious that the youngest profiler had a theory on this.

And he did. It just wasn’t one that he liked very much. “After the trial, after Duran was put away, Gideon discovered something else from the officers. It didn’t come to light until three months _after_ the trial, when one of the kids was in therapy. Mrs. Duran had been missing for over a year before the youngest boy died.” Pausing, Spencer had to clear his throat. His eyes closed against the ache he felt, inside and out. “Apparently she was kept in the house under lock and key and hidden away if anyone stopped by. The father, he threatened the boys like I said with shooting one another, but his biggest leverage was their mother. If they disobeyed, he would hurt her and make them listen to her screams.”

He heard Penelope’s gasp and her whispered “Oh my God” as well as the sharp intakes of breath from the others that signaled that they knew where he was going with this, but he kept talking, even as his face throbbed. He had to get this out.

“I think he has JJ and I think he’s casting her into the mother role in this. She’s been considered the ‘motherly’ figure of our team before and so it would be logical in his delusions for him to make that connection. I wasn’t sure, which was why I didn’t mention her or the mother earlier. I wanted to wait and see and, if it wasn’t true, I didn’t want to hurt you all with thinking about it or provide him with any new ideas. If he wasn’t going to do it, I didn’t want him to know that I knew about his mother and then seek to recreate it. But when I manipulated him into releasing you all, well, it was too easy. The only way he’d do that would be if he had leverage on the outside. Otherwise, what would stop us from rushing him and getting his gun and getting free? But if he has another partner aside from the goon with the gun in here, if he has someone who stays upstairs and guards JJ, then he knows he has us under control.”

For a long moment the team sat and digested this information. Spencer rested his mouth. Talking hurt, quite a lot more than he wanted to admit to.

Each one of them was thinking long thoughts. Aaron ached at the thought of the bubbly woman being held by a group of evil men upstairs, knowing that her team was being hurt downstairs. And she was still considered part of the team, even if she didn’t work with them anymore.

Dave wanted to curse out loud, thinking about JJ being in the hands of those bastards. She was a tough woman; tougher than anyone would think. But she was kind and sweet as well and she was a mother. He prayed nothing had happened to Henry or Will when she’d been taken.

Emily just sat silent, trying to keep herself under control, trying not to think the painful thoughts that threatened to pop up. Trying not to picture her cheerful friend somewhere nearby, restrained, potentially hurt. She had to hold on to hope that this would end up ok. If she didn’t, she was afraid she might break a little. Herself being in danger was one thing; those that she cared about, that was something else entirely.

The only physical reaction Derek showed was a slight tightening to the arm he had wrapped around Spencer. _Dammit_ he thought to himself. _Dammit, not her too. How the hell are we going to get out of here without getting her hurt? Without getting her killed?_

It was Penelope who couldn’t quite take all of this in. It was almost too much for her. “But, but, he can’t have her.” She argued suddenly, brokenly. “If he did, he would have told us, right? What would be the point of using her as leverage if he didn’t let us know that he had her? Are you…are you positive, Reid? I mean, you can’t know. How can you know for sure if we haven’t seen her?”

“Because.” Spencer told her. “He knew I would figure it out and he knew it would hurt me more that way. Or he was waiting for us to try something so he could bring her down and show her to us and hurt her. It would have been psychological torture of the worst kind to attempt to escape and fail and then discover he had her and she was going to be hurt because of what we tried.”

Hands curled into fists, Derek worked to keep his tone level. “This son of a bitch is smart. He’s thought this all out.” He said through gritted teeth. None of them said the words they were all thinking. Escape just became infinitely harder, now that they also had JJ to rescue.

The team stuck to what they knew best and tried to keep their hope alive. They started to profile. “He’s definitely intelligent.” Aaron agreed. “But he’s definitely unstable. It doesn’t take much to provoke him into a rage.”

As he listened to his friends start to profile Marcus and the other potential Unsubs, Spencer found himself starting to drift against Derek’s warm body. When Derek’s hand stroked over his hair, Spencer didn’t even flinch, just sighed a little. A sleepless night mixed with the stress of their situation, the drugs leaving his system, and now the beating had pooled together to make him exhausted. But here, against Derek, he felt safe. Safe enough to sleep. Derek must have sensed it because he turned his head enough to quietly murmur “Catch a nap, Reid. I’ve got you.”

“You’ll wake me when he comes?” Spencer mumbled. He couldn’t stop himself from adjusting, moving even closer to Derek so that he was warmer. In that moment he realized how chilly the basement was.

Derek’s voice was a quiet murmur. “Yeah, kid. Promise. Now get some sleep.”

Content that he was as safe as possible right now and that he was doing the best thing he could do to ease his friend’s guilt, Spencer let himself fall asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Spencer woke to the sound of the door slamming open. It took him a single instant to wake his brain up enough to realize where he was and why his body hurt like hell. Another second for him to figure out why there was an arm suddenly tightening around him. Then it all came back to him in one huge flash. His eyes shot open and he focused on the other side of the room, his body going taunt. Goon One from earlier was standing there, with a second goon behind him.

The hand on Spencer’s hip squeezed convulsively as Penelope saw the men. There was a minute shifting from Emily and Aaron, who had been in front of Spencer but off to the sides. Dave sat directly in front of him and turned, keeping his back to Spencer in a protective way, looking to the men. It didn’t escape Spencer’s notice that his entire team was moving to shelter him; that knowledge made his heart swell a little.

“Everyone, on your feet and against the wall. Now!” Snarled Goon One. In the back of his mind, Spencer thought to himself that he needed to figure out names for these guys that were better than ‘Goon One’ and ‘Goon Two’. He didn’t have much time to think on it at the moment. His body protested as Derek shifted to help him stand. Sleeping on the hard ground had put extra kinks in Spencer’s body. His stomach throbbed, not wanting to straighten. Spencer gritted his teeth and pushed the pain down as best as he could. Derek’s arm around him and Penelope’s hand in his were the biggest help in him getting up.

When the group of profilers was standing, backs pressed against the wall, goon two disappeared out of the room only to return a moment later with a cardboard box. He brought that box to the center of the room, the same place that Spencer had taken all those hits earlier, and set it down. Then, pointing his gun at the others, he started to back away. But with him that close, Spencer had been able to see him well enough to figure something out. This was one of Marcus’s brothers. Goon One, no. But Goon Two? Most definitely. The question was, which one?

Spencer quickly did the mental math, recalling the names and ages of the others as well as their photos. Then he tried to match that up to the age difference between Marcus and goon two. By the time the guy was back by the door, Spencer knew who it was. Eli. The second youngest of the brothers. He looked at Goon One again. No, that guy wasn’t one of the brothers. His skin was just a little bit darker. But Eli looked like a smaller, thinner version of Marcus.

Goon One sneered at them. “You can come to the box but no closer. And we’re going to stand here and watch. Marcus is giving you food and water. Don’t want you dying on us.” His dark eyes—they were such a dark brown they almost looked black—drifted over to Spencer and his sneer grew a little sharp. “At least, not too fast.” He added on.

A shiver worked down Spencer’s spine. This guy was scarier than Marcus. There was an air of menace about him that was chilling.

The team knew they had to eat and they had to drink. There was no option. If they were going to be down here, they needed to keep up their strength. Eyes drifted to Spencer as well and he knew what they were thinking. If he was going to make it for any amount of time, he needed all the strength he could get. Aaron looked at his team and gave them a brief nod. Trying to control the little tremble in his hands, Spencer took the first step forward. Penelope and Derek instantly started to move with him.

The team approached the box cautiously, peering down inside of it. There were simple sandwiches sitting in there as well as bottles of water. One for each of them.

With a trembling smile that was not typical on her face, Emily squatted down to pick up a sandwich before looking up at the men. “Thank you.” She whispered. She was playing up the ‘scared female’ card to try and get a reaction from them. It seemed to work with Eli; the man nodded briefly at her. But Goon One just stared at her.

Aaron handed a bottle of water to Spencer, carefully breaking the seal on it. He took it gratefully. They all knew there was a risk to taking this—it was one they were willing to take. They had to. Unscrewing the lid, Spencer tried to keep his hands from trembling enough that he could get the bottle to his lips without spilling a drop. His throat was dry and sore and the water felt like heaven. He drank a quarter of it down before he made himself stop. He needed to eat, too.

Dave had handed a sandwich and water to Penelope, who was forced to let go of Spencer’s hand to take them. She was alternating between eating and staring at the two men with guns, obviously uncomfortable with the guns but just as obviously she was finding some of that internal strength that she had. She was stronger than many people realized.

While Spencer folded himself to the floor with Derek’s help, he heard Dave clear his throat. “I’ll admit I’m a little surprised that you are feeding us.” He said around a bite of food in a friendly voice. “Not that I’m complaining, really. Just…surprised.”

It was Goon One who answered him. He sounded hard and uncaring and just cold enough that it made Spencer want to shiver again. “Like I told you, Marcus don’t want you to die. Least, not all of you. He has nothing against the rest of you. You’re just unfortunate enough to be associated with this piece of trash here.”

Feeling Derek tense beside him, Spencer touched his friend’s leg as discreetly as he could. If Derek could keep his cool then Dave might have a chance to find out a little information. Any information was helpful; they all knew that. The look Derek gave him said he understood. He kept his mouth shut and didn’t defend his best friend the way he wanted to.

“So, we’re just here as pawns then?” Dave asked. He took a drink from his water, acting just as casual as if they were having lunch somewhere. “And then, what? He’s just going to let us go when this is done and over with? I find that rather hard to believe.”

“You’re not here to believe or not believe him. You’re here to do what you’re told. That’s all you need to worry about.” Goon One snapped out. “Now, quit talking and eat the damn food before I take it back and shoot your girl over there. No more talking.” The man seemed honestly angry now, not just cold. He glared hard at them all. “I told you he doesn’t want you guys dead. Just Doc over there.” Those hard, cold eyes moved to Spencer once more. “If it were up to me, I’d just kill you right the fuck now and be done with it. But Marcus has plans for you, Doc. Big plans. Doubt you’ll last through it all, though. How the hell did a little shit like you get into the FBI, anyways? You look like a teenager.”

Spencer gave him as dry a look as he could manage and continued to chew on his sandwich. He had a feeling he was rather safe at the moment. At least, as safe as could be trapped in a basement with insane Unsubs. But this was Marcus’s show. The goon squad wasn’t going to mess it up. He didn’t speak, though. None of them did. They didn’t want to risk the man shooting Penelope or taking their food away. As much as they hated it, the smartest thing to do at the moment was to play the game and try to gather information when they could.

It didn’t take them long to finish everything off. As soon as they were done, Goon One told them to put the bottles in the box and get against the wall again.

When they were all standing by the wall, Goon One pointed his gun at them. “Get the box.” He snapped at Eli. The younger man scurried forward and picked the box up, taking it out of the room. It was apparent that he was the submissive in this whole exchange. He followed orders like he was well used to it and without an ounce of hesitation. He could be their biggest asset in here if they could get him to turn on the others.

Eli came back in with a bucket in his hands. He walked over to where Spencer had thrown up earlier on the floor and poured the water over it, washing it all down the small drain against the one wall until there was nothing left. Then he took the bucket back out of the room.

Little tremors started to run through Spencer’s muscles. He gritted his teeth and tried to keep them under control. _You can do this. You’ve done it before, you can do it again._ He knew what was causing it. Withdrawals were settling into his body. _You’ve been down this road. You can handle it. You have to handle it. Just keep it under control._ But it was difficult to control it. Already he felt the mild muscle spasms and aches and the low grade nausea as well as a headache starting. The withdrawal wouldn’t be too bad, because it was only one dose that he’d had—that he knew of—but it had been so long and there was no telling how much they’d given him.

A sudden drew his attention back to the two at the door. Goon One was staring at him with a slightly sadistic enjoyment on his face. “I knew it.” He took a step forward, gun still at the ready, eyes fixed right on Spencer. The young doctor tried to keep his gaze steady even as he wondered what the hell the guy was talking about. He found out a second later. “You addicts are all the same. I found that shit in your place when I was waiting for you. Figured it’d be more fun to take you that way.” Laughing, the guy pushed Eli out of the room, heading out after him. Before the door shut, he called out “Sleep while you can, agents. You’ll want to be rested for the party tonight!” And then the door snapped shut once more.

Anger and self-loathing were burning a hole in Spencer’s stomach. He closed his eyes, trying to fight them back, trying to keep himself in control both physically and mentally. Now was not the time to break. Now was not the time to freak out. He swallowed the lump in his throat and started to speak before anyone could say anything about what the guy had just told them. “The smaller guy is one of the brothers. The second youngest. His name is Eli.”

There was silence for just a moment. Spencer felt Penelope’s hand slip into his once more and give him a comforting squeeze. Then Dave spoke up, allowing Spencer his momentary diversion. “He’s obviously the more submissive of the two. He follows orders easily and he looks almost uncomfortable with his gun.”

“We haven’t seen him before. Most likely he’s been the one that’s been with JJ while Marcus and the other one were down here.” Aaron added in.

“Goon One is enjoying this.” Spencer told them. He still had his eyes closed. “He’d colder than Marcus. Harder.”

Derek shifted beside him. “He’s a sociopath, I’d guess. The way he acts and reacts to things.” He paused and then his voice turned slightly teasing. “Did you just call him ‘Goon One’, Reid?”

The others snickered just a little when Spencer nodded. “I didn’t know their names. They looked like goons. So they were Goon One and Goon Two until I realized that Goon Two was Eli.”

“I’ve never heard you call them anything except Unsubs before.” Penelope teased.

Emily snickered but drew the conversation back to their profiling. “We might be able to use this Eli if he comes down here alone. He seems sympathetic to the rest of us. When I thanked them, he looked almost sad at the scared look I put on.”

“There’s a chance we could get him to help JJ, if not us. She might be working on him as well if she’s allowed to talk at all. She’s a capable woman; she knows what to do.” Dave said.

Opening his eyes, Spencer looked from one friend to the next. “The fact that they’re providing us with food and water is both a good thing and a bad thing.” He pointed out. “It means we have a better chance of survival. He wants to keep us all alive long enough to play out whatever game he wants to play. Goon One said he has plans for me. That implies that he’ll be keeping us alive for a little while. That also gives us more time to come up with a plan.” Unspoken was the thought they all shared—that Spencer would have to survive through these games.

It was the Unit Chief who pointed out the uncomfortable fact they all knew. “You resisting will make this last longer, Reid. He wants to break you. But if he’s not getting results from the game he plays, it’s very possible he’ll up the stakes to get some kind of response from you. He needs you to break for this to work. If it doesn’t, eventually he’ll become frustrated enough to stop the games altogether. Then, he’ll simply kill you.”

“I know.” Spencer said. Just those two words, but they were enough.

For a second the basement was quiet. Feeling the tremors and cramps trying to come back, Spencer let go of Penelope’s hand and started to move, to stretch his legs. When Emily stepped up beside him, he gave her a funny look. She smiled at him. “Stretching a little?” she asked. He nodded at her and she smiled once more and told him. “I’ll stretch with you.”  They both knew she was there to help him, worried about his injuries, but neither of them said it. He silently accepted the help and the two started to move around the room. Behind him, Spencer heard the conversation continue.

“We’re going to have to push Marcus a little if we want to learn anything from him.” Dave was telling the others.

“What?” Derek hissed. His voice was low and angry. “We push him and the kid’s going to have to pay for it.”

Having made it to the other side of the room and feeling just a little more stretched out, some of the cramps eased, Spencer and Emily started back over. He saw Aaron reach out and put a hand on Derek’s arm. “If we don’t, we’ll never find out anything, Morgan. You know this. Reid knows this.” Those sharp eyes looked over to moving duo. Seeing that look, Spencer nodded; a silent permission for what he knew had to be done. Sacrifices would have to be made. If they wanted information, they couldn’t just sit and wait for it. It might get him hurt in the end, but he was going to be hurt anyways.

As they reached the wall again, Aaron was gathering himself. Using his serious boss tone, he told the group “We should try and lie down and get some more rest before they come back in. We all need our strength.”

Slowly, the group settled down onto the ground once more. Dave stretched out against the wall, his legs stretched out in front of him. Beside him, Emily sat down. Derek mimicked Dave’s pose, but he pulled Penelope over to him, letting her use his lap as a pillow. It was a sign of the stress they all felt that neither made a sexual joke about that.

Spencer took a seat a little bit away from Derek, not quite wanting to be right by his friends at the moment. He was still fighting the physical symptoms of his withdrawal as well as the shame that sat in his gut. No one had said anything about the taunts Goon One had thrown at him, but it would only be a matter of time. Curling his knees up, he wrapped his arms around them, ignoring the ache this brought to his stomach. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Aaron sit down beside him and knew that his time was up.

What Aaron said wasn’t what Spencer had been expecting, though. The man gave him a serious look before quietly telling him “No one is judging you for what we’ve heard, Reid.”

His own answer was just as much of a surprise. “I judge me.” Pausing, Spencer looked down at his knees, realizing how true those words were. “I should have disposed of that a long time ago. I just couldn’t bring myself to break that last little tie. To get rid of it…it seemed like I was letting go of the last bit of control and safety. So long as it was hidden in my apartment, I knew that, no matter what, I at least had a small amount of control in my life. At one time that control was using. But with it there, I showed myself my control by not using. By resisting. I know it makes no sense.”

A hand rested on his arm. “It makes perfect sense, Reid.”

That was all the two said on the topic. Aaron’s hand stayed on his arm, firm and supportive, as Spencer tried to find sleep. That hand was a reminder to him that he wasn’t alone in this. No matter how he felt, he was not alone here.

CMCM

From her chair, JJ watched the monitor on the other side of the room. The young man was sitting there again, keeping an eye on the screens, watching for trouble. It brought tears to JJ’s eyes to see her team on that black and white screen. She pulled against the binding on her wrists and ankles, knowing that it was futile. She’d been trying to get free from this chair ever since she’d woken here. So far, it had been useless.

She had to blink rapidly to keep her tears from falling when she watched everyone settle against the wall. The way that Spencer sat away from the others broke her heart. She’d heard the men talking to the team when the door had been open. She’d heard their voices as well and had wished the tape was off her mouth so she could call out to them. Say something, anything. Did they know she was here? Did they know she was stuck watching and waiting? The watching was the worst. It had almost broken her heart when she’d watched as the Unsub had made Derek beat Spencer. She could only imagine how hard that had been for the two of them.

Now she watched as Aaron went and sat beside Spencer. The two were obviously talking. She saw the defensiveness in Spencer’s body language and she knew what her friend felt so ashamed of. How dare the bastard _drug_ him! Not only was he stuck in hell now, but he was in hell and fighting one of his biggest demons.

A tear spilled from the corner of one eye. _If only this was the worst he’ll have to deal with._ She thought to herself. But it wouldn’t be. Again she struggled, wishing she could break free. Wishing she could save them from what was to come. She’d heard the Unsubs talking. They’d discussed some of the things they planned on doing to break down the ‘Doc’ as they called Spencer. Another tear slid down. _I’m so sorry, guys. I’m so sorry, Spence. I’m sorry he’s doing this to you. I’m sorry he’s using us against you. You don’t deserve this. Just hold on, Spence! One of us will figure something out. I’ll find a way out of this if I can. I’m not giving up on you! Just hold on!_ She could only pray that he would.


	5. Chapter 5

Sitting awake against the wall, Spencer watched his teammates as they slept. His brain hadn’t allowed him to be asleep for too long. The craving to use was growing a little strong and a little stronger. It woke him from his sleep and left him sitting there, trying not to tremble. So, to focus on something, anything, to distract his brain, he looked at each member of the team. Derek and Penelope, still curled up together. Derek’s hand was lightly resting on Penelope’s hair where he’d been stroking it when they’d fallen asleep. Penelope’s hand was still holding on to Derek’s pants as if to make sure he wasn’t going anywhere. Those two were so close to one another.

It had been hard for Derek to do what he’d been ordered to do. Having Spencer’s permission had made it a little easier and seeing that his friend wasn’t scared of him afterwards had helped, but there would be emotional scars that would take some time to heal when he got out of here. Hell, for all of them. Spencer’s eyes drifted over Penelope’s peaceful face. In sleep, she looked so at peace. It was a total contrast to their hell. But that was one of the things that made her, her. Yes, this would be hardest on her. Even without having to hurt him, this would be very hard on her. She abhorred violence and she hated seeing people she loved be hurt. But time and time again she’d proven to everyone that there was a hidden core of steel inside of her. She would make it through this.

Dave…now he was a little hard to predict. He was angry with what was happening, yes. Like the others, he wouldn’t want to be forced to hurt Spencer either. But he was one of their most practical minded. Yeah, he might get a little emotional about things. But he’d been in the job long enough to be able to channel those emotions into his work and that was part of what made him such a damn good profiler. This would be difficult, but he wouldn’t break until it was over with. Then, he would most likely go home and drown himself in a bottle of something expensive, allowing it to lower his walls enough that he would grieve. But it would be done in private.

With her head on his shoulder, Emily still looked alert, even in sleep. Her body had that look that said she could wake in an instant if necessary. So many people looked at her and only saw a beautiful woman. They had no idea that she was intelligent, loyal, and tough as nails when the need called for it. It was most likely killing her not to be able to do anything but sit and watch. She was more the type to sit and plan and then execute that plan. She could be patient for the job, but not when it concerned those that she cared about. Able to compartmentalize more than some, she could keep her cool longer. But when that top finally blew on her emotions, it would blow hard.

Then there was Aaron. The team leader also looked as if he was sleeping on the edge, ready to be awake and alert as soon as there was a sign that his team needed him. If it came time for him to be the one to step up and hurt Spencer, he would do it and he would keep everything it made him feel locked down inside so that the Unsub wouldn’t ever get to see it. But, in that part of him that he hid his emotions, he would be full of anger and guilt and pain. He could take down an Unsub without a qualm. But hurt someone in his ‘family’? He would do it if necessary but the guilt would eat at him for a long time afterwards.

This group of misfits was the family that Spencer had always wanted. They were a unit. And this…this was going to make or break them. This could rip them all apart or it could cement their ties even stronger. Which would it be? He wished he was going to be around to see.

Footsteps came from outside the door just moments before it opened again. Just the sound of the door opening and it seemed like everyone was immediately awake. Six pairs of eyes locked on Marcus as he and Goon One came in the door. There was a smile on Marcus’s lips. One of true excitement. He was excited about what was to come. “I trust you all enjoyed your naps?” He said pleasantly. As if they weren’t lying on cold stone. As if this was some luxury vacation they were taking. “Are you ready for round two, Doctor?”

“Do I really get a choice in this?” Spencer asked him drolly. Time to slip back into a role. Time to play hard and aloof. Somehow, that shield helped still the tremors and the nausea. He put so much of himself into this outer shield that it pushed back everything else. “If I say I’m not, does that mean you’ll leave?”

Marcus smirked at him. “Of course not. This game is just too much…fun. On your feet. Now.” His gun pointed at the group, as did Goon One’s.

The entire team stood at the same time. Spencer made as if to step forward, knowing what he was going to be asked to do, but a sudden arm in front of him stopped him. He looked with surprise to find Aaron stopping him. The Unit Chief stood in front of Penelope, looking straight to Marcus. “And what if the rest of us decide that we’re gone playing this game?”

“I believe we’re the ones with the guns here, Agent Hotchner.” Marcus sneered at him. “You don’t really have a choice in this. Move out of the good doctor’s way.”

Dave stepped up as well, blocking Spencer. “No.” he said firmly. Spencer gaped at their backs. He’d known they’d try and push him, but not like this. Not this way! If they’d simply spoken, Spencer would have taken a few extra hits, but that would have been it. Didn’t they realize that this was going to put JJ in danger? She would be the one to pay if they refused to let Spencer out. “Guys.” He murmured softly. “Just move.” Firm, he tried to step forward. Derek moved to shelter Penelope as well and to grab Spencer, keeping him pinned against the wall beside Penelope. Even Emily had moved over to help shelter until both Spencer and Penelope were totally surrounded, kept against the wall.

Over their shoulders, Spencer could just barely see Marcus and Goon One. Neither one of them looked happy. Marcus lifted his gun hand and pointed it at them. “You’re going to get the hell out of my way right here and right now.” He ordered.

Aaron looked at him calmly. “And if I refuse?”

They were pushing Marcus, trying to see how he would react, trying to make him slip and make a mistake. When an Unsub is angry, they tend to make more mistakes. But people also tend to pay for it. Spencer started to struggle against Derek, trying to find a way to get free. His strong friend just used his body to pin him against the wall. “Calm down, Reid. Come on, kid. Calm down.”

“Are you guys trying to get JJ hurt?” Spencer hissed at them. He bucked against Derek’s hands again even as he knew it was futile. “Dammit, Morgan, let me go! I don’t give a damn if he hurts me. Don’t make him hurt her!”

Everything in Spencer went cold when he heard Marcus laugh. The man wasn’t angry looking anymore. He looked both amused and pleased. That had Spencer freezing. He could only watch as Marcus smiled at Aaron. “I wondered how long it would take a group of profilers to try and press my buttons. Make me angry. But I’m not angry, Agent Hotchner. I find it funny. You see, I was prepared for something like this.” He turned his head toward Goon One and nodded. When the man went through the door, Marcus smiled at the team again. “My…friend is going to bring you a present.”

“Friend?” Dave asked.

Marcus’s smile grew wider. “Yes, Agent Rossi. Friend. You can call him Noah, if you so wish. It’s one of the many names he uses.” And now, Goon One had a name.

Their conversation stopped when Noah came back in the room, dragging a bound JJ by her hair. It took every ounce of Spencer’s control not to start struggling once more. He absolutely ached to rush forward and take her from them. As it was, all he could do was watch as she was dropped at Marcus’s feet. “You like my present?” Marcus laughed. He looked down at her and smirked. “I know you figured it out, Dr. Reid. I know you would have found out about my mother. It seemed only right to take the woman who acts like yours, don’t you think?”

Spencer only had eyes for JJ. There was no blood on her, thank God. No bruising that Spencer could see either. She was dressed in blue jeans and a red t-shirt like he saw her often wear when she gardened. Her hands and feet were both bound and duct tape was over her mouth. Her wide eyes traveled over them all, so much calmer than one would have expected. Strong. She was silently telling them that she was ok and that she could handle this. Spencer felt a spurt of pride for this woman who was like a sister and a mother all rolled into one.

The smirk that Marcus wore was far too smug for Spencer’s liking. The man shifted his gun off of the group and down to JJ, pointing right at her head. “Let the doctor come forward or I blow the little mother’s brains all over the floor.”

There was no choice. Spencer met JJ’s eyes again for a brief second of time. In that look, the two spoke without saying a thing. He apologized for getting her into this mess; she let him know she was ok, that she could take it. He made his mask slip back into place; she nodded her understanding. Quietly Spencer stepped away from his friends and over to the center of the room. When he got there, he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his pants, one eyebrow rising as he looked at Marcus as if to say ‘what now?’

Noah bent, grabbing JJ’s arms and yanking her onto her feet. But he didn’t leave the room with her. No, they stood there, him holding her arms tight so she couldn’t move. So she was forced to look to where Spencer stood.

“Can we get on with this already?” Spencer kept his voice as bored as he could. It was almost easy to bring back that indifferent mask. Easier than he’d thought it would be. “Or is there more to this little melodrama that you’re playing here?”

For a second Marcus’s smile slipped. Then it was back, sharper than ever. Without warning he spun, the back of his hand making a large cracking sound as it connected with the side of JJ’s face. More than anything so far, that tested Spencer’s control. He had to fight inside to keep himself from shouting; from lunging forward and ripping her away from them as her head snapped sideways and her body jerked, only managing to stay up because Noah was holding her in place.

The others didn’t have that restraint. Penelope gave a sharp cry and there were masculine shouts behind him. Spencer didn’t look at the others, but he heard them moving. Heard Derek snap out “What the hell did you do that for? We listened to you! He did what you told him to!”

Marcus let his grin grow. “Ah, ah. Not at first, though. You all need to learn that I am serious. I will not tolerate disobedience. You are the ones that decided to push me. You tested your luck with this one. The pain she feels, that is on you. I suggest you do not try me again or she might have to suffer even more. You wouldn’t want your little mother here to hurt, would you?”

No one spoke. Pleased with that result, Marcus turned his smile to Spencer, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary. In that moment, Spencer saw that the man was truly insane. Beyond what they’d known. He was honestly, truly insane. It made the young doctor want to shiver, but he held his ground.

Marcus cocked his head to the side. “Odd. One would almost think you don’t care about the woman, Dr. Reid.”

It was strange how Marcus made a point of addressing him by his title. _Why does it seem like there’s something important in that? Why would he continually address me as Dr. Reid? I would’ve thought he’d want to lower me in his eyes by using my first name. Strip away my titles. But no, he’s using it constantly. Could it be that he wants to use my title as a way to mock me? To show that no matter how many titles I’ve earned, no matter what I’ve done, I’m still here and under his control?_ He wasn’t sure. For now, Spencer pushed the thought back. “Me being upset by the circumstances would do nothing to change it. I warned you, Marcus. I may be forced to play your game, but that doesn’t mean I am going to stand here and satisfy you by screaming and crying and pleading. Some of us have more backbone than that.” His last comment was a deliberate slap against Marcus.

Abruptly the smile that Marcus wore shifted to a scowl. He looked over Spencer’s shoulder at the group of friends. “You two—Agent Hotchner and Agent Rossi. You two will come play my game with me today. Now.” He snarled.

The two senior profilers moved forward cautiously. When they reached the middle of the room, Marcus shifted his gun to point at JJ again. His eyes stayed on the trio. “The rest of you, stay against the wall. No talking. No interfering. This part of the game is for these three. The rest of you will get your chance next.” Now that smile was back once more. That never boded well. “You two seemed to be the ones most set to push me. For that, you get the honor of helping me break your precious Dr. Reid. I imagine this is going to be fun. Agent Hotchner, I imagine you are the stronger, being younger than your Agent Rossi. I want you to stand behind Dr. Reid. Hold his arms behind him. You will act as the brace to keep him upright. I do not want him to hit the floor. Each time you drop him, I will hit your little mother here. Each time you argue, I will hit her. And then I will shoot your precious Garcia. Are we clear?”

“Crystal.” Aaron snapped.

Spencer drew himself up and put his arms behind him, waiting for Aaron to step up. When his boss did, Spencer felt strong arms thread under his, pinning his arms between Aaron’s and Aaron’s chest. The Unit Chief had a firm grip on him. Spencer knew he could trust his boss to keep him upright.

When ordered, the two turned sideways so that everyone would have a clear view of what was about to happen. Then Marcus gave one last smile and called out “Begin with the stomach, Agent Rossi. And do not pull your punches. I shall tell you when you’re done. Now, begin.”

As the first fist came flying, Spencer saw the apology in Dave’s eyes before he pulled as far into himself as he could, trying to ignore the pain that he knew was only just beginning.

CMCM

How she managed not to cry was something that JJ didn’t understand. But her eyes were dry as she stared at the curled up figure on the cold stone floor. _There’s blood. Too much blood_ she found herself thinking. Yet she couldn’t tear her eyes from Spencer. It physically hurt to look at him. To see what the insane man holding them had forced her friends to do to their youngest. And yet, at the same time, she felt an overwhelming sense of pride. Never once had Spencer cried out or screamed or even cried through the entire beating. He had hissed, gasped, and grit his teeth. But never once had anything else passed his lips. He had stood tall and proud for as long as he could manage. If Spencer would not cry, then neither would she.

When Marcus bent, fisting a hand in Spencer’s hair, JJ wished she was free so that she could knock that smug smile off the son of a bitch’s face. Somehow Spencer stayed silent, even as Marcus straightened, still holding Spencer’s hair. His gun turned toward the others. “Back against the wall, now.” He ordered them calmly. Once they were there, he smiled. “I think if I want our friend here to last longer than a day in our game, I’m going to have to clean him up. Don’t worry, I’ll return him to you.” Snickering, Marcus started toward the door, the gun still trained on the others, dragging Spencer along by his hair. The young doctor had his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth was a hard line, obviously trying to lock down all sound.

The man holding her jerked JJ toward the door as well, bringing her back to the room that had been her prison, shutting the other door behind him. But instead of being led back to the chair, she and Spencer were taken down a hall. When another door opened, JJ found herself thrust into a bathroom. Spencer was practically thrown in after her.

The scarier of the two goons—what was his name again? Norm? Noah? Noah!—reached out and untied her, leaving her finally free. He stepped out and let Marcus fill the doorway. The ever present gun was there, pointing down at Spencer. His eyes, however, were locked on her. She had to work not to shiver.

“You are going to clean him up.” Marcus informed her in a voice that had turned, if anything, practical. We will provide clean clothes. I want him showered and cleaned and then we will give you supplies to bandage him with. And, I assure you, there is nothing in here that you can use to attack us with, so do not attempt looking. The door will stay locked and, as you see, there are no windows out. You will be given fifteen minutes to clean him before the door will be unlocked and we will give you the supplies to bandage him. Then you will have ten minutes. After that, you will permit my friend to retie you and to escort Dr. Reid back to his other friends.” Pausing, he cocked his head at her and smiled. “And if you try anything, Miss JJ, keep in mind that your friends will pay the price. I will have one of my friends standing guard on them the entire time. The first sign of trouble and I will tell him to shoot your precious Garcia. In the leg, of course.”

JJ forced herself to be completely still, only moving her head in a tiny nod when it became apparent that he was waiting for an answer. Once she nodded, he backed out of the room and shut the door. The sound of the lock echoed around them.

Instantly JJ ripped the tape off of her mouth, almost gasping at the feel of it pulling on her lips. Even as she licked her lips—tasting blood from where the skin had split—she was dropping down to her knees on the ground. The ache that caused didn’t even register with her. “Spence!”

She watched as Spencer braced his hands on the ground, not quite pushing himself up yet. She thought that maybe he was gathering his strength to be able to move. So she said nothing and she waited; a part of her knew that he needed to do this. But when he started to move, her hands were there, helping him to sit up and lean against the wall. Looking at his face made her battle against her tears even harder.

Anyone who’s ever been hit in the nose can attest that it doesn’t ever look pretty. Spencer’s nose looked like a giant bruise, extending underneath each one of his eyes. There was a split to his bottom lip, and a bruise on one of his cheeks. And that was just what she could see at the moment. JJ felt queasy at the thought of what the rest of him must look like. “Oh, Spence.”

“I’m fine.” His words were steadier than she’d expected them to be. There was that iron control yet again that he’d continuously shown to Marcus. He blinked rapidly for a second before lifting warm eyes to her. “I am so sorry, JJ.” One of his hands came up, touching gently to the cheek that still felt warm from where she’d been slapped.

JJ brought her hand up, covering his. “I am too, Spence. I hate seeing you hurt like this.”

He gave her one of those shy smiles that always made her smile back at him. “I’m strong, JJ. I’ll make it through this.” Sighing, he laid his head back against the wall. “I should probably start the water for the shower. He’s meticulous enough to be back in fifteen minutes exactly.”

Just as he started to move, JJ put her hands on his shoulders, holding him gently in place. “Let me get it, Spence. That’s why he put me in here, to help you.” Though that made no sense to her. None of this made any sense at the moment. Why was he putting her in here with him? Why was he cleaning him up to begin with? And _bandages_? She’d heard Marcus talk; his plans were for Spencer to die.

“He doesn’t want me dying yet.”

As she turned one of the faucets, she looked over to Spencer. It was as if he’d read her mind. “Why?”

“He’s having you fix me up because he’s not ready for me to die yet. He needs me to stay alive to complete whatever else it is he has planned.” His eyes were closed, but he kept speaking. “The reason you’re in here with me is that he wants to work on me psychologically as well as physically. This is to mentally break me down. That’s why he had you help me instead of the others. Also, in his delusion, you are the mother figure. That means you’re required to care for your ‘children’. This is one of those duties.”

It almost made a sick sort of sense. That made JJ grimace as she adjusted the water a little more. Looking up, she realized there was no showerhead. This was just a bathtub. A small mat sat on the bottom of the tub, the kind you put over the hole instead of a plug. She moved that over and started to let the tub fill. “Well, we better get you in here? You need getting some of your clothes off?”

She hadn’t expected his reaction, though she realized she should have. It still amused her to watch his eyes open wide and red flood his cheeks. “You are not stripping me for a bath, Jennifer!” he exclaimed in embarrassment.

Unable to resist, JJ let out a small giggle. “Spence, you don’t have anything I haven’t seen before and trust me, bruised and bloody is not a turn on for me. You’ve had the crap beat out of you, so shut up and let me help you.”

“I can get into the tub on my own, thank you.” He told her stiffly. His cheeks were still red.

JJ knew they didn’t have time to waste, so she sighed and rose, moving to stand facing the door. “If I hear anything that sounds like you aren’t going to make it on your own, I’m turning around and helping you, modesty be damned, Spencer Reid.”

She could hear his flustered grumbles and then the sound of clothes being removed. _Leave it to Spence to actually sit there and get flustered about stripping in front of me in a situation like this. Oh, well, he wouldn’t be Spence if he didn’t. Too shy and too much of a gentleman. He’s too sweet. Far too sweet for something like this to happen to him._

When she heard him start to move, she listened more intently, ready to rush and help as she’d promised. But it seemed he got into the tub ok. There was the sound of him sliding into the water and then a soft sigh before the water was turned off. “Can I turn back around now, Spence? Standing by the door is rather boring. I promise, I won’t look at your delicate parts.”

“Can’t you just stay there like a good girl?”

“Nope.” Chuckling, she turned back around. The teasing felt good. It was doing the both of them good, she could tell. Not just her, but it was bolstering Spencer’s morale as well. She tried to hold back her amusement when she saw how red Spencer looked when she turned to face him again. Taking pity on him, she sat down on the floor, putting her back to the wall. It allowed her to look at him, but she could only see from about chest and up. He sensed that and relaxed a little, even if his blush did stay.

Before JJ could say anything, Spencer spoke quickly, his eyes averted. “JJ? Can…can you do me a favor?”

That nervous, slightly shaky tone was more typical for her friend than the cold, calmness he’d exuded earlier. She reacted instinctively to it. “Whatever you need, honey.”

“Can we, well, not talk about this? For just a little bit, I just…I need to hear something positive.” His eyes closed and his voice cracked. “I need something to help me hold on. Can you…can you just, I don’t know, can you talk about Henry? Tell me how he’s doing. Anything, please.”

Tears pricked the corners of JJ’s eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, I can.” She choked out. Bringing her knees up, she folded her arms on them and brought herself back under control. Then, she smiled at him and started to tell him the latest stories of her son—his Godson.

Those stories took them through the bath, making something that could have been an ordeal into something much easier. When he was done, she closed her eyes and held a towel out to him, letting him take it and wrap it around himself before he stepped out. At JJ’s urging, Spencer also took advantage of the moment to do something rather important. JJ turned into the corner and closed her eyes, covering her ears so that her friend had the privacy to relieve himself. When he was done, she took her turn, with him in the corner this time. Once that was taken care of and the toilet flushed, their hands washed, she closed the toilet lid and sat him down on it. Just as she did, the door unlocked before opening.

Noah stood there, smirking at them. “Toss out his nasty clothes.” He ordered, gesturing with the gun in his hand. JJ shifted, gathering up the bloody clothes and throwing them out. She shifted herself as she stood, placing her body instinctively between Spencer and the threat. That only made Noah smile more. He gestured to someone outside the room and Eli came in, dropping an armful of supplies and clothes into the sink before scurrying out.

“Ten minutes.” Noah reminded them. Then he was gone and the door was locked once more.

JJ hurried to look through what they’d given her. Three different ace wraps, some cotton swabs, and a bit of gauze and bandaging. She had no idea what that was for. He’d only been hit. Why would he need gauze? She held it up, turning to look at him. The sight of them made Spencer nod. “My left wrist.” He held it out, showing her what she hadn’t noticed under the bruising from the manacles. The skin there was split slightly, most likely from hanging there before. Who knew how long they’d been hanging up there?

She started to work, putting the gauze on his wrist and then wrapping it with the bandaging. Spencer looked down at her and suddenly started to whisper. “Eli is the submissive in this relationship, JJ. We’ll try from our side, but if you get the chance we need you to try from your side as well to get him to break. He’s nervous about this already. Uncomfortable. It shouldn’t take much to drive a wedge in there. If we can get him to help you escape, the rest of us can get free.”

The thought of just leaving them there was painful, but she could see the logic in it. With her there, they had nothing they could do that wouldn’t put her at risk. If she was gone, they could rush the men as they came in and maybe end up free. “I’ll try. He fed me, earlier. The next time I eat I’ll try to see what I can do.” Taking an ace wrap, she looked him over, debating what to do. His ribs were obviously bruised, as was one ankle. He smiled at her. “Left ankle. The other one we’ll bind my ribs with. Not the best, but it’ll be semi effective in this environment.”

She shook her head and moved to wrapping his ankle. If this was all she could do for him, she would do it. “Spence…” Trailing off, she swallowed the lump in his throat. “He has more planned for you than just this. He keeps talking about other games and things that he wants to do and other plans. No real details, but they don’t sound good.”

“I figured as much.” His face went tight when she finished her wrap. But he was steady as he rose, letting her wrap his ribs. The calm façade was back. “I’ll make it, JJ. I’m going to get you guys out of here.”

“We’ve only been here a day, Spence! How much longer can you stand something like this? He’s going to make our friends kill you!”

Smiling, Spencer brought a hand up to run over her hair. “I’ll make it.”

Those calm words left nothing more for her to say. She finished bandaging him and helped him with his shirt, though he insisted on doing his pants on his own. Once he was dressed, he reached out, bringing her in for a hug. She couldn’t help it; she clung to him. When they heard the sound of the lock, they pulled apart, staring at the door. “Be strong.” He whispered to her just before the door opened. Straightening her spine, JJ promised herself that she would be as strong as she needed to be.

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Spencer followed the directions he was given, coming out to the main room. His eyes darted around him, profiling the room he was in, unable to resist. It looked like another part of a basement. There were no windows here. His eyes went to the wall with the door, looking at the structure. _It looks like the wall was added to section this little area off. To the left is the staircase leading back upstairs. So we’re all contained in the basement, they’ve just made part of it their base of operations. He’s put quite a bit of thought into this_.

He was led to a table in the middle of the room. Off to one side was a monitor that showed the feed from the basement. He heard nothing, though he saw them talking. That either meant there really were no microphones or they were hidden. He still believed there were none.

As he took the seat that was pointed out to him, he watched as Noah took JJ to a chair and bound her to it once more. She didn’t fight him. Her eyes were calm as Noah put another strip of tape over her mouth. Once that was done, he took up post by her, gun resting casually in his hand.

Marcus took the seat across from Spencer. “You know, Dr. Reid, I have to admit. You do fascinate me.” The man said in a friendly sort of way. When Spencer said nothing, Marcus grinned. “I do believe you have more spirit than I gave you credit for. Your body will give out long before your spirit does if we keep this up. And there’s no fun in my games if I can’t break you.”

“I’m terribly sorry.” Spencer said in a bored voice. “Is this supposed to bother me? I do recall warning you that I won’t break for you.”

“Oh, but you see, I think you will. But, I’m not here to debate that. I’m here to explain to you the rules of the new game we are going to play. I want you to listen carefully, now.” Settling back in his chair, Marcus’s grin turned sharper; it changed to the grin of a predator. “I have a proposition for you. I told you before, your team, your family, they mean nothing to me. They’ve done nothing wrong. I’m willing to let one of them go tomorrow night. Twenty four hours from now.”

That instantly put Spencer on the defensive. “And the catch?” He asked coldly. _Don’t give up the façade right now. Find out what the catch is. There has to be a catch. He can’t really mean to let someone go! They could come and find him and end this!_

“Three things, Dr. Reid. Number one, you are not allowed to tell your team about this deal. Do you accept this condition?”

“What are the other two?”

“Do you accept?” Marcus asked again in a harder voice.

Looking evil in the eyes, Spencer nodded. “I accept that condition.”

The anger was gone and Marcus was smiling again. “Good. Number two, you will not fight or argue with me over the next twenty four hours. You are to be on your best behavior. No taunts, no sass, no arguing, nothing. And you will not assist them in their profiling of me, even if they say something that is wrong. I do know you are all profiling me; it’s what you do. Do you accept?”

This time Spencer didn’t bother asking the other condition. He knew that Marcus wouldn’t tell him. Rolling this condition over in his mind, Spencer already knew his answer. He would do anything to get a teammate free. “I accept.”

“Number three, we will discuss at the time of release.” Marcus stood abruptly. “Follow those two rules and I will allow you to choose one member of your team tomorrow night to be set free, alive. I promise they will be alive. Break those rules and everything is off the table. Starting right now.”

That last part was added so that Spencer couldn’t demand answers on condition three without violating condition two. He cursed mentally but said nothing. He was committed to this. If he could get a team member free, their chances of survival would increase. _But why is he setting them free?_ He wondered to himself. Even as he thought it, part of the answer came to him. _Part of it is hope. He wants to give you false hope, which means he’s confident that he can’t be found even with someone free. He wants you to hang on to hope because when he takes that hope from you, he knows it would break a person. But I won’t allow myself to hope for me. I only hope to save as much of my team as I can._ Whatever other reason he had, Spencer had a feeling he would find out in twenty four hours.

He kept his chin up and his mouth closed as Marcus gestured him back toward the basement. His secret close to his heart, Spencer looked at his friends as he walked in, wondering how on earth he would decide who would go home.


	6. Chapter 6

The night passed long and full of broken sleep for most of the members of the team. None of them could quite get comfortable enough to be able to sleep for more than bursts here and there. Spencer lay curled on his side, his hands pillowing his head, pretending sleep. He couldn’t make his brain stop running long enough to get any real sleep. Even though he knew he needed to sleep—he would most assuredly need his sleep for whatever was to come—he couldn’t stop thinking about his conversation with Marcus and what would come from it. As he’d promised, he hadn’t told his team that they’d talked. He’d simply told them that Marcus had taken him and JJ to the bathroom and had forced JJ to clean him up. While the others had speculated the reason why, Spencer had used his battered body as an excuse to lie down and stay out of the conversation.

Penelope had sat beside him, stroking a hand through his hair, soothing him more than she probably realized. If he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend that he wasn’t in this hell. That he was a kid again and his mother was having one of her lucid moments, soothing him down from a nightmare. That fantasy had let him drift off into his first fitful sleep of the night. He didn’t notice the others growing quiet, all of them watching him with eyes gone sad. He was asleep by the time Penelope bent down and kissed his temple. She kept up the stroking until she, too, fell asleep.

But hours had gone by now and Spencer was once again awake, thinking about what he was going to do. What would Marcus make him do? What would he require of Spencer? And, most important of all, who would Spencer choose to set free? That was the main question.

His heart wanted to set Penelope free. This was so hard for her and the sooner he could get her out of here, the better. But for the sake of their survival, Penelope was not the best choice. She was a technical analyst. She wasn’t trained to look for details and build profiles and catch criminals. There were other analysts at the Bureau that could be used by whoever he chose to go free. And Marcus wouldn’t let Penelope go, most likely. She was one of his bits of leverage, as was JJ.

That left Derek, Aaron, Dave and Emily. The two senior profilers would be good choices; they were both smart and strong and would have quite a bit to contribute to any team that they put together to try and rescue their friends.

But, there was a chance that Marcus might—maybe, he didn’t know, but maybe—hurt one of the team in an effort to hurt Spencer. The young doctor hadn’t discounted that idea yet. Marcus may say he held no grudge against the team and Spencer honestly believed he didn’t. But if he thought it would help to break him….Spencer couldn’t discount the idea that Marcus would hurt them to achieve his goals.

All four of Spencer’s choices were good profilers and would be an asset to helping find them. But in his heart, he knew that, out of those four, there was one that would hurt him the most to see hurt. Yes, that was a little selfish, but it was practical as well. If he took out one of the ones that would help break him the most, he was helping himself survive longer, which helped his friends survive longer. The more he thought about it, the more he knew that his choice was right. It was the smartest choice. He’d analyzed all the different variables and it was the only one that seemed to guarantee the best outcome.

Once he’d made that decision, his mind allowed him to finally drift back to sleep. There he stayed until the sound of the door opening woke him once more. Spencer’s eyes instantly shot open—he was become quite adept at waking at the drop of a dime—and he forced himself to sit up, no matter how much it ached to do so. It was time for the games to begin.

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Spencer had been so sure that Marcus would take advantage of their deal and taunt Spencer through the whole day. Yet, when the doors had opened, it had only been Eli and Noah with their afternoon meal. Spencer hadn’t realized that they’d slept almost the entire night and morning away. Much more time had passed than he’d realized. When they’d brought the food in, they’d ordered everyone to remain silent the whole time or they threatened to shoot Penelope. That was enough motivation for them to keep quiet.

Then, once the food was gone, the men had left them alone. As more time passed, Spencer grew more and more nervous. How long passed, he had no idea. But he found himself growing jumpy, ignoring the others, watching the door and waiting for Marcus to come. At some point he realized that this was probably part of the plan; get him so on edge and jumpy that whatever finally happened would be that much harder to deal with. But knowing didn’t help make the nerves any easier.

After even more time passed, during which the team either spoke casually, profiled, or slept, Marcus finally came through the door, a huge smile on his face. He wasted no time. “It’s time to play today’s game.” He strolled forward as if he hadn’t a single care in the world, stopping in the middle of the room and waiting as the team rose to their feet. His hard eyes locked on to Spencer, who stared silently back. _Keep quiet. Remember his rules and keep quiet_. “Here is my question for you, Dr. Reid. I want you to pick one person on this team to spend some personal time with Noah over here.” Marcus gestured to Noah, who stood grinning in the doorway. “One person for Noah to do whatever he wishes with. My question to you…who is it going to be?”

Nausea churned in Spencer’s stomach. Oh, God. He tried to keep his tone neutral so that it wouldn’t be considered sassing or arguing. He had to follow the rules. “Can I have a second to think?”

Marcus raised one eyebrow. “But of course.”

With a little dip of his head, Spencer closed his eyes and thought hard and fast. He couldn’t condemn anyone on the team to spend time with Noah. The man was most obviously the sickest of the group. Whatever he did would be painful; of that, Spencer was sure. He couldn’t pick one of his friends to live through something like that. Then, his mind seemed to freeze on one thing. _Marcus said to pick ‘one person on this team’. He didn’t specify any other requirements. Let’s hope this works._ His chin lifted slightly as his eyes opened. “I’m ready.”

“What is your choice, then?”

“I choose myself.”

That was something almost akin to pride in Marcus’s eyes. It was quickly washed away by a sick sense of humor. “I thought you might.” He chuckled.

The others were all staring at Spencer with confusion and, on Aaron and Dave’s faces, speculation, but Spencer kept his back straight. He ignored Derek, who stepped toward him and put his hand on his arm. “Pick me, Reid. I can take this, trust me. Tell them to take me.” His best friend urged. Spencer ignored him. He shrugged away from Derek’s hand and took a step forward. “What do I need to do?” His tone was calm and, even though it took a lot of effort, he kept any sarcasm or boredom from it. _Just neutral. Nothing he can construe as arguing or sassing. Just…keep it neutral. Do not be afraid. You can do this. Do not be afraid._

Marcus raised his gun and gestured to the room. “Dr. Reid, I want you at the set of shackles nearest the door. The rest of you, I don’t care which ones you choose, but pick a set and let Dr. Reid shackle your hands.” When they didn’t move fast enough, his face grew hard and the gun shifted to Penelope. “Now.”

The room was silent as the others picked their shackles. It didn’t surprise Spencer to see Derek take the set that would be right next to where Spencer was going to be. Even if he couldn’t take this on for his friend, he was going to do everything he could to be close and to help his little brother.

Spencer moved to Aaron, who had placed himself on the other end, which would give him a clear view straight to Spencer. The young doctor lifted his hands, putting the restraints around Aaron’s wrists. “I’m sorry.” He whispered so softly he wasn’t sure Aaron heard him. But to reach, he had stretched close, putting him near Aaron’s ear.

Behind him, Marcus was turning to speak to Noah. Aaron took advantage of the moment to turn his head and whisper back “I know there’s something going on here. I trust you to know what you’re doing.”

Those words meant more to Spencer than anything else. He clicked the shackles closed and whispered a broken “Thank you.” Before he moved on to Dave, who was next in line. Now that Marcus was watching the room again, Spencer didn’t dare say anything, but he and each teammate shared a look as he hooked them in. They all looked at him with such strength and support that he felt it filling him up on the inside. He could do this. He would do this.

Once they were all in place, he moved to his own shackles, pressing his back to the wall and lifting his wrists. But Marcus smirked at him. “Turn around.”

The order confused Spencer. He wanted to say something, ask something, but he reminded himself of the rules. _You’re doing this for a reason. There is a goal at the end of this. Don’t mess it up. Do what you’re told. Whatever it is, you can take it. You are strong enough for this. They trust you. Everyone trusts you to do what is right._ Gritting his teeth, Spencer turned, face to the wall, and let Marcus shackle his hands.

“And now, Dr. Reid, let the games begin.” Marcus snickered.

Spencer had no idea what was going on behind him. He tried to turn his face, but all he saw was Noah walking toward him, arms behind his back. _God, God. Strong, Spencer! Strong. You can do this!_ But when he heard the gasps from the others, that strength faltered.

All of a sudden he heard Derek’s fierce voice calling his name. He twisted his head, letting his cheek rest against the wall so that he could look over at Derek through a curtain of hair. “Reid, I want you to look at me, do you hear me? Look right at me.” Derek told him firmly. His eyes were bright and they held Spencer’s gaze. It took everything Spencer had not to tremble. Whatever was going to happen was bad. He could see that in Derek’s eyes. “That’s it, Reid. Just keep looking at me, man. I’m right here with you. I’m here.”

“Oh, I think this’ll make this even better.” Marcus chortled from somewhere on the other side of the room. “Yes, Agent Morgan. Keep talking to him. I think it’ll make the show more amusing. Go ahead, Noah. Have your fun.”

Noah’s voice was full of glee. “This is going to hurt. A lot. Feel free to scream.” He sounded excited by the prospect. _Definitely a sadist; he enjoys others pain_. Then all conscious thought fled Spencer’s mind when he heard a whistling sound just seconds before fire exploded over his back. His body jerked hard, instinctively seeking to get away from the attack against it. He barely had time to think past the first before another hit him. _He’s whipping me. He’s actually whipping me!_

“Reid! Reid, man! Spencer!” It was his first name that made him look at Derek again. He hadn’t even realized he’d closed his eyes. Another lash came down and Spencer had to bite his lip and clench his fists to keep from screaming. “Look at me, Spencer. Come on, that’s it. Just look right here at me. I’m here with you, man. You’re not alone. I’m right here with you.”

Derek’s words were almost like a lifeline for Spencer to hold on to. As the pain grew more and more, he couldn’t keep himself from gasping or whimpering. His body jerked whether he wanted it to or not. But all the while, Derek’s voice was there, his eyes steady on Spencer’s.

Every inch of Spencer’s back felt like it was on fire. He could feel the blood dripping down his back in little rivers. His head felt hazy enough that he couldn’t think anymore. Could only focus on Derek’s voice and the whistle of the whip before it hit him again and again and again. One strike caught across others, making Spencer arch and throw his head back, a high shriek ripped unwillingly past his lips. After that, he locked his jaw, the shrieks that wanted to break free coming out as high little whines. Still, Derek kept talking until finally, Spencer’s body couldn’t take it. The darkness dragged him under with a final flash of pain.

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The first thing that Spencer saw when his eyes opened once more was Derek. The instant his eyes opened, blinking a few times before focusing on Derek, he saw relief cross his friend’s face. “Welcome back, man.” Derek said gruffly. Emotion was thick in his voice.

Spencer tried to smile at him and failed. “Thanks.”

“Yes, welcome back.” Marcus said scathingly. There was the sound of footsteps and then he was on Spencer’s other side. The young man made his head turn, hissing as that motion pulled on his back. As he became more conscious, the pain was roaring to the front of his mind. But he made himself turn his head enough that he could look at Marcus. He didn’t trust the man that close without being able to see him.

Marcus put his shoulder against the wall near Spencer’s arm, leaning casually there. “That was quite impressive, Dr. Reid. I think you’ve got to be the quietest one yet.”

“Thank you.” Spencer gasped out. He tasted blood in his mouth from where he’d bit his tongue. Biting comments rested on his lips, just barely restrained. He would make it twenty-four hours. He would make it. How much time did he have left? It felt like he was losing all sense of time down here. No windows with no natural light to judge time by. No clocks. And when he was in pain, it was difficult to think of things like how much time was passing. Time seemed to just run together. Not to mention that he had no idea how long he’d been unconscious. But with all the time they’d been made to wait, shouldn’t his time almost be up? Or did it only seem so long because he’d been waiting?

Chuckling, Marcus ran the muzzle of his gun down Spencer’s arm, over his shoulder and down his side. All the while he smiled at him. “You’ve made if twenty four hours, Dr. Reid. My associates didn’t think that you would, but I knew better. I knew you were too stubborn to fail at this. You’re such a bleeding heart. You’d do anything to make sure I maintained this deal, wouldn’t you?” Another chuckle, with an edge of sick pleasure to it. Spencer closed his eyes and tried to keep his control.

Marcus stepped back and looked at the others that were still chained up. “Pick one.” He said in a voice gone hard. Spencer turned his head, resting his forehead against the cool stone wall, praying the others would understand and forgive him for keeping this quiet and for who he chose. But, he had to think of the team, not of individuals. He had to think of what was best for them all. That didn’t make it any easier for him, though. Closing his eyes, he spoke in as clear a voice as he could manage. “Emily.”

“Noah.” Marcus called. There were the sounds of chains rattling and the others were shaking their chains. Derek in particular was thrashing around, calling out “What the hell are you doing? Don’t touch her!” and then someone was at Spencer’s shackles, releasing them so abruptly that he almost dropped straight down to the ground. Strong hands caught him before he could drop. Then those hands were dragging him and Spencer found he couldn’t get his legs underneath him. All he could do was let his weight rest in the two hands that had just hurt him and were now dragging him away from his friends. The last thing he saw of the room was all his friends thrashing in their shackles, calling out to him, and then the door was shut.

Spencer found himself almost tossed into a chair. Holding back the scream that ached against his lips, he grabbed the back of the chair and managed to turn it so that he could straddle it, leaving his back exposed to the open air. He still hurt, but it felt better than if he’d been forced to sit in the chair properly. He took a moment to breathe, forcing himself to stay in control, to keep himself from passing out. Then he lifted his eyes and looked across the table to where Emily sat, staring at him with eyes that showed how worried she was for him. Off to the side, JJ was struggling against her bonds, staring at the two of them with wide eyes.

Another chair was pulled over. Marcus sat in it, smiling between the two of them. Noah stood behind Emily, a gun pointed at her head.

“Well, Dr. Reid.” Marcus said suddenly. “You’ve done admirably well. You held up your end of the bargain. Now it’s time for me to hold up my end. Your twenty four hours are complete.”

Struggling to think around the pain, Spencer looked over to his captor. “What’s the final condition?” He asked in a thick voice. If Marcus had thought he’d forget about that, he had another thing coming. Spencer knew there was one more condition before Emily would be set free. He needed to know what it was, now. His words made Emily look at him with confusion for just a second and then comprehension. She had realized that Spencer had made a deal.

Marcus reached down to a bag that was on the floor and pulled something out of it. When he set it on the table, Spencer’s blood ran cold. There was a syringe and a tourniquet. Spencer swallowed. There was already a dose inside the syringe. The amount of it made him shudder. _That’s enough to kill me. Or her._ He grimaced as that thought hit him.

“I thought I might make this a little more fun for the both of us. Don’t you think it’s only fair that your friends be introduced to the one thing that holds more control over you than anything else in your life?” Laughing, Marcus sat back in his chair. “I want you to inject her with this. Then she’s free to go.”

“The dose is too strong. It’ll kill her!” Spencer said quickly. It was too much! How was releasing her to this, to a drug induced death—how was that setting her free? “You said one would be set free alive. This would kill her in minutes.”

The smile Marcus wore didn’t change in the slightly. “What you do here is up to you, Dr. Reid. The entire syringe must be empty before we take your friend away. I’m sure someone with your brain power will figure out a solution to this.”

And he did. Quickly. The instant Marcus said the words, Spencer understood what was going on. He knew what Marcus was going to make him do. Looking at the dose, Spencer ran mental calculations, his brain suddenly feeling so much more alert. His body practically tingled in anticipation.

It was possible. The mental numbers he built said that it was possible. He tried to think on how best to do this, erring on the side of caution. Then he lifted his eyes to Emily. “I need your arm.” He says to her. She let her eyes lock on his for a long second before bringing her arm up to the table. Spencer leaned across, trying to ignore the renewed pain in his back. He picked up the tourniquet and tied it expertly on her arm. Once that was done he picked up the syringe in hands that were suddenly steadier than ever. It had always been that way for him.

He lifted it up, tapping the side, pushing the single air bubble out. Then he brought the needle to the crook of Emily’s elbow. He hesitated, not wanting to push this into her skin. He swore he heard Tobias in his head. _“Tell me it doesn’t make it better.”_ Then Emily’s voice, soft and sure. “I trust you. Do it.” His eyes found hers once more. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. Then he pressed the plunger, giving her a small portion of the dose. Enough to drug her, but not enough to kill her. He stopped pushing and pulled it back.

Emily’s eyes were dazed as the drug filled her system. She was trying to watch him as he took the tourniquet, bringing it over to his own arm. The motions came easy to Spencer; something that he hadn’t done in so long but would never forget how to do. He prepped the syringe once more. Then, refusing to look at anyone, he dropped his gaze to his arm, to all the old track marks. Half of him said that he was only doing this because he had to. The other half was screaming for it, demanding it, reveling in the promise of release.

Without any more hesitation, Spencer slid the needle into his vein and pressed the plunger, bringing sweet release. Soon, the pain in his back would be nothing. Soon, none of this would matter, at least for a little while. He’d be free. He felt it fill him, taking away any doubts or fears. He barely remembered to pull the needle out when he was done before he slumped forward on his chair, a small smile on his lips. For now, nothing mattered. He was free. He heard nothing as Eli came forward and took Emily from the room.


	7. Chapter 7

“Jesus!”

Derek wasn’t sure if he was the one that said that or if it came from someone else. But the sight of Spencer stumbling back into their prison shocked them all. The young man seemed like he could barely move. Marcus stood at the door, smirking as he watched Spencer stumble in. There was a dazed look on Spencer’s face that made Derek’s stomach sink. He knew that look on his friend. Even as his eyes drifted to the crook of Spencer’s arm, he knew what he’d find. Sure enough, there was the fresh mark. Growling, Derek fought against his shackles. “You son of a bitch” he snarled out.

Chuckling, Marcus looked at him, his gun held casually in his hand. “Ah, ah, Agent. Play nice, now, or I won’t unhook you.” He taunted.

“Where is Prentiss?” Aaron asked calmly. He kept his voice nice in response to Marcus’s order.

The bastard grinned at them all. “Dr. Reid will answer that for you, once he’s able. I’ll let him explain everything, don’t you worry. Suffice it to say that she’s alive and well. She’s doing better than all of you, really.” His hard eyes shifted to Spencer, who was standing and staring off into space with a goofy little grin on his face. “As, I dare say, is Dr. Reid.”

As he moved forward Marcus kept his gun in his hands. He walked to Aaron, unhooking his shackles, keeping his gun pointed to Penelope. Then he handed Aaron the keys and stepped back. “Unhook your friends and then toss the keys to the door.” He ordered. Calm, Aaron did as he was told. When he unhooked Derek, he felt the tenseness in the man. “Not now.” Was all he said, but it was enough to remind Derek that now was not the time to get pissed.

Once he was free, Derek moved quickly to Spencer, ignoring it as Aaron tossed the keys toward the door. A look at his friend’s back had Derek wanting to curse and break something.

“Get against the wall.” Marcus ordered.

The team instantly converged on Spencer. “Get him over to the wall.” Aaron ordered them. Derek and Dave each took one of Spencer’s hands, guiding him forward. The kid barely even flinched or looked at them. It was like he was asleep without actually being asleep. _Shit, the kid is so fucking high. How much did that bastard give him? And where the hell is Prentiss?_ Derek hated not having the answers to his questions.

It didn’t take them long to get Spencer over to the back wall. He was so easy to move and manipulate into the right position. But when they turned him a little, it exposed his back to view and the entire room went silent for one long moment. The sight of the Spencer’s shirt, torn and bloody, the blood down the back of Spencer’s pants, was sickening. Worse was knowing what they would find underneath. For now the shirt and the blood blocked actual sight of the injuries. But not for long. They’d need to clean them as best as possible.

Dave turned to say something to Marcus, but Aaron had already thrown the keys and Marcus was sticking his head out of the room. He shouted something before leaning back in and smiling at them all. Then Noah was there, carrying a pail in each hand. He took the two, setting them against the far wall. Then he left once again, coming back with two more pails that seemed full. Those he set in the center of the room. Beside them, he tossed down what looked like a pile of cloth. Lifting his head, he smirked over at Spencer. “Enjoy your little freak over there.” He told the rest of them. “You might want to clean him up. Trust me; he won’t feel it right now.”

“How much did you give him?” Derek snarled at them. His hand stayed on Spencer’s arm protectively as his muscles practically quivered to go over and pound both Noah and Marcus into the ground.

As Noah moved back to the door, he started to laugh. Even Marcus was snickering. “ _We_ didn’t give him anything.” Marcus chortled. “He did it all himself. He even chose the dosage size.” The chortle grew into a full blown laugh. Without another word, the two men left the room, slamming the door shut behind them. But their words still seemed to echo around them, taunting them all.

Eventually reality seeped back in for them. “We need to get his shirt off.” Dave said hoarsely as he looked at Spencer. His usually tough and calm voice was hoarse with suppressed emotion.

Derek found himself looking at the buckets. “What the hell are these for?”

Stepping toward the ones in the middle of the room, Aaron looked at them before looking to the far wall. “My guess would be that those two empties are to act as our bathroom. These two are full of water. I think it’s safe to assume that they want us to be able to clean him up. So far, their actions indicate that they want him in good health for as long as possible.” He said in a flat voice.

“To prolong their game.” Dave added in.

That just made Derek’s anger grow. It wasn’t enough that they were torturing the kid; they had to do everything possible to prolong it. His free hand curled into a fist even as his other hand stroked over Spencer’s arm. This whole time, Spencer had just stood there, looking like was almost asleep on his feet. His eyes were at half mast, seeing things none of them could see, and his mouth hung open just slightly. It looked like he was asleep and yet awake at the same time. Watching him, Derek felt some of his anger drain away on a wave of concern. “At least he’s not hallucinating.” He mumbled to no one in general. “Tobias cut the shit with a psychedelic. Doesn’t look like these guys have.”

Dave gave him a strange look. “Who’s Tobias?”

That made Derek startle. Instinctively his eyes sought out Aaron, who shook his head. No one had ever told Dave? _I never even thought of it. Reid was done with this shit by the time Dave came around._

“We can get into that later.” Penelope interrupted them. “Right now there are more important things to do.” Though tears shone in her eyes, her look was protective as she moved to Spencer. Carefully she reached for the bottom of his shirt, ignoring the blood there as she started to pull it up. The others silently helped her, lifting Spencer’s arms and helping bring the shirt up and over his head. When the material stuck in some of the cuts, each one of them flinched, mentally thanking God that Spencer was drugged enough not to feel this.

“We’ll need to wash the blood off to look at things.” Aaron said. He took a deep breath and yet again took charge. “Move him over to the grate in the floor. We’ll rinse him off there so it goes down the drain. Let’s try to move quickly and efficiently so we can get as much done as possible before he becomes….aware again.”

Silence surrounded them. By tact agreement, no one spoke nor looked at Spencer’s back yet. They worked on getting their zombie like friend over to where the drain in the floor was at. Then they helped him to lie down. Derek sat down as well, bringing Spencer’s head to rest in his lap. He’d helped his little brother as best he could through the pain of the whipping—God, that had broken his heart, watching those oh-so-expressive eyes—and he would be here to help his friend now in case whatever they did worked through the drug haze.

“God, look at him.” Dave murmured. His eyes were trained on Spencer’s back. Even through the blood, they could see the cuts into his skin. “He can’t take much more of this before it kills him. I don’t know how he’s managed to hold out as long as he has. And it’s only been a couple days!”

“He’s stronger than anyone has ever given him credit for.” Penelope said in a gentle voice. She stroked a strand of hair back from Spencer’s dazed looking face. The young man’s eyes had closed so that he really looked to be sleeping this time. She couldn’t stop herself from making sure that he was still breathing.

Aaron had moved away from them, grabbing one of the pails of water and the bundle of cloth. Those he brought to rest right beside them. Then he knelt down beside him. “I need one of you to pour small amounts of water on at a time for me.” His voice was that of the Unit Chief now; giving orders and expecting them to be obeyed. “Just cup your hands and pour some on. I’ll use some of this cloth to wipe him down. We want to conserve as much water as possible.”

As Penelope moved the bucket with her and took up post by Derek’s legs and Spencer’s shoulders, Aaron looked over to Dave. “I need you to be prepared to hold his legs down. If he wakes up during this, I don’t want him jerking around and yanking anything open. We want to get him clean and allow the wounds to close over.”

“I’ve got him.” Dave knelt as well, pinning Spencer’s legs between his, leaning forward and bracing his hands on Spencer’s hips. They were all prepared now. Derek started to run a hand through Spencer’s hair without even realizing it. He’d done it for his little brother before in hotel rooms when the nightmares had gotten really bad and he knew it was one thing that helped soothe Spencer back to sleep. It had always worked with Desiree and Sara so it had prompted him to try it the first time Spencer woke from a nightmare so bad it was triggering a panic attack. He’d discovered then that it worked for Spencer too.

With one final deep breath, Aaron grabbed one of the pieces of cloth and gestured to Penelope to go. She cupped her hands and gathered some water, letting it fall down Spencer’s back. “A few more handfuls, Garcia. Then we’ll start to clean him up.”

Spencer made not a sound as two more handfuls of water washed over him, or even as Aaron started to gently wipe the man down. But the others had to work not to gasp or swear as more of Spencer’s skin became clear. Derek’s eyes were glued onto Spencer’s back. There were welts that were exposed now; marks that actually hadn’t broken the skin. Then there were the ones that had, all in different lengths. One in particular on the lower right side of his back, wrapping slightly onto his side, was both long and deep and was still bleeding. Aaron took another rag and applied pressure to it. Their worry increased when Spencer still didn’t flinch. How much drugs had the kid taken?

Derek didn’t realize he’d said that out loud until Aaron murmured “We won’t know until he wakes. But with his tolerance, I’d say he probably had quite a bit.”

“Tolerance?” Dave asked. He sat up, since it was obvious that Spencer wasn’t going to move, and looked at them all. “I feel like I’m missing something here.”

Sighing, Derek looked at Spencer’s head, barely listening as Aaron started to tell Dave the tale of Tobias and Georgia and the subsequent weeks afterwards. Of Spencer’s addiction and his recovery. He ended his story as he pulled his hands back, checking to make sure the cut had stopped bleeding. Dave was looking down at Spencer with a whole new look in his eyes. “Who knew the kid could be so damn tough? He’s been through hell, hasn’t he?”

“In one way or another, we all have.” Derek pointed out to them. “It seems to be a bit of a requirement for this job that you be a little messed up.”

Even Aaron cracked a small smile at that one. He was gesturing to Penelope again, so she put a little more water over Spencer’s back, washing away the last of his blood. It looked like everything had stopped bleeding, at least. From where he sat, Derek looked down and felt his stomach roll. _There’s going to be a hell of a lot of scars from this_ he found himself thinking. For a kid who was already self-conscious about being in anything less than a shirt, tie and sweater or sweater vest, those scars would be hell. _He’ll probably never change in front of anyone again. He already hated people seeing him even shirtless. This is just going to make it worse._

Lost in thought, Derek hadn’t noticed that Aaron had been sifting through the cloth. At least, not until Aaron made some sound that drew Derek’s eyes up. In his hand he held a small plastic cup, almost like a child’s cup. “Good.” Aaron said. “We’ll need this. He shouldn’t straighten much once he wakes. He needs to let these heal over as much as possible. This will help us to keep him hydrated.” Abruptly Aaron rose to his feet. “Let’s get him away from here so he’s not lying in water. Then, the only thing we can do is let him sleep and wait until he wakes up.”

It took all three of the men to help get Spencer moved. The man was out like a light and totally unresponsive to them. They ended up having to carry him, the three of them, trying to keep him from bending enough to tear open any of his wounds. When they got against the back wall, Derek once again took a seat and ended up being the pillow for Spencer’s head. Penelope took up post at Spencer’s shoulder once more, while Aaron and Dave sat so that Spencer was between them and the wall. They knew they wouldn’t be able to protect him if Marcus, Noah or Eli came in, but they couldn’t stop themselves from sitting that way anyways.

The room was quiet for a long moment but for the sounds of their breathing.  After sitting in silence for a long while, Penelope couldn’t take it anymore. “What do you think happened to Emily?” She whispered fearfully.

Derek sighed and lifted his eyes to look at her. “We don’t know, baby girl.”

“All we can do is wait for Reid to wake up. Then we can ask questions.” Aaron said.

Dave nodded. “Until then, there’s no point speculating. Our minds will just come up with the worst scenarios. Better we wait and get the facts.”

She looked at the three of them before looking down at Spencer. “I don’t know how to do this. My minds already thinking of all sorts of horrible things. I can’t help but worry about her and about him and JJ and all of us. What’s going to happen to us?”

Once again, the basement fell silent. None of them had an answer for her.

CMCM

The room stayed quiet for quite a while as the team of profilers tried to get as much sleep as they could. Yet it was hard to come by for them. They alternated between worrying about the man laying so still, his head still pillowed in Derek’s lap, and worrying about their absent friend. Was she ok? Had they just put her in another room? Could they really trust that she was ok, as Marcus had said? Or had they gone and…and killed her?

There were no answers and each question they thought of only brought another question with it. The only thing they could do was wait and that was something none of them did well. They were people of action. This captivity, though short so far, was starting to wear on them all in little ways. It made the situation worse with the two pails against the wall. Though they were practical, and they all understood that a body had needs, it didn’t stop the embarrassment of having to use them in front of their friends and colleagues. Aaron was the first to give in to nature’s call, with Dave after him. Derek took a turn, letting Penelope act as Spencer’s pillow. Penelope, as the only girl, held out the longest. Eventually, even she had to give in, though she refused to look at her friends afterwards for the next hour. But they granted as much privacy and respect as they could in their confined space.

Finally, after none of them could stand the silence any longer, Dave spoke, repeating his words from earlier. “Even after all you guys told me, I still can’t believe the kiddo is taking so much and still managing to be here.” He said in a soft voice. His eyes were fixed on Spencer’s back and the cuts that had scabbed over. All of them looked at the red flesh, torn and welted, underlain with bruises from earlier hits. “I’ve never seen him act so tough before. He’s usually, well, the mildest of all of us.”

“He’s got a temper on him.” Derek smiled as he said this, his hand stroking over Spencer’s hair once more. “One time we were bickering back and forth at my house. I didn’t want to let him go home by himself because I felt he needed to be with someone that night. I kept blocking him from leaving. He got so pissed, he threw a coffee cup at my head.” His story brought on soft laughter.

With a slightly broken look on her face, Penelope looked down to Spencer again, a slight sheen of tears to her eyes. “How can he take so much?” She lifted wet eyes to look at the men around her. “I would’ve been screaming and sobbing after the first few hits. But he…he just, took it.”

None of them had known that Spencer was finally waking up. Still groggy, he’d been lying there as Derek had told his story, trying to orient himself. But when he heard Penelope’s words, he couldn’t help responding, though he didn’t move or even open his eyes. Everything on him hurt. When he spoke, all of them jumped a little, turning to look at him. “When a high percentage of your childhood was spent being beaten by kids bigger than you on a daily basis and then you take a job in the FBI where you’re randomly injured, as well as adding in my predisposition to catching the interest of Unsubs, well, I’ve built quite a high tolerance for pain as well as the capability to distract myself from it for a while.” His eyes opened, looking to them. “And I can take more. I will. I’ll last as long as it takes for everyone to get out.”

“Reid, we don’t have a plan to get out of here.” Dave was the one to point this out. His eyes were dark with worry. “We don’t know how long it’ll take us to figure one out.”

“I’ll make it.” He insisted again. They all watched as his eyes closed once more. “I have to. Once I die, he won’t have any use for any of you anymore. I’m strong. I’ll hold on just long enough…” Weakly his voice trailed off, showing his exhaustion. Derek’s hand continued stroking in his hair as he said “You’ll hold on till we get you medical help. I’m not giving up on you, pretty boy.”

Spencer could only give a soft hum in response. His body was sore and his head felt like it was going to split open. The headache, he’d expected, as well as the body aches. Not just from the pain on the outside, but from the withdrawal his body was going through on the inside. It took everything he had not to snarl when Penelope spoke suddenly; her voice was too loud, too high, and his head felt like it might break from the sound. “Reid…where’s Emily? That Marcus guy, he said he wouldn’t tell us. That he’d let you tell us the story. Where is she? Is she ok?”

He’d known they’d ask him this. So Marcus had said he could tell them, had he? Annoyed, Spencer squeezed his eyes shut, focusing for a moment on the feel of Derek’s hand in his hair. The little tugs on his scalp actually felt wonderful, like they were pulling away part of his headache. Though the others didn’t know it, this was something that Derek had done for him before. No matter how bad things were for Spencer, this gesture soothed him. Sometimes, when he lay like this with his friend, he couldn’t help but think that maybe this was what it really felt like to have a brother. Someone who watched out for you, took care of you, soothed you when you were hurting or scared, fought with you when needed, laughed with you at all the good times. It was a pleasant feeling.

He abruptly realized that his thoughts were drifting. Either the pain was messing with his mind, or there was still a small amount of the drug in his system. That had been a high dose for him even back in his using days; now, after being so long without it in his body, it had been almost too much.

Remembering that the others were waiting for an answer, Spencer sighed softly and shifted to bring one hand up to rub at his face, wincing as that pulled at his back, bringing to life a new world of pain. He gritted his teeth and tried to breathe around it, focusing on the hand that continued to move in his hair, gripping the hand he’d brought up in Derek’s pant leg. Someone’s hand touched his arm and he heard Dave’s deep voice, calm and soothing. “Breathe, Reid. Try to take a few deep breaths and breathe your way through the pain. You need to hold as still as possible, kiddo.”

“Gee, you think?” Spencer snapped before he could stop himself. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he was grimacing. “Sorry, sorry.” He was quick to apologize.

“It’s ok.” Dave reassured him, still calm.

Now that the waves of pain had mellowed and Spencer could breathe easy again, he let go of Derek’s pant leg and tried to relax his body as best he could, working to ignore how cold the ground was under him. To distract himself, he started to finally answer Penelope’s question. “Emily isn’t here because she’s free. He set her free.” He told them all in a voice that was just barely a whisper. It was all the sound he could handle.

“What?” Someone exclaimed. It was loud enough that his head pounded and he couldn’t even tell who the voice belonged to.

Much to his gratitude, Derek made a shushing sound before whispering “Low voices, guys. He’s probably got a headache of mammoth proportions.”

 _Thank you, Morgan! If I had to tell them, I probably would have snapped way harder than they’re used to from me_. He sighed out a breath and made himself start explaining. “I made a deal with Marcus. Twenty four hours of my cooperation, no arguing or fighting, and no telling any of you what was going on, and he would release one person of my choosing. I took the deal; he set Emily free.” That was a very condensed version of things, but his throat felt parched.

Someone must have been able to tell. Spencer heard movement going away and then coming back toward him. “Here, Reid.” Aaron murmured to him. “Drink this. It’s water.”

Spencer opened his eyes just to slits, almost hissing as the light hit them. When his vision cleared, he saw Aaron holding a little cup in front of him. Gratefully he took little drinks, awkward from the angle he was laying, but heaven on his throat. After a few, he felt capable of talking once more without it feeling like his throat was made of sandpaper. His face gave a nasty throb when he lay back against Derek’s leg, reminding him of the giant bruise that was his nose. He tried to ignore it.

As she sat forward, Penelope gave Spencer a serious look, which the younger man barely caught. His eyes were still only barely open. “Reid…” she started off slowly. “How do you know you can trust him? What if…what if he lied? What if he hurt her?”

“He wouldn’t.” Aaron answered for him in a firm and serious voice. “Everything in the profile suggests that he’s the type to stand by what he says. He doesn’t really care about any of us beyond being pawns in this game to break and murder Reid. He holds no grudge against us and so it wouldn’t really cross his mind to hurt Prentiss after telling Reid that he’d let her go. His game is entirely focused on Reid. Though it surprises me that he released someone, he must feel that there’s no risk to that person coming back and ruining things. He most likely bound her so she wouldn’t be able to see where she was as they took her out.”

Dave crossed his legs and rested his arms on his thighs, giving Spencer a serious look. “Now that we know what happened to her, I want to know what happened to you. You were so drugged we were able to strip you and wash your back without you even flinching, Reid. Even when Aaron pressed on one to stop the bleeding, you didn’t flinch. What happened in there when he took you out?”

That was the last thing Spencer really wanted to say. He wasn’t proud of his actions in that room. There hadn’t been a choice, true, but that didn’t stop him from feeling ashamed of the little part of him that had almost salivated at the idea of getting a fix. _Once an addict, always an addict_ his mind taunted him. But he knew his friends wouldn’t let this go and there was nowhere he could hide from them in here. They were stuck together. If he tried to keep it to himself, they would nag and nag until he broke down and told them anyways.

Closing his eyes against the shame, Spencer curled his fingers, gripping his own hands. He didn’t realize how he looked to them at the moment, with the lines between his eyebrows and the pained expression on his face. He didn’t know that Derek could feel how tense he’d suddenly become. They waited silently, giving Spencer time to gather himself. What he told them wasn’t what they’d expected.

“There was a third condition to him releasing one of you that I wasn’t allowed to know until the end. When he took us in there, he laid out a syringe on the table and told me to inject her. I knew what was in there and I saw the dose; it would have killed her. It was far too much. When I said this, he told me ‘What you do here is up to you, Dr. Reid. The entire syringe must be empty before we take your friend away. I’m sure someone with your brain power will figure out a solution to this.’ And I knew what he expected me to do.”

He paused to draw in air. Shame and temper boiled around inside of him. He clenched his fists tighter and kept talking. “I prepped her and the syringe and I gave her as small a dose as I possibly could. By my estimates on body weight and dosage size, it was a safe dose for her. I knew that, what was left, I could handle. It was a strong dose, a bit more than I’ve taken before, but I knew I wouldn’t suffer an overdose. I wanted her to have less so that the effects wouldn’t be as strong and she would recover faster and not have to feel the craving for it. I’ve handled withdrawal before. Better I take it than let her have too much.”

“Oh, kid.” Derek sighed out above him. Penelope made a small, pained sound. Neither of the senior profilers said anything for a long minute. Then Aaron spoke, low and firm. “You did the right thing, Reid. You did well. You have no reason to be ashamed about this; it wasn’t your choice.”

He couldn’t help but sneer a little. “Don’t I?” His voice was bitter. “I may have done it for her, but that does not preclude the fact that I wanted this, Hotch. Does that make you proud? I tied the tourniquet on and prepped the syringe and I became thrilled at the prospect of using; of the oblivion I knew I would soon achieve. I _enjoyed_ it. Once an addict, always an addict, _Sir_.” The last word was thrown out mockingly, full of all the cynicism that Spencer was holding inside himself.

It wasn’t Aaron who answered him, but Derek. Even speaking softly, his voice was slightly hard and very serious. “Don’t you start that with me, Reid.” He warned him. “You did what was right. Yes, the addict inside of you enjoyed it. That’s always going to be a part of you. But that doesn’t make you any less. And this is not going to change a damn thing. When we get out of here, you’re coming to stay with me for as long as it takes until you get better from this. I won’t let you backslide, kid. You’ve worked too damn hard to get this far. So just kill the bad attitude, shut up, and try to get some sleep.” His body shifted and Spencer imagined he was looking at the others. “Let him sleep a bit. It’ll help kick past some of the withdrawal symptoms and give his body more time to heal before the asshole comes back.”

Before Spencer could think of protesting, the hand in his hair stopped stroking and started to rub at his head, a thumb rubbing over his temple. He almost groaned out loud. He must have made some sound because Derek chuckle softly. “Just sleep, pretty boy. We’ll wake you up if anyone comes in. For now, just sleep.”

What else could he do? Under the gently soothing hands of his best friend, Spencer let himself drift back to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

It was the need to use the bathroom that finally woke Spencer from his sleep. He tried his best to ignore it, knowing that movement was going to be extremely painful, but the need was insistent. Looking around him, he saw that everyone was asleep, which meant that he was going to have to try to get up on his own. Great; just great. _You’re going to have to move sometime, you idiot. You can’t just stay here on the floor for the rest of your life. Quit whining to yourself, suck it up, and move!_ The mental scolding made him scowl but it gave him the strength to move his arms despite the pain it caused.

The drug was most definitely fully out of his system by now. Damn it all to hell and back. The pain was back full force now and there were no traces of that familiar high left in his body. No, he was firmly back in reality now. _Yeah, because that’s such a great damn place. Reality is just so wonderful right now_. As he planted his palms flat on the ground, Spencer wondered if it was a bad sign that even his thoughts were turning sarcastic. Then he stopped caring as the effort of drawing himself up to his knees brought to life a lightning storm of pain across his back. It wasn’t a fire anymore; it was lightning, sharp and stabbing, searing him everywhere it struck. He bit down to keep the scream locked tight in his throat, not even realizing that he was biting his lip until he started to taste blood.

How long he sat there on all fours, breathing heavily through his nose, trying to stay as still as possible, he had no idea. He didn’t care. Time wasn’t important. All that was important was getting enough control over the pain that he could move and finally be able to get far enough away from his friends to relieve himself. It was the pressing need in his bladder that forced him into movement once more.

_Come on, Spencer. Come on! You can do this. You’ve been beaten before and you always managed to do what needed to be done. After the kids at school beat you bloody, you got up and walked home. If you can do that, you can crawl a few feet across a hard floor to go relieve yourself. Move! Move!_

Unfortunately, determination only carried him so far. He’d barely crawled a foot away when he had to stop once more. It would be easier if he was on his feet but there was no way he was going to be able to stand on his own. Just no way. Just trying to crawl was stretching his back and making his bruised ribs ache, not to mention the pressure that seemed to be settled in his face from being at this angle. In the back of his mind, he couldn’t help the thought that started out small and was growing larger and large by the minute. _I wish I had more in my system. I wish he’d give me more. Just one little hit, a small dose, and none of this would bother me. I’d be able to move just fine and take anything Marcus threw at me. Just one hit and there’d be no more pain. I wonder if he’ll give me more? Oh, I want more. I want it so much._ All the while, the other part of him, growing smaller and smaller it seemed, was trying to resist. _No! I don’t need it. I do NOT need this anymore! I only took it because it was what I had to do. I do not need this in my life anymore!_

That voice of reason was getting even quieter. What was the point of resisting the lure of the drug? _It’s not like I’m going to live long enough to worry about recovery or treatment. Why not spend the last few days of my life in a daze if I so wish?_ But no, he couldn’t. He had to stay clearheaded enough to be able to protect his friends. That was the most important thing in his life right now; protecting those he loved.

A hand on his arm startled Spencer so bad he almost went flying sideways. His breath hitched in his chest and his eyes shot wide for a moment before slamming shut on a wave of pain. “Woah, woah.” A soothing voice said quickly. The hand on his arm started to stroke slightly. “Calm down, kiddo. It’s me. It’s Rossi. Come on now, calm down and take a few deep breaths. That’s it.”

Slowly, under Dave’s murmured instructions, Spencer managed to catch his breath and relax once more. When he had, Dave made an approving sound before asking “What’re you doing, kiddo?”

On a normal day, Spencer would have flushed at the idea of actually answering that question. But bruised, bloody and just so damn sore, it seemed ridiculous to be embarrassed about answering. “Bathroom.” He wheezed, trying to control his breathing still.

“Ah, yeah. They gave us some pails over this way. You want me to bring one to you or help you over there?”

The idea of Dave bringing him a pail to piss in was enough to actually bring back some of Spencer’s modesty. He felt his cheeks heat with embarrassment at the idea, bringing a light chuckle from Dave. “Help it is then. I’ll help you up to your feet, but it’s going to hurt like hell, Reid. Just a second.” Dave’s hand was gone for a moment and then he was back, bringing something that looked like a rag in front of Spencer’s face. “I know you don’t want to scream for them. This one’s clean. Why don’t you put it in and bite down on it so you don’t end up biting your tongue or lips?”

Huh. That was a good idea. Spencer got one hand up off the floor, taking the rag and stuffing it in his mouth, not caring how it made him look. Then Dave was squatting in front of him, moving his hands to Spencer’s armpits. With a great amount of effort, Spencer braced his hands on Dave’s arms. Together, the two rose from the ground.

Shit! The pain from crawling was nothing compared to this. The room spun until Spencer shut his eyes. He bit hard on the rag, letting it muffle the scream that changed to a keening, barely able to be heard past his gag. He was thankful for that and for Dave’s hands holding him, or he would have sunk to the ground and screamed for the whole world to hear.

It took a good five minutes, at least, before he opened his eyes and was able to breathe regularly again. By then, the need to use the restroom was beyond intense. Spitting out the gag, Spencer let Dave brace him and the two started across the room. Never had a short distance seemed so long. It felt like the bucket was miles away from him. Finally, though, they made it. Dave turned his back on him, giving him privacy, but he didn’t let go of one of Spencer’s arms, giving him stability. It was embarrassing to go while someone was standing right there and holding him up, but the need was too strong and Spencer just couldn’t bring himself to make Dave step away. So, he did what needed to be done, cheeks burning the entire time.

Once done, Dave helped him turn around. Instead of setting off toward their friends, Spencer angled them toward the side of the room. “I need to move.” He managed to tell Dave. As much as it hurt, moving was actually easing some of his other aches, such as in his legs and ankle. Though his ankle still bore the ace wrap JJ had put there—he realized belatedly that Marcus must have taken the one from his ribs after the whipping, because Spencer didn’t see it anywhere in there and he didn’t have it on anymore—it seemed to ease it a little to walk on it. It was also warmer than going and lying back down on that cold ground. Though Dave obviously looked as if he had something on his mind, he said nothing as he started to help Spencer pace the room.

But after walking in quiet for a few, Dave finally seemed to decide to speak what was on his mind. _Here it comes_ Spencer thought sarcastically.

“You know, I have to say that you’re handling all of this much better than anyone would have expected.” He said softly, mindful of Spencer’s aching head. What he said surprised the young doctor for a second before he felt slightly offended by it. “I’m not as weak as people think I am.” Spencer snapped.

Dave looked over to him and shook his head. “That wasn’t what I meant, Reid. I know you’re not weak.” He waited until Spencer relaxed a little before continuing. “I meant more that you’re doing well for someone in your position. Look at what’s happened to you while we’ve been here. You’ve been beaten by three of your friends, had to live in constant danger, been whipped, drugged…”

And there was the crux of it. As soon as Dave said the word, Spencer knew what this conversation was going to be about. He tried to resist the urge to sigh. There was no point in saying anything yet; better to let Dave get it out of his system.

They reached the other side of the room, carefully turning to pace back once more. “You know that it’s ok to freak out a little, don’t you, Reid? No one expects you to be perfectly strong in this. Maybe it’s what’s right in front of Marcus, but in here with us, when we’re alone, it’s ok if you break just a little.”

“I can’t.” Spencer says simply.

“You can’t just hold it in, Reid. It’s not healthy. You’ve see what happens to people who separate themselves from their pain; you know the damage that it can cause.”

At his wits end, Spencer jerked his arm away and found himself glaring at a man he respected and admired.“Seeing as how the likelihood of my making it out of this alive is almost statistically nonexistent, I doubt that my mental state is something I need to worry so hard about!”

His shout had woken the others, who were looking up at them now, blinking away their sleep. Dave was staring at him with his mouth hanging open slightly in surprise. But his shout had also drawn the attention of someone else. The door to their prison opened and Marcus strolled in, his gun held casually in his hand, Noah taking up post at the door behind him while Marcus stepped in. “I couldn’t help but hear your shout, Dr. Reid.” Marcus said in his sickeningly sweet voice. He was wearing a smirk. “It’s good to see that you realize your fate. I’m glad you understand the severity of the situation.”

“It’s not like it was difficult to figure out.” Spencer sneered. He felt Dave’s warning squeeze on his arm and ignored it. His head was pounding, his body hurt in so many places both inside and out and he felt as if something was crawling under his skin, itching to get out. All of that made his temper much shorter than it usually was. “I knew that from the instant I learned who the idiot was who was holding me hostage.”

Anger wiped away all humor on Marcus’s face. “Excuse me?”

“Did I stutter?” Where this courage was coming from, Spencer didn’t care. He was just so sick and tired of playing this game. Beyond tired. He was slowly starting to not give a damn about what Marcus did to him. Even in the midst of all this, he recognized that this wasn’t a good sign. He was becoming reckless. But between the pain, the mental stress, and now this _need_ clawing him apart from the inside out, he just didn’t care. When Dave yanked on his arm, hissing at him to shut up, Spencer ignored it. “I thought I spoke pretty clearly. My apologies. Do I need to speak in smaller words so that you better understand me, Marky?”

The hit to the face wasn’t unexpected. The taste of blood filled Spencer’s mouth from where Marcus’s full armed slap had cut his lip on his teeth. Furious and not thinking, he gathered that blood and spat it at him. He watched with satisfaction as Marcus recoiled, one hand coming up to wipe the blood off his face. But when he saw the anger morph into fury, he still held enough semblance of rationality to feel some fear start in his stomach.

Marcus raised his gun, pointing it to Spencer, while Noah stood in the door, pointing one at the rest of the room to keep them back. Spencer didn’t even flinch from the gun, or from the words Marcus spat at him. “You’re forgetting your place here, Dr. Reid. I suggest you watch your mouth before someone else has to suffer the consequences!”

“It is physically impossible to watch one’s own mouth.” Spencer shot back at him in annoyance. He brought one hand up, rubbing at his temple to try and take away the headache he was feeling. He knew he was pushing his limits here, but he was beyond having any patience. His temper sat just under the surface. The logical part of his brain knew this was from the withdrawals. But that didn’t mean he could stop it. What did Marcus expect? That a beaten addict in the throes of withdrawal would be pleasant? He was an idiot! Spencer sneered slightly as he pointed that out to his captor. “But if you’re suggesting that I try not to speak to you without such attitude or anger, well, I must say it’s your fault I’m this way, so you should be the one to deal with the consequences of those actions.”

“My fault?”

“If you wanted me to be well behaved, you never should have provided the addict in me with the drug it craves. Did you stop to think this through? You enjoyed the psychological torture that it inflicts but you obviously didn’t have enough intelligence to think of what the withdrawal and craving does to a person. You unlocked this monster, Marcus. It’s only fair you deal with him now that he’s free.”

Fury lit Marcus’s face. His grip on his gun tightened and his eyes went hot and sharp. “You want to give me attitude, Spencer Reid?” Lowering his gun, he took a step back, toward the door. “I’ll help you cool off. Just like dear old Dad used to do. How’s that sound, huh?” Turning to the door, he said something to Eli on the other side, who must have been close, because Marcus’s voice was a low whisper none of them could hear.

Not that it mattered. Spencer knew what was coming. He backed up toward the wall without even realizing it, wishing he could take is words back. But it was too late.

Noah took a step forward, barking out “Against the wall now and stay there until you’re told to move or I shoot the fat bitch’s leg!”

The insult made Derek snarl at him, but the group moved back against the wall in a familiar pose, gathering close together. Their eyes moved to Spencer, wondering what would happen now, afraid of what they would see and hating that they were so damn helpless. Spencer couldn’t take a moment to reassure them. His back met the wall, almost in the corner. Even that pain wasn’t enough to distract him. He stared as Marcus grabbed something from the other side of the doorway and then he was drawing back in, a large hose in his hands, trailing behind him and out the door. Without a single word, he turned the spray on and pointed the jets straight at Spencer.

Spencer had thought he’d been braced for the cold. He’d thought he’d been ready for that first jet of water to hit him. But he hadn’t taken into account how strong the jet of water would be or how it would feel not only on his bruising and cuts, but on skin that was overly sensitive from the withdrawal. He’d forgotten how going through that made him feel as if anything touching his skin was like sandpaper, scratching even as it felt like it was pounding at him. A casual touch felt almost like a blow.

Agony spread over him. He couldn’t stop himself from trying to move, to get away from the water, but Marcus was relentless. He pinned him into the corner with it and continued to spray him. When the water hit his back, Spencer couldn’t stop the shriek that ripped out of him like razor blades. He couldn’t hear the others calling out, or Penelope sobbing, or even JJ’s muffled shouts from the other room. All he could do was focus on trying to protect as much of his body as possible. He sank down low in the corner, drawing his knees to his chest and bringing his hands and arms to shelter his head. Under the cover of the water, he let the tears fall, unable to hold them back anymore.

When the spray stopped, he didn’t move, simply stayed curled into a ball and didn’t even try to stop the silent tears. He stayed there as Marcus shouted something at him and as the man left the room. He even stayed still when he heard Eli murmuring something and felt a soft, thin blanket, then another, laid over him. In his mind, he felt things finally catching up on him. He swore he could feel a hint of madness lurking at the edges of his mind. How much more of this he could take, he didn’t know. But he did know one thing. He had to get his friends out of here, before he finally snapped, just like Marcus wanted. Otherwise, his friends would die.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Everything seemed so hazy. It was like the world was going past in a pleasant little blur. With a laugh, the woman laid her head back, staring up at the stars in the sky.  How had she got here? Not that it really mattered. The sky was so beautiful! Moving had only made things spin, but lying here allowed her to view the sky and the stars. She sighed a little and let herself lay there, drifting in and out, not quite a wake but not quite asleep.

How long she lay there, she had no idea. But rational thought slowly was making its way back in. Her name came to her; she knew who she was. Emily Prentiss. Agent of the BAU in the FBI. But why on earth was she lying on a cold piece of sidewalk? It took her a long time to go from thinking about sitting up to actually sitting up. Even then, she had to take a moment to just sit there and reorient herself. Up; she needed to get up. But why?

_The team. The team needs you. Snap out of it, Emily!_

Oh, that was right. Emily forced limbs that felt like they were made of jelly to move. Though her body swayed and she had to lean heavily on the wall—was this an alley? How had she gotten to an alley?—she managed to get upright. She stood there and grinned, celebrating that small victory. Now came the next step. Walking. Where, she didn’t know. But she knew she had to get out of here. One step—so far so good. Two steps—the world rushed past as she went down to the ground. The impact of the hard ground against her hands and knees had her crying out.

The pain jolted through her system, bringing her brain to a more alert state with a sharp jolt. On all fours in a dirty alley, Emily looked around and really saw where she was for the first time. _I’m in an alley. The last thing I remember is…being at that table? Reid was there. Reid and—Marcus? Yes, Marcus! They were talking. Reid had done something. What was it? Some kind of promise or something like that. A deal? A deal! He’d made a deal to get one of us free and he picked me. Then, oh God_ It came rushing back with a sick sort of clarity. _He drugged us. The bastard made Reid drug us. He took too much and gave me less than I could have handled. That’s how I’m managing to be so clearheaded. While I was out of it, one of them must have taken me and dropped me off here. I’m not injured, aside from this fall. I need to find out where I am and I need to get to the Bureau. Now!_

With the strength she was famous for amongst those who knew her, Emily gritted her teeth and forced her rebellious body to rise once more. Though still wobbly, still feeling the effects of the drug, her brain was much clearer. Determination set in. Somewhere, her friends were counting on her. Reid had made a huge sacrifice to get her free. The hell if she was going to disappoint them.

CMCM

Clutching the blanket a little tighter, Spencer tried to control the shivers that felt like convulsions. The others had gotten him from the corner as soon as Eli had left. They’d taken the blankets Eli had brought in and brought them and Spencer both over to their wall. If they lectured him, Spencer had no idea. The steady murmur of their voices was there but he hadn’t paid any attention to what they’d actually said. When warm hands had stripped his pants from him, he hadn’t even had the strength to be modest. He’d leaned against the embrace of the one that held him—he thought it was Derek. It felt like Derek—and let the others use rags to dry him off.

There had been another voice that Spencer had vaguely realized was Eli and then his friends were putting dry pants on him. After that, Derek sat against the wall and brought Spencer right up against him, wrapping the blankets around him and hugging him close without touching his back. Spencer’s side was against Derek’s chest, his back facing off to the side and loosely covered by the blanket. So long as he didn’t move, it didn’t hurt. And when Penelope moved to Derek’s side, cuddling up between Spencer’s legs and adding her body heat to their mix, it became even more comfortable. He still shivered, but it was nowhere near as bad as it had been.

A vague part of him realized that he was getting sick. Most likely an infection was settling in to the wound on his back; his stress, lack of real sleep, the cold of their prison, the lack of steady food and water, all of those would have combined to start getting him sick. The injuries would have just added on to it.

Someone was in front of them, trying to get their attention. Spencer blinked exhausted eyes, forcing them to focus. It was Aaron there. What did he want?

“Reid, look at me. Come on, look at me. I need you to pay attention, ok?”

Well, he wasn’t stupid. He understood English perfectly fine, so he had no idea why Aaron was speaking so slowly. Licking his lips, Spencer told him “I’m looking at you.”

The smart ass response seemed to satisfy his boss in some way. Aaron looked a little more relaxed. He held out something in his hand. “You need to eat something, Reid. Your body is in shock right now, ok?” The thing in his hand was a sandwich. Where had that come from? Spencer didn’t remember anyone bringing food in with them. _Am I hallucinating? That’s not good. Hallucinations are not a good sign._

“Come on now, Reid. Pay attention. I need you to listen!”

Had he drifted again? Ok, that really wasn’t good. _He’s right. Your body has been through serious physical trauma and you’ve lost blood. Physically and psychologically you’re suffering from shock. You need fluids and food and rest. Pay attention to Hotch! Quit spacing and eat what he’s giving you, you idiot!_ His mind scolded him even as Aaron was still talking, trying to draw his attention. Spencer debated saying something; maybe try to explain that he was listening. Things were just slightly fuzzy around him. But he didn’t think his boss would appreciate that. So he decided that actions would do more than words would.

Reaching out slowly and carefully, he took the half a sandwich that was being offered to him. Someone said something approving, but all of Spencer’s attention was focused on eating the food. Countless times his brain tried to drift, only to be brought back by a sharp word from someone around him. He tried to eat quickly so maybe they’d leave him alone. He was starting to get so tired. But as soon as the food was gone, they were pushing a cup at him, trying to get him to drink.

Finally enough was enough. Spencer downed what was in the cup and then dropped it. Tired and annoyed, he laid his head against Derek’s shoulder and huddled in his blanket. He felt the older man shake a little as he chuckled. “I’d say the kid’s done, guys.” Derek told them.

“Kid is right.” Dave teased lightly. “That was almost a tantrum.”

Penelope snuggled in, making shushing sounds at them. “Leave the poor boy alone. He’s tired and hurting. If he hasn’t earned a fit by now, I don’t know who has. Just let him sleep a little.”

Smiling, Spencer let his eyes drift shut, content that those around him would let him sleep and keep watch over him. But, even though he drifted slightly, he didn’t fully fall asleep. Instead he drifted in and out, in this sort of half-asleep state that was peaceful. It kept him from feeling too much. The pain, the cold, the nausea, the aches, the withdrawals, all of that was waiting for him when he came back to reality. The longer he could postpone that, the better.

That wasn’t to be, though. The door to their prison slapped open and Marcus came strolling in. The sound of the door opening had drawn Spencer’s eyes. As soon as he saw who it was, he’d tried to move out of Derek’s arms, to rise and go to the middle of the room where he knew Marcus would want him. But Spencer found the arms around him to suddenly be tight and Aaron was rising in front of him.

Their voices were slightly muddy. Spencer tried to force himself to become more alert; to pay attention. This was important!

“He’s too weak right now.” Aaron was saying. He stood tall and steady in front of Spencer. “You’ve pushed his body too hard, too far. He’s in shock. Anything you do to him right now will kill him. Is that what you want? Do you want this game to end so quickly?”

What was he doing? What the hell was Aaron doing? He was going to get himself hurt! Spencer tried to squirm, to break free, but even on a good day, Derek was stronger than him. Weakened as he was, Spencer put up no more fight than a kitten. It was nothing for Derek to hold him in place. “Quiet, pretty boy.” He murmured in Spencer’s ear. “Let Hotch work. He knows what he’s doing and he’s right, too. You wouldn’t survive anything that Marcus would do.”

“I don’t care.” Spencer hissed. “Let me go.”

Distracted by his argument with Derek, he missed whatever it was that Marcus said, but he heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh and then two solid thumps. When he looked up, Aaron was on the ground clutching his stomach. Marcus stood over him, kicking over and over at his stomach. “This is _my_ game!” Marcus shouted at him. “ _My_ rules. You don’t tell me how to play! I’ll do what I want and the hell if you’re going to stop me. I make the rules here!”

This was spiraling out of control. Marcus was devolving; Spencer could see that. Something had to change. Something had to happen. How much longer could his friends survive? How much longer could _he_ survive? He wasn’t sure anymore. But how on earth was he going to get his friends out of here? His half formed plan from earlier came floating back to the front of his mind. Spencer froze, analyzing the thought from each angle. It might work. At the moment, it was his only option. He couldn’t stand here and watch his friends be beaten instead of him and there was no way he’d survive another serious beating. It would kill him. But more than that, the sight of his boss—his tough friend that had survived so much hell in his life—being beaten on the ground…it was enough to break a person. Maybe he wasn’t quite crazy yet, maybe he was still clinging to the edges of his sanity, but witnessing Aaron being beaten was pushing him further and further over that edge.

Marcus abruptly stopped kicking the still figure on the ground. “Let this be a lesson to you. To all of you.” He snarled out. Spitting at the ground, he spun to leave.

It was now or never. “Wait, Marcus. I have a question first.” Spencer called out. His words seemed to surprise Marcus. The man stopped and stood there, looking at him with one eyebrow raised. After a long pause, he finally says “What is it?”

Spencer straightened his spine. This was the moment of truth. Suddenly calm—the adrenaline that rushed into him clearing away the shock and the pain and the cravings—he yanked from Derek’s surprised arms and brought himself upright. Despite the pain, he walked to the center of the room. He didn’t allow himself to look behind him or even down to Aaron as he spoke and set himself on this path he had decided upon. This was the right thing to do. “Not in here. Cuff me if it makes you feel safer, or have Noah keep his gun on my head, but I’d rather discuss what I have to say in the other room.”

“What?” he heard Aaron demand hoarsely from below him. Dave made some strangled sound and Derek snapped out “Reid, what the hell are you doing, man?”

This time it was Spencer who looked at Marcus, one eyebrow raised. He could tell he had the man’s interest. There was no way Marcus could pass this up. He stepped off to the side, gesturing Spencer toward the door. “Noah and I have our guns trained on you and your friends.” Marcus warned him. “So don’t try anything stupid.”

 _Too late_ Spencer wanted to say. He didn’t. He kept those words to himself.

Once in the other room, Spencer couldn’t help but look toward JJ, who was watching him with wide eyes. There were no new marks on her from the last time he’d seen her, thankfully. But she looked afraid as she watched him. Calm as can be, Spencer forced himself to move, walking to the chair at the table and taking a seat. The last time he’d been here, he’d drugged a good friend as well as himself. The craving tried to roar to life but he pushed it down for now. There would be time for that later. This meeting was so much more important. The plan that had only been half formed was now fully forming in his mind, all the variables being accounted for, all bits of it being analyzed. It was his best option.

Marcus took the other chair, settling back in it with a curious look on his face. “Now that we’re in here and they’re in there, what is it you can’t ask me in front of them, Dr. Reid? I admit I’m intrigued.”

“What if I told you I wanted to make a deal with you?” Spencer said carefully.

Marcus barely batted an eye. “Oh yeah?”

“Yes. I provide you with the one thing in the world you want more than anything else right now. All I want is one little thing in return.”

That brought the interest to Marcus’s eyes. He tried to stay casual, but his posture betrayed him to the trained profiler. “And what would you ask for?”

Spencer ignored JJ, ignored Noah and Eli, and stared straight at Marcus. “Let my friends leave, alive.”

Laughter filled the little room. “And I should do this, why? What do I get out of this?”

With one last sigh, Spencer prepared to give Marcus exactly what he wanted, hoping that it would be enough to do what needed to be done.

“Jason Gideon.”

The greed and longing that went over Marcus’s face told Spencer that he had a good chance of winning this. He was offering Marcus the ting he wanted the most. This game was good, but as he’d said at the start, he needed Gideon. In his eyes, the man was just as much to blame as Spencer. There was no way he’d be able to pass up an opportunity to bring him here. But he wasn’t an idiot. “What proof do I have that you’ll deliver on this once your friends are free? All my leverage would be gone.”

“If I lied to you, you could still kill my friends. You already took the entire team once. What’s to stop you from sneaking in and killing one of them? I’m not foolish enough to risk their lives. And if I was still stupid enough to risk lying to you and not delivering, you could always take me away and torture and kill me. You’d still end up with your end result.”

“I could do that with you here.” Marcus pointed out. “And not let them go.”

“Yes, you could.” Nodding, Spencer settled back, preparing to do his best to negotiate what he wanted here. “But you and I both know that my boss was correct, Marcus. Physically, I won’t survive much longer. My body has been fighting shock all day. There’s a chance that another beating could trigger internal bleeding and if I don’t catch an infection from my back then I’ll be surprised. As is, I only give myself another three days without being beaten. No matter what, I’m going to die. I’ve accepted that. Why would I lie to you and get my friends killed with me when it’s a simple thing to give you to guarantee their survival?”

The room was absolutely quiet as Marcus looked at Spencer’s face. They stared into one another’s eyes, each taking measure of the other, each thinking their own thoughts. Spencer saw the shift in Marcus’s eyes and almost sighed in relief. He knew before the man spoke that he had won.

Marcus brought his hands up, tapping his fingers together in front of him, his elbows resting on the table. “I cannot have them leading anyone back here. They will have to be drugged, much as your other friend was. I won’t risk you sending them out to get help and ‘rescue’ you.”

“I understand.” It was no more than he’d expected. If anything, he’d planned for that in his mind. “You’ll have to have them be chained to be drugged. Otherwise, they’ll resist. None of them will want to leave me here.”

“Noah will take care of it.”

Spencer was already shaking his head. “Let me do this alone. Get them in the chains and trust me to do this alone. You have my word I won’t try anything funny.” Then he let his face soften a little; let some of the pain he felt inside seep into his features. “I want to at least be able to say goodbye.”

Again, there was silence in the room. Then, with a great amount of satisfaction, Marcus grinned. “I do this and, when they’re gone, you deliver me Jason Gideon?”

“Yes. When I know they’re safe, I’ll call his number and tell him to meet us somewhere. Then we’ll leave and go to the location of your choice so my friends won’t be able to lead anyone to us. He’ll meet me. And then…then you’ll win.” He lifted his hand, holding it out across the table. “Do we have a deal?”

With a smirk, Marcus lifted his as well. The two men shook hands, sealing their deal. Marcus snapped his fingers at Eli, who immediately brought him over a bag. Setting it on the table, he pulled out a syringe and two vials of Dilaudid. “I was prepared for other instances. Now, it’ll help us here.” He said simply as he set them down. Then he handed the bag back to Eli and looked to Spencer, waiting.

Taking the needle and one of the vials off the table, Spencer measured out a dose, preparing the syringe so there were no air bubbles. Then he rose to his feet, eyes moving across the room. Steady and sure, he walked toward JJ.


	10. Chapter 10

Staring down into the eyes of his Godson’s mother—a woman who had always been there for him and cared for him—as her eyes started to gain that glazed look that he knew came from the high filling her system, Spencer felt the guilt trying to eat at his insides. He ruthlessly shoved it down. This was what had to be done to keep them all safe. To keep them _alive_. But he made himself watch her as the drug filled her system, knowing what he was causing her. The euphoria, yes. For now. But later…the craving wouldn’t be too intense for her. For any of them, really. That comes from dependence, which is bred after continued use. One does wasn’t going to harm them.

In the other room he could hear Noah shouting orders and the sounds of shackles as they were all clicked into place. Then there was the sound of footsteps as he came back into the room. He heard Noah go to Marcus and hiss at him “I don’t like this. We should just kill them all now. Why let them go? They’re going to tell everywhere who we are and where we are!”

“This was never against them.” Marcus said softly. “They shouldn’t have to pay. They’re as innocent as my brother was. As we all were. They shouldn’t pay for the cruelty of two men. No, this fate belongs to Spencer Reid and Jason Gideon and I _will_ make them pay for it.” Suddenly his voice turned sharper. “You’ve been well paid for your trouble. I’ll pay you even more for dropping them off as Dr. Reid and I agreed. Then you can take your money and run. Eli and I will handle it from there.”

So, Noah was going to be leaving, was he? That was good information to have. Just Marcus and Eli he could deal with. Noah was the most unpredictable one. He was the most dangerous.

Turning back around, Spencer moved to the table once more, taking the other vial of Dilaudid. He said nothing as he made his way toward the room, the spare vial now in his pocket. When he walked in, all eyes instantly moved toward him, questions evident on their faces. But at the sight of the syringe in his hand, those questions remained unasked. New ones cropped up in their place. Spencer made himself stand there and take in each and every face before him. He knew that he wasn’t going to survive this ordeal; this would be the last time he would get to see the faces of the family he so loved.

He went to Aaron first. Aaron, the best of them all. The strongest, toughest, and yet inside, one of the most caring. People thought emotion had been burned out of him. It hadn’t. But it was buried underneath such a hard outer shell, it was easy not to see it. But it was there. This was the one person Spencer felt the need to explain himself to. The others were important, yes. He would never deny that. But Aaron was his boss, his friend and, since Gideon had left, Aaron had filled in that position of mentor.

“I know that you most likely won’t approve of what I’m doing.” Spencer began in a low voice. He made himself look at Aaron’s eyes, something that he had a hard time with on a good day. He wanted Aaron to understand the importance of what he was saying and the truthfulness of it. “But I do what I feel I have to. If you all stay, there’s a good chance we’ll all die here. I couldn’t be responsible for that.” One of his hands lifted, shaking slightly. From withdrawal, shock, stress, suppressed emotion…he didn’t know. He pressed the tips of his fingers to a bruise on Aaron’s cheek before he quickly dropped his hand. “You’ve been a good friend, Hotch, and a great boss. I hope that you understand why I’m doing this. I hope, one day, you’ll even forgive me for it.”

Pulling up his syringe, Spencer checked the dose in there, made sure there was no air. Then he was reaching toward Aaron’s elbow. He put the needle there, against one of the veins. Meeting Aaron’s eyes one last time, he sighed. “I’m sorry, Hotch.”

“I understand, Reid.” Aaron’s voice was steady and firm, his gaze unwavering. “I wish you wouldn’t do this, but I understand that you feel you have to.”

He held perfectly still as Spencer slid the needle in and pressed the plunger. He was careful on how much he gave him; just enough to knock out a man of his size and no more than that. As the drug started to fill his system, Aaron’s eye drifted shut. Spencer looked at him one last time before moving on to Dave.

The senior profiler was glaring at him, but there was compassion in his gaze. “Are you sure he’s going to hold up whatever deal you’ve made?” he demanded to know. Spencer checked his syringe and added a little more, nodding as he did. “So long as I hold my end, he’ll hold his.”

“And what’s your end?”

Spencer gave Dave a sad smile. “It’s been a pleasure to work with you, David Rossi.” He said instead of an answer. “I learned quite a bit from you. I thought it would be hard, working with a man who was such a legend. Instead, I found out that you were just as human as the rest of us and I came to enjoy working with the man, not the legend. Thank you for being not only a great co-worker, but a fantastic friend.”

There was no struggle from Dave either as Spencer put the needle to his skin. But as the plunger was pressed, Dave looked right at him and said “It’s been both an honor and a privilege to work with you, Dr. Reid. _Che Dio vi benedica_.” May God bless you.

When he moved to Penelope, she was already crying. But Spencer was never more proud of him. She said nothing and neither did he, but their eyes locked and so many things passed between the two friends. Instead of words, there was a silent moment between them. She gave him one final smile and he smiled back. Then he prepared another dose and put it into yet another friend.

Last but not least was Derek. The man who had always been like a big brother looked at him now with such sadness on his face. “I can’t talk you out of this, can I?” He asked hoarsely. Spencer bit his lip and shook his head. This was the right thing to do. This was what he _had_ to do. Derek let out a soft sigh. “I will find you, kid. You know that. I won’t’ give up until I do.”

“But not in time.” Spencer said simply. He had no doubt his friend would find him in the end. But not in near enough time. Throwing aside pride for a moment, Spencer looked at him and made a soft request “Bring me home, please. When you find me, take me home? I…I want to be cremated. All that stuff, you’ll find it in my dresser at home, small file safe. The code is the date I joined the BAU.”

In that moment, neither of them could lie to the other. Derek couldn’t use any of the false bravado he might have in any other situation. Here, now, he had to face the raw truth right there in Spencer’s eyes. How could he deny him? “I promise, kid. You have my word.”

A sort of tension eased out of Spencer then. He let out a soft breath and smiled. “Thank you. I knew I could count on you.”

Once he had the final dose ready, he brought it to Derek’s arm and laid it there against the vein. “You’re my best friend.” In this last moment, Spencer felt free to admit things he’d always been too embarrassed to say before. “And a big brother. I’ve never had a real family before, not until you guys. Thank you for giving that to me.”

“You are family, Spencer. Blood aside, you are my little brother. Don’t ever doubt that, kid.”

As Spencer stood in the center of the room and stared at the faces of his friends, he felt his heart break. One last time he looked at them, at the people who meant more to him than anyone else. “Goodbye.” He whispered. Then he turned and left the room.

CMCM

One again Spencer was back in his prison, but for the first time, he was in there alone. Lying on his side, he stared at the wall, holding the blankets a little closer. There was no need for him to sit up and pretend strength anymore. His friends were being set free as he was lying here; at least, so long as things went according to plan. But if they had stayed here, they definitely would have died. At least this way they had a chance of getting free

When the door opened behind him, Spencer didn’t bother moving. What was the point? He knew who it was and he knew what to expect from him .Marcus’s voice was smug as he announced “Noah just called. He's reached the drop off point and it’s all clear. He’ll dump them and start back. When he gets back, you’re making your call and then we’re going to end this, Spencer Reid. Remember our bargain. Try to back out and I will send Noah after your friends once more and he’ll kill each and every one of them.”

“I understand.” Spencer said lifelessly. He didn’t even bother to turn around. What was the point?

Marcus gave a chuckle that made Spencer want to shiver. “Not so tough now that your friends are gone, are you?” he taunted.

Still spencer didn’t turn. “Is there a point? You’ve won, Marcus. Why should I bother fighting anymore?” Not only that, but he refused to give Marcus the satisfaction of playing his game anymore. Their ending terms were set and Spencer knew what he was going to do. He knew what his plan was. He knew how this whole thing would end.

The room was silent for a long minute as Marcus processed Spencer’s words. Then there was the sound of footsteps as he turned and left the room. As the door shut once more, silent tears ran in rivers from Spencer’s eyes.

CMCM

Shaking his head, Noah stuffed his phone in his pocket. This was the stupidest thing in the world. Why they didn’t just kill them, he had no idea. But he was getting paid and paid well to do what Marcus wanted. And if there was one thing that could get Noah every time, it was money. Thinking of the amount he was going to get from this had him grinning as he climbed from the van. He was going to have enough this time to go start over wherever the hell he wanted.  He wasn’t stupid enough to think that he’d be able to stick around the states; the FBI would be looking for him once these guys sobered up.

Who cared? Maybe he’d milk Marcus for a little more and he’d disappear entirely to someplace exotic. The Caribbean? Or somewhere that didn’t have an extradition agreement with the US. That would be good. He hummed slightly as he walked around to the back of the van and opened up the doors. One last look around and then he grabbed the first body there. The old guy, with grey hair. Noah snorted as he hooked his arms under the dude’s armpits and started to haul his drugged out ass out of the van.

The dude’s feet had just hit the ground and Noah had started to drop him when he heard footsteps and then a voice screaming out “FREEZE!”

His hand jerked toward his gun instinctively, but he froze when he saw the people filling the alleyway. There were at least twenty different guns trained on him. He was surrounded by people in SWAT uniforms. Shit. Shit! _Son of a fucking bitch! How the hell did they find me? How the hell did I get fucking busted? Dammit!_

From the crowd came a woman that had Marcus snarling. Now he knew how he’d been busted. “You” he snarled at the woman. “I knew we should’ve killed your ass when we had the chance.”

Emily Prentiss smirked at him over the top of her gun. “So you do remember me, Noah! I’m honored.” Her smile grew a little. “Now, hands in the air, if you please.”

When he lifted his hands, two SWAT members came forward, spinning him and pinning him to the wall before searching him for weapons. Then hands were on his wrists, pulling them behind his back and his cheek was digging into the wall, making him curse more. The hands on his wrists were decidedly gentle and feminine. Emily was the one cuffing him.

“You know, we caught you by dumb luck.” She told him in his ear. “You shouldn’t have driven Eli’s van. Reid didn’t drug me much and I saw the plates when Eli dumped me. As soon as I got in, I put a BOLO out on the car. The minute you hit city limits, they saw you and they called me.” She moved him away from the wall, holding him firmly as she started to walk him to a cop car. “I think I’m going to enjoy this part.” She said in a hard, pleased voice. “Noah, you have the right to remain silent….”

CMCM

Time seemed to run together for Spencer as he lay on that cold floor. His brain was drifting in and out, not really focusing on anything anymore. Life seemed to have drained from him.  Because of that, he didn’t flinch when the door opened or even footsteps angrily echoed around him. But when a hand gripped tightly in his hair and yanked him, he couldn’t stop his hoarse cry. Pain exploded through his scalp and then, as he was dragged over the floor, down to his back and the rest of his body. All he could do was bring his hands up weakly to his head, reaching for the hand that was cruelly fisted there.

Suddenly Spencer found himself thrown down to the floor. This time he managed to keep the cry locked inside. His hands braced on the ground and he lifted his chin, looking up at Marcus, terror growing in him. What had happened to make the man so furious? Had…had Noah done something to his friends? Had he broken the rules? Just the thought of that made panic wrap around Spencer’s lungs like a vise.

Pulling out his gun, Marcus pointed it down at Spencer. “Eli!” He snapped out. “Get him up. We’re leaving; now!”

The words surprised Spencer. He licked lips gone dry and tried to force his throat to work. “What’s going on?” He croaked. It made him wince to hear how dry and weak his voice had become. How long had he simply been lying on that floor? How long since his friends had been taken? _Please, oh please, let them be ok. Let them be alive!_ “What happened?”

“What happened?” Marcus shot back. “You want to know what happened? That idiot Noah got himself arrested, that’s what happened! Drove right into the damn Feds! So we’re getting the hell out of here before they show up. Now, Eli, _get him up_!”

Gentle hands touched Spencer’s arms, bracing him and helping him toward his feet. The young doctor looked up, his eyes meeting Eli’s, seeing something he hadn’t thought to see there. Compassion. When Eli shifted to better help Spencer upright, it put his back to Marcus and the man took advantage of it to mouth at Spencer ‘I’m sorry’. The honesty on his face left Spencer stunned. They had thought that Eli was a submissive in this and that he might be easier to break, but they hadn’t predicted this. Either JJ had worked on him and had broken him from this a little, or Eli had never wanted to do it to begin with. The man had been polite from the start and he’d tried to care for them. He’d been the one to give Spencer the blankets after he’d been hosed.

As he gained his feet, a tiny spark of something lit down inside of Spencer. Not hope; not quite yet. But the start of hope. Maybe there was a chance he could still get out of here alive. Maybe, just maybe, he might have an ally he hadn’t expected. Those thoughts bounced in his mind as Eli helped him limp toward the staircase. The potential consumed Spencer, distracting him from the pain, distracting him from the withdrawal that felt as if it was growing inside of him. If he could just figure out some way to get Eli to help him, there was a chance that he might be able to get free. To see his friends again.

When they finally reached the front door, stepping outside, Spencer saw the area around the place for the first time. Wherever they were, there were no houses immediately in view. All he could see were trees and more trees. In front of them was a dark blue Ford Explorer with all the windows tinted. His eyes instinctively sought the plates; XFG-6813.

Marcus hissed for them to get in the damn car while he hurried forward. Eli’s hands stayed gentle at the same time that he picked up the pace, moving Spencer hurriedly forward. The cold air reminded Spencer that he was dressed only in pajama pants; even his feet were bare. The pebbles in the driveway cut into his feet, making him stumble so badly he almost fell. Only Eli’s hands kept him from dropping to the ground over and over. Finally, they reached the car. Marcus was at the back, tossing his bags in, and Eli led Spencer to the backseat, carefully helping him in.

In that moment that Spencer was in his seat and the back hatch closed, before Marcus had made it around the car to the driver’s door, Spencer looked right at Eli and mouthed ‘Help me’. Eli froze, staring at him, his hands suddenly unsure.

The sound of Marcus opening his door and swearing once more spurred Eli back into action. He finished helping Spencer get his legs inside the car. Then he grabbed the seatbelt, pulling it over him and buckling him in. When he was hooking the buckle, it put him right near Spencer’s head. “I’ll try.” He whispered.

That small start of hope was fanned to life, growing inside of him. Maybe, just maybe, he would survive this. Holding tight to that thought, Spencer closed his eyes and did focused all his energy into thinking, to changing around the plans he’d already had in place. Those had been the plans of a man sure he was going to die. Now, they were going to be the plans of a man fighting to live. He just hoped it would be enough.

CMCM

When Emily Prentiss hurried into the hospital room of her Unit Chief, it wasn’t surprising to her to find that he was already sitting up in bed and demanding his clothes from the nurses. Though only two hours had gone by since she’d busted Noah releasing her friends, it had been an interesting two hours for Emily. Dealing with transporting Noah to the Bureau for interrogation, handling the officers that were put on guard for the team just in case they were still at risk, talking to Strauss on the phone to let her know that all agents but Reid were accounted for, and then trying to get the doctors to tell her what was wrong with her friends.

After a while she’d been told that they were going to release most of the agents. None of them had any lasting damage. So Emily had given out their go-bags to the nurses so that her friends could have clothes. One, she’d kept. As soon as she’d been given the ‘all clear’ to visit, she went to see Aaron. If there was anyone that would be able to answer questions, it would be him. Not to mention that Emily was more than willing to hand over the lead in this investigation to him. She trusted his judgment and couldn’t help but think that she’d much rather trust the life of a friend to Aaron than to shoulder the responsibility herself.

Aaron looked up from his argument with the nurse when he saw Emily walk in. “Prentiss.” He said her name almost like it was salvation for a moment. When he saw the go-bag in her hand, he visibly sighed and held his hand out. “My clothes?”

“Yes, sir.” Emily told him easily. She put the bag on the bed beside him, ignoring the glare the nurse sent her way.

The matronly looking woman put her hands on her hips and turned that glare to Aaron. “Agent Hotchner, you need to stay in this bed. The drug has barely cleared your system and you’ve got three bruised ribs! You need to _rest_!”

Aaron didn’t argue with her, didn’t even look her direction. Instead he reached into his go-bag and pulled out a pair of boxers and pants. Emily, seeing the frustration and determination on Aaron’s face, stepped away and put her back to him, allowing him the privacy to get the bottom half of his clothes on. The whole time, she heard the nurse ranting, demanding he stop and get back in bed this instant. Judging by the sounds, Aaron had his bottom half dressed and was working on his top half, so she deemed it safe to turn around.

Buttoning up his shirt, Aaron lifted his eyes to Emily, pinning her with that stare that had cowed so many people. “What exactly happened out there? My memories are slightly hazy.”

“Ours too.” Another voice joined the mix. The door to the room had opened and Derek, Dave, Penelope and JJ came rushing inside. The nurse somehow found herself pushed to the back of the group as they all crowded around the hospital bed, eyes fixed on the dark haired woman. The nurse shook her head, resigned to the fact that no one was going to listen to her. Discreetly she left the room.

Emily tried not to let herself squirm underneath the intense stares she was getting. With a deep breath, she asked “Did he tell you guys what happened to me? How I left?”

“Yes.” Dave said with a grimace. “He told us about the deal he made and about having to drug you.”

“Well, he didn’t give me a high dose, I guess. I kept coming in and out of consciousness in the back of the van. When it stopped, I pretended to still be out. It was easy to do. Eli was so gentle with me when he laid me down. As soon as he was out of the way, I looked at the van and memorized the license plate.” She smiled a little when Derek clapped a hand on her shoulder and Penelope chuckled. Then Emily continued, glossing over some of the finer details “When I finally woke up enough to be coherent, I made my way to the street and flagged down a car for help. They got me to the hospital and I got checked out. Then I went straight to work. Everyone has apparently been looking for us for days now. After a fight with Strauss, I got permission to work the case with Eric’s team; they’re the ones that were looking for us.”

“They’re a good team.” Derek murmured.

Emily nodded at him. “They are. I gave them as much information as I could and we put a BOLO out on the van. But we haven’t been able to find anything that could connect it all. Kevin Lynch was helping us. Just a few hours ago he found three different properties in different locations that could’ve possibly been where we were held. The teams were just getting ready to go when we got the call that our van had been spotted. That’s how SWAT was ready to go so easily. So we went to the location the officer tailing him gave us and, well, when Noah started pulling you guys out, we came out and arrested him.”

For a moment the team just looked at her. Then Aaron gave one of those rare smiles of his that always seemed to make a person want to puff up with pride. “You did exceptionally well, Prentiss. Not everyone would have been able to not only think to get the plate, but remember it.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Suddenly nervous all over again, she looked around at them all, her voice quieter than normal as she asked “What happened after I left?”

It didn’t surprise her that it was Aaron that answered. Everyone else seemed to have suddenly turned to stone; unmoving, their faces hard. “Reid apparently made a deal for our freedom as well.” He explained in a voice that he couldn’t quite keep all the emotion out of. “He came in and drugged us and…said his goodbyes. He doesn’t plan on making it out of this alive, whatever his plan is.”

“I wanna know what the damn deal was this time.” Derek snarled out. His hands were clenched into fists on either side of him. “What the hell is that bastard making him do in return for us being free?”

A choked sob caught all their attention. As one, the group turned to look at JJ. She was holding her hand up to her mouth, tears bright in her eyes. The bruise on her face from being slapped seemed to stand out even more as the rest of her face lost its color. “Marcus isn’t making him do anything.” She whispered through her fingers. The words seemed so loud in the room. Heart breaking, she looked at them all, hating what she had to tell them. “Spence made the offer. He told Marcus that he’d give him the one thing in the world he wanted if he’d let all of us go.”

It didn’t take but a second for them to make the connection. “Gideon.” The name was whispered by them all, a soft curse in the air. For one instant the room seemed to stay frozen .Then everyone was talking at once.

Aaron started handing out orders. “Prentiss, I need you and Rossi to get back to the Bureau. If anyone’s going to be able to get Noah to talk, it’ll be you two. I want you in interrogation. Garcia, I need you to track down Jason. Find him so we can warn him what’s coming. I’d assume that Reid knows how to get a hold of him…”

At the same time, Penelope was pulling her phone from her pocket—Emily had made sure their phones were in each of their go-bags—and she was talking to someone in a voice that was harder and faster than was normal for her.

Mixed in with the chaos were Derek’s protests. “The kid’s got to have a plan, Hotch. No way he just plans on giving up Gideon, no matter what the guy did to him. There’s just no way. He wouldn’t trade Gideon’s lives for ours like that. He just wouldn’t do it!”

As these conversations ran together, each person speaking over top the other, JJ stood by silently, her hand still up at her mouth. She hated herself for it, yet she couldn’t stop her mind from wondering. _Does Spence really have a plan? He’s been through so much here. What if this…what if they finally broke him? What if he doesn’t have any plan but to go and die, or to actually give up Gideon? I hope not. God, I hope not. I want my friend to come home. Please, God, don’t let me lose him_ she prayed fervently.

Yet still, she couldn’t stop herself from thinking that maybe, just maybe, this had broken Spencer enough for him to turn his friend in just to end the pain. And, if it had, could any of them really blame him?


	11. Chapter 11

Was there ever anything harder than waiting? Whether it was waiting for some simple, like a bus or a friend to arrive; or it was something much more serious, like new of a loved one or a life-changing phone call. Either way, the waiting is always the hardest. Always the worst. The mind can do so many things when left to wait and wonder. It can conjure up images that, at a normal time, we would know to be silly or false. But, when a person waits, those things that were once unrealistic suddenly take on a life of their own and become a very, very real possibility.

Even though he knew all of this, knew what the mind was capable of, Jason Gideon couldn’t stop his mind from doing that very thing.

Leaning back in his seat on the jet, Jason closed his eyes and tried to keep his mind from wandering. Tried to stop himself from imagining what was happening at that very moment to a man he had always loved like a son. A man he had walked away from years ago. The whole time he kept his cell phone clutched tightly in his hand, both wanting it to ring and yet dreading the call. He had been holding his cell since he’d rushed from his hours just an hour ago. _Has it only been an hour?_

One again he looked down at the screen as if he could make it ring by will alone. He flipped the phone open and looked at the only contact listed. Only one person had ever used this number, until today. Only one had ever known it. The one he’d specifically bought this phone to talk to. Spencer.

Seeing Spencer’s name listed as a contact was enough to cause Jason to lose the battle with memories. He turned his head, staring out the jet window, his mind replaying everything that had happened in the past hour. Everything had started with one simple little phone call. A call that had changed everything until nothing was simple anymore.

*Flashback*

The sun felt good on the back of his neck as Jason bent over his flowerbed. Near him, the shovel was stuck in the ground, his over shirt hanging off the handle where he’d put it when the sun had become a little too hot. Now he knelt in the dirt, putting his new azalea bush into the freshly dug hole. There was something extremely satisfying about working in the soil. In planting and watching something grow and knowing that you would be there to watch it, year after year. This was just a part of the peace that Jason had found in his small home tucked back in the woods.

As he patted the soil down around his bush, he heard the familiar jingle of his cell phone ringing in the pocket of his over shirt. A smile automatically curved his lips. Though he had no house phone, he did have this one cell phone and he took it with him everywhere. The calls he received weren’t frequent, but they were enough…for the both of them.

He dusted one hand off on his dirty jeans before reaching up and grabbing the phone. He flipped it open and brought it to his ear while he still patted the soil with his free hand. “Hello, Spencer. You wouldn’t believe what it is I’m doing at the moment.”

“No, I’m sure I wouldn’t.” Aaron Hotchner’s cold voice came over the line. In that one single second it was as if the sun was blocked over him. A chill ran down Jason’s spine. Without realizing it, he sat back in the grass, one hand out to brace himself. “Aaron.”

“You’re a difficult man to find, Jason.”

It hurt to hear the voice of the man that had been his friend. But more than that, it hurt to hear the coldness there. He’d thought that maybe Aaron would be the one out of all of them to understand why he’d left. Apparently he was wrong. Right then, he knew he needed to let that go. Aaron calling couldn’t be a good sign. There had to be something wrong for him to take the time to find this number and to make the call. There were only two reasons that Jason could think of that Aaron would do this—one, if Jason was in danger. But then, Spencer would have called. This left option two—Spencer was in danger. “What’s happened to Spencer?” he croaked.

“Does the name Marcus Duran mean anything to you?”

That took him a moment. He wracked his brain, trying to think of where he’d heard it before and how on earth would it be connected to Spencer? It was when he connected the two thoughts together, Marcus and Spencer, that the memory surfaced. “He was a child when I saw him. Spencer and I had to report his father for child abuse. One of the children, the youngest, he died before we could get them out of there. What does Marcus Duran have to do with this? Has he hurt Spencer?”

In a cold, clipped voice, Aaron caught Jason up on everything that had happened to the team. With each new word, each new horror, Jason’s heart ached more and more. When he was done, he bluntly said “There’s a chance that he’s broken, Jason. That he might actually call you and turn you over to them. After everything that’s been done to him, we’re not ruling out this possibility.”

“Spencer’s strong. Aaron.”

Aaron snorted out a harsh laugh. “Strong, yeah. Strong enough to get beaten over and over and drugged. Not just drugged, but to be made to do it himself. I’m sure he’s just a ray of sunshine right about now, Jason.”

The sarcasm was so unlike Aaron that it left Jason speechless. He had never, _never_ , heard Aaron talk that way before. Aaron just kept talking, either oblivious to the silence or uncaring. “We’ve got the jet on the way to pick you up. It should arrive in the next thirty minutes. I suggest you grab some things and meet it there. We’re not handing you over but we need you where we can protect you. There’s no telling what they’ll do if you don’t show and they manage to get your location from him.”

“I’m on my way.” What else was there to say? Jason didn’t even have to think about it. He was rising from the ground, leaving his over shirt hanging on the shovel. As he made his way to the house, he closed his phone, not even bothering to say goodbye. In his mind he started to pray, over and over, the same words. _Let him be ok. Let him be ok._

*End Flashback*

Shuddering, Jason shook his head, pulling himself from his memories. He needed to focus on the here and now. On what he would be able to do to help them bring Spencer back home. If they thought he was really going to fly all the way out there and sit back and do nothing, then they didn’t know him at all. There was no way he could sit there while Spencer was somewhere being hurt. Not if there was a chance he could go to him and help him.

Despite Aaron’s words, Jason knew what he would do if—when—Spencer called him. There was no doubt in his mind. Yes, he understood what Aaron was saying. He understood that there was a large chance he would die if he went to wherever Spencer told him. But did that change things? No, not for him. Plus…there was still a part of him that couldn’t help but think that Spencer was so much stronger than this. The Spencer he knew would have been terrified, yes, but his brain wouldn’t have been able to stop working. IT would have run and run until it found some kind of way to try to get out of the situation. Jason believed, deep in his heart, that Spencer had a plan. It was the hope of that plan that gave Jason the confidence to know that he would go to his friend.

A sudden ring broke through Jason’s musings. Looking down at his phone, he felt his insides give a small quiver. It was time. His moment of truth. Steadying himself, he opened his phone. “Hello, Spencer.” He tried to keep as calm and casual as he possibly could.

The voice that came over the line was both strong and scared all at once. It flashed Jason back to another time, another case, when the balance of this man’s life had hung on the line. “Hey, Gideon.”

Closing his eyes against the memories, Jason didn’t even realize that his hand tightly gripped the armrest. “How’s it going?”

“Well, things have been a bit better. Listen, I know this is short notice and I know it’s beyond surprising, but I need you to do something for me and I need you to do it without asking questions. Can…can you do that for me? Please?”

“Yes.” Just one word. Jason would have answered that way even if he hadn’t known the whole situation.

Relief was evident in Spencer’s voice. “Thank you. Here’s what I need you to do…”

By the time the two hung up, Jason was smiling. He leaned back, once more looking out the window.  This time, fear didn’t clench in his stomach. Hope burned there. Over and over the conversation he’d just had replayed in his mind. It made his smile grow. Before, he had prayed. Now, he knew. Spencer had a plan.

CMCM

“Clear!”

“Clear!”

“Clear!”

“Clear!”

All around the house, voices echoed that single word, each one making the knot in Aaron’s stomach grow tighter and tighter. His hand curled around the doorknob he held, bracing his weight as he stared at the room that had just so recently been their home. Their hell. His eyes traveled over the shackles on the wall, the blankets on the floor, the buckets over in the corner. All the things that had been his world for days. And now it was empty.

A hand rested on his shoulder, firm and supportive. Anyone else and he might have shrugged it off. But he recognized who the hand belonged to and he let it stay there.

“We’ll find him, Aaron.” Dave said. There was a hard edge to his voice that typically wasn’t there. “There are two other locations that Garcia is looking into. He’ll be at one of them and we’ll find him.”

“We’ll be lucky if we make it in time.” Aaron hated to say it, but he knew it was the truth. “I do don’t that we’ll find him. None of us will stop until we do. It’ll just be a matter of finding him in time.”

There was nothing Dave could say to that. It was a fear they all carried in their hearts. So the two simply stood a moment longer, each thinking long thoughts, until the sound of footsteps echoed down the stairs. Gathering his composure, Aaron shut off his emotions and turned to face his team, to face SWAT, as they all made their way down to them.

It had been a hard-won fight to get Strauss to agree to let the team go on this raid at all. She’d tried to claim that they were still injured, traumatized, and wouldn’t be allowed to go into the field again until they’d all been evaluated and approved by a medical doctor and a psychologist. Aaron had gone round and round with her, providing her with medical documentation that freed them to return to duty, albeit cautiously. But she had been holding firm on the psychiatric evaluations. On a different case, Aaron might have agreed. He would have at least understood. But none of them, not a single one, were going to rest until they found Spencer. And they would _not_ sit back and let another group of people do it for them. They would find him. They had to.

When it had seemed like it was hopeless, that he was going to lose the whole argument, Dave had suddenly stepped in. He’d gestured Aaron out of the room and for once, the Unit Chief had been grateful to allow someone else to handle this. His nerves were frayed beyond belief.

Twenty minutes later, Dave had stepped out of Erin’s office and walked straight to Aaron. The nod he’d given was all Aaron had needed. There was a time for questions later; right now, they had an important job to do. Since the SWAT team had been used to come and rescue them as Noah had made the dump, they’d needed to prepare once more to search the three properties that Eric’s team had found. Penelope was doing a more in depth search on them—with JJ discreetly helping her since she technically wasn’t a part of the team anymore—but she had pulled up the information for this one at the office and the whole team had known this was where they needed to go first. Though their memories were hazy, each one recalled vague details about the outside of the house as they’d been hauled to the van. Apparently Spencer had given them a lower dose than they’d all thought. It had allowed them random moments of clarity as they’d been transported.

So, the team had gathered, prepping themselves to travel with SWAT and they had come to this house, praying they would find Spencer. But it was empty. He was gone.

Derek reached the bottom of the staircase first, moving toward Aaron, eyes drifting past him to the room that had held them all. “Nothing?” He growled out. Everything seemed to make Derek growl at the moment. He wouldn’t be the same until his brother was home. None of them would.

“No.” Dave answered him.

None of them had noticed Emily sitting at the computers, but Aaron paid attention now as he heard the clacking of keys. “Prentiss?” He looked over and saw her typing something, a phone cradled to her ear.

“They left their video running, Sir. I’m…” Abruptly she cut off. “PG? Yeah. Ok, can you get in? You got the IP I text you? Good. We need anything that’ll show us what they…what they did with Reid.” She paused, nodding even though she couldn’t be seen. “Ok, thanks.”

When Emily hung up, she turned to look at the silent room around her. “PG says she’ll work through the footage and see what she can get. As soon as she has something, she’ll promise to send it to us. Otherwise, she doesn’t have anything new.”

“Let’s not waste time.” Aaron told the room. “Search around, see if there’s anything you can find that would give us a clue as to where they might go next. Get a CSU here to process the scene. No one mess anything up, but let’s see what we can find. If there’s anything, anything at all, that might lead us to Reid, I want it found now.”

The team split apart, moving to search the small area. SWAT headed back upstairs to deal with getting the CSU for them; Eric’s team agreed to search the upstairs. Aaron’s team was searching the basement.

They’d only been searching for a few moments when Emily’s phone rang. She pulled it out, turning on speakerphone. “What do you have, PG?”

Dave, Aaron, Derek, and Emily all gathered around the phone, eyes locked on it as Penelope’s voice filled the basement. “I went back all the way to where we were…were taken.” She stuttered only for a second before her voice firmed. Fear was gone for Penelope, washed away with determination. She would not break while there was work to be done to find Spencer. “I fast forwarded for a bit until I saw him come in and take Reid. There’s video on your phones.”

Derek pulled his out, holding it up so everyone could see as he opened the file Penelope had sent him. They watched, seeing Spencer lying on the ground, seeing Marcus come in and grab him by his hair. All of them winced at the pain Spencer must have felt when he was dragged from the room.

But Penelope wasn’t done. “I noticed that it took a while for Marcus to come in and take him, so I decided to check a few things. Here’s where it starts getting strange. The time that we were picked up by Emily and everyone was somewhere around ten fifteen and ten twenty this morning. The time that Marcus came to get Reid was ten twenty two.”

Everyone’s eyes lifted to look around at one another. “That’s creepy timing.” Emily said slowly.

“That’s what I thought.” Penelope agreed with her. “But I wasn’t quite sure if it meant anything. I went back through the video just to make sure there wasn’t anything I missed when I was fast forwarding and I realized something. After we were taken out, Reid went and sat down first with the blankets. Then he looked up and looked right at the camera. It was just for a second, but I thought I saw something. So I blew the image up and he’s definitely mouthing something, but I can’t understand what it is.”

This time there was a flash of home amongst the team. Emily’s hand shook just a little. “Can you send it to us, PG? I used to be pretty good at lip reading. I knew a few deaf kids when I was younger.” She asked.

“On its way as of….now.”

Once again Derek pulled up a video on his phone. But this time he held it out so Emily could lean in close and try to see. “Play it again.” She requested. Derek started the short clip over again and Emily stared even harder. This time her eyes went wide and she looked up at them. “Robert Hanssen.”* Her words had everyone’s eyes widening.

“Who is that?” Penelope asked.

Aaron looked down at the phone, digesting the implications of this. “Robert Hanssen is a former agent who spied for Soviet and Russian intelligence services against the United States for 22 years from 1979 to 2001.”* He told her.

“Reid’s telling us there’s a mole.” Derek breathed out. He looked up to the ceiling and then back at them, lowering his voice. “He’s telling us that there’s someone in the Bureau that’s spying. How else would Marcus have known to take Reid away right after we got picked up? Someone called him and tipped him off that Noah got arrested.”

A thoughtful look came over Dave’s face. “When Reid told us the story at the start, about Marcus and his family, he said that Marcus was the oldest of four brothers, right?” When they all nodded, Dave said “Well, the youngest died. Noah wasn’t his brother, but Eli was. That accounts for two of the brothers, but where’s the third? We’re missing one brother.”

The basement went extremely quiet. Aaron took a deep breath, trying to process everything. “We need to get back to the Bureau.” He said finally. His voice was firm and steady. “We’ll figure out more there, but we need to get back to the Bureau. Until I say otherwise, none of you are to speak of this. Garcia, I want you to do a discreet sweep of my office. Make sure there’s nothing in there, do you understand?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Good. Let’s go, everyone.”


	12. Chapter 12

When the elevator doors opened, Penelope stood there waiting, JJ by her side. The remaining members of their team stepped from the elevator and moved directly to the two women. Aaron gave Penelope a serious look, quietly asking “Did you do as I asked?”

“Yes, Sir.” She replied just as seriously.

Nodding, Aaron gestured for his team to follow him. Silent as can be they made their way into the bullpen, passing by other agents that turned to look curiously at the serious, silent BAU team. Everyone made the assumption that the missing Doctor hadn’t been found; that was their explanation for the looks the team wore. In a sense, they were right. But there was so much more to it.

The whole group of them filed into Aaron’s office together, ignoring the stares this brought on. Emily shut the door behind them while Dave moved to close the blinds. Only then did everyone gather close. But instead of Aaron speaking first, it was Penelope. She moved to the couch where a laptop was sitting. It was obvious by the bright pink and purple bag by the laptop that Penelope had been set up in here to work. Her voice was serious as she started to explain to them what she’d been doing.

“After I talked to all of you, I gathered up my laptop and came down here. I made sure the room was safe and clear and then I set up to work here.” She explained as she took a seat on the couch and brought her laptop into her lap. Derek sat down beside her, as did JJ, while Emily took a chair. Aaron and Dave both leaned against the desk, watching the group in front of them.

Tapping a few keys, Penelope started to log back in to her computer. “I did everything I could to make sure my system was secure and I checked for any traces of hacking. Nothing. So, once I was sure I was completely safe, I started a search to see if I could find the other brother. His name is Nathaniel Moses Duran and, as of age eighteen, he vanishes from the face of the earth. No credit card statements, no bills, nothing listed in his name. It’s like he completely disappeared.”

“So how the hell do we find him, then?” Derek asked.

Aaron spoke up, drawing their eyes to him. “Can you bring up everyone that’s been involved in our case since we went missing, Garcia? If he’s feeding them information, there’s a good chance he’s involved in the case itself somehow.”

Her fingers started to fly over the keys.

CMCM

The call came for preparation to land. Jason adjusted himself, pulling on his seatbelt absently, his eyes never leaving the window. The view out there was lost on him; his eyes saw nothing outside. Every bit of his concentration was turned inward as he analyzed his conversation with Spencer from every angle and tried to make sure that there was nothing that he missed. After that, he had thought long and hard about what he needed to do.

There was no doubt in him. He had to go to Spencer. That resolve was sure and firm. But the team, they wouldn’t let him. Jason knew that. There was no way in hell they’d let him simply run off and meet up with Spencer and some crazed Unsub that wanted to kill them both. If it was someone else and Jason was the one in charge, he knew he wouldn’t let that kind of meeting happen either. That meant that he was going to have to figure out a way to sneak away from them.

It wasn’t pleasant for him to think of ways to outwit the group of people who had once been part of his team. Not only them, but another man he’d known back in the day. A man that he hadn’t ever really seen eye to eye with, but he respected. David Rossi. All of these minds combined together were quite a set. It was no wonder that they had such a high success rate on the cases they took on. Spencer had given him their statistics once, but Jason couldn’t remember the exact number. What he remembered was the pride in Spencer’s voice as he’d said it.

And that drew his thoughts full circle back to Spencer. No matter what, he had to get to him. If it meant lying or evading people he had once called friends, then Jason was prepared to do that.

The jet landed and Jason felt as it was slowly brought to a halt before the engines were shut off. Silence surrounded him. It was time to go.

CMCM

Aaron’s office was packed full, each open space taken over by someone with files and printouts. Aaron and Dave were using the desk, pouring over the information on the Duran brothers, trying to compile together anything that they could that might clue them in on the smartest place to go. The other two locations that they’d been given, after further looking in to, made no sense to the team for Marcus to take Spencer to. They weren’t places where he could feel secure at. So that sent them back to square one.

Using the floor, Emily was laying out the different photos taken of the location they’d been held at, hoping she might find a clue somewhere in the images. There were also still shots from the camera at the very end. Those tugged at her heart to see. Spencer looked so much worse than he had when she’d left. _How much longer can he make it?_ She pushed that thought aside. No. They would find him. They _would_!

Derek and JJ were looking through the lists of names of who had contact with this case in any way, shape or form. From there they were trying to narrow down their potential mole. If it was the other brother, then they could rule out all the females. So first and foremost they separated the names and gathered up the men. Then they could narrow it down by age.

At the same time, Penelope had a program on her computer running to try and age the picture of Nathanial Duran from the only picture she had of him at age fifteen.  Looking at the photo, she spoke before thinking. “Do you realize how young these men are?” she said softly. “Marcus…he seemed so much older in there. But he’s only twenty two. How did someone so young plot this out so well? He was just seventeen when his youngest brother died.”

“He may be young, but he’s intelligent.” Derek said without looking up from his paperwork.

Emily’s head shot up. “Wait a second.” Her voice was surprised and her eyes wide when they looked at her. “Garcia’s right. Marcus, he was the oldest of them and they were all minors when this happened. That would mean…Nathanial is only like, what, twenty? He can’t be a Bureau employee. You have to be twenty three to become an agent.”

“He could still work here.” JJ added in. “Maybe in something like the mailroom, or a janitor, or something small like that. It would allow him access to the building. He could have someone on the inside that he’s blackmailing for the information or he could be here, wandering around, watching us. Watching and gathering information.”

This new piece of information left them stunned. How could they not have thought of that already? They’d become so wrapped up in finding their mole that they’d allowed it to blindside them.

Before they could gather themselves once more, Penelope’s gasp filled the room. Five sets of eyes shot right to her. She sat, staring at her laptop, one hand covering her mouth. “Oh my God.” She whispered. “I…I did a search on family for them, extended it even further. Apparently their dad, he had a brother. Not a real brother, but a step brother at one point in time. Just in case I brought his information up to look at it. His…his picture….” She turned the laptop toward the room, showing them all the face on the screen. The entire room was stunned as they stared at that face.

A knock on the door interrupted the horrified silence. Derek reached out, slapping the laptop shut, hiding the face on the screen. Emily quickly gathered together the images on the floor into a pile that she flipped over. Files were snapped quickly shut. Only once all this was done did Aaron call out “Come in!”

One of the agents from Eric’s team, a man by the name of Jesse, opened the door and stepped in. “Agent Hotchner? We just got the call to say that the jet’s arrived with Jason Gideon. They’re landing as we speak.”

“Thank you, Jesse.” Aaron told him. He looked around at his team, an unspoken warning passing between them. They will deal with this, but there are other things that need dealt with too. “Morgan, Prentiss, I want you to go and pick him up. The rest of us will stay here and continue the angle we’re working on.” His words were cautious, mindful of the man still in the door. Derek and Emily rose, nodding that they understood. They would get Gideon and come back and then…then they would find a way to deal with this.

CMCM

With a single bag slung over his shoulder, Jason stepped off of the jet and onto the airstrip. He felt his stomach clench when he saw the dark SUV waiting for him. _Damn_ he thought. _I was hoping they’d take a little bit to get here. How am I supposed to get away from them now?_ He was going to have to fall on plan B. HE had quite a few ideas on how to evade this team of profilers. The trick would be pulling it off without them noticing anything. They were all brilliant; tricking them wouldn’t be easy.

As he made his way to the SUV, the passenger door opened. Jason walked right to it, ready to sling his bag in. When he saw someone at the wheel he didn’t recognize, he hesitated. Something about the man’s expression didn’t seem right. “Hello.” He said carefully.

“Hello, Agent Gideon.” The man said in a soft voice. The tone to his words was gentle and almost…apologetic. That bad feeling in Jason’s stomach grew even more. Something definitely wasn’t right and he had a bad feeling he knew why. He straightened his spine and looked the man right in the eyes. “You’re not from the Bureau.”

“No, Agent Gideon, I’m not. I’m here to help you, Agent. The question is, will you let me?”

Help him? Jason turned his head a little, glancing at him sideways, trying to understand what was going on here. “Help me? I assumed you were working with Marcus.”

The man gave him a sad smile. “Oh, I am, Agent. I am. My brother sent me to come and fetch you. He doesn’t trust that you’ll come like Dr. Reid said you would.”

There was something about the way that he said Spencer’s name that gave Jason pause. There was no hatred there, as he would have expected. No anger, even. Just sadness and worry. Had Spencer managed to break this man away from his brother? Did Spencer, against all odds, have an ally? Jason couldn’t help the small surge of pride he felt at that. The young man he had taken under his wing had grown so much. _Without you_ his mind taunted him.

“And how is it that you plan on helping me?” Jason tried to keep calm and keep his profiling skills sharp. He was going to need them at their best if he wanted to accomplish anything. Failure at this meant not only his death, but the death of one of the most important people in his life. He could not fail. “And why should I believe anything you say?”

Still smiling, the man shook his head. “You have no reason to trust me. There’s absolutely nothing to tell you that you should trust some barely legal kid, Agent. But, think on this. There is a team of Agents on their way to pick you up and they’ll be here any minute. You’ve got a decision to make. Get in and save Spencer’s life, or wait here for the other Agents and doom him to death.”

Despite the coldness that gripped Jason’s heart, his voice was steady. “He’ll die either way. Isn’t that the plan?”

And suddenly there’s something there in the man’s look, something that he can’t say, and Gideon knows. He looks this boy, and it can only be the eighteen year old Eli, right in his eyes and gives him a nod. Then he slides into the car, shutting the door behind him and setting his bag on the floor. Neither of them spoke as Jason put his seatbelt on and Eli took them away from the jet and out onto the road.

CMCM

When Derek parked the car outside the jet, he couldn’t help scanning the area around him. The airstrip was quiet He looked over at Emily and saw that she must have been feeling the same thing. The two of them climbed from the car, both pulling their guns. Together they silently made their way to the jet, guns at the ready as they stepped inside. They couldn’t explain this bad feeling, but they’d both been in law enforcement long enough to know that sometimes you just had to indulge that instinct. It could end up saving your life.

Once they were on the jet, they knew something wasn’t right. It was completely empty. The pilot was already gone and there was no sign of Jason Gideon anywhere. The two went outside, looking around them, trying to see if maybe he wandered, even though they knew he hadn’t. “He’s gone.” Derek finally said.

Emily looked over at him. “Did he leave on his own, though, or was he taken away?”

“I don’t know, but I know one thing.” Derek reached into his pocket, pulling out his cell phone. After pressing the button for one of his speed dials, he put the phone to his ear. After a moment someone on the other end of the phone answered. Derek looked around again, eyes scanning the area for movement and seeing nothing. There was no one here.

“Hotch, we got a big problem.”

CMCM

It was way, way too hot. That was the prominent thought in Spencer’s mind when he woke once more. Everything was way too hot. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought that someone had turned the heat up in the room. He would have thought he’d been stuffed inside of an oven to try and bake him alive. At least, he would have if he wasn’t a logical person who knew exactly where he was and what was wrong with him. _I can’t even manage to be properly delusional without logic ruining it in some way_ his mind said with a sigh.

Yes, he knew who he was and he knew where he was. He was curled up on dirty blankets on yet another cold floor, his wrists handcuffed to the pipe in front of him as they had been since his arrival. Where he was, as in a precise location, he had absolutely no idea. Some house out in the middle of nowhere; that much he’d seen as he, Marcus and Eli had arrived. But then he’d been forced inside the rundown house and down into yet another basement. There Marcus had forced him to his knees on the dirty blankets and used a pair of handcuffs to secure him to a sturdy pipe. Then he’d left. Only once had he come back, to taunt Spencer with the fact that the team had arrived at the house only an hour after they’d left. When he saw his taunts were getting no response, he had left once more.

Since then, Spencer had been stuck down here, all alone, slowly going out of his mind. That sensation terrified him more than anything else could have. To try and force it back, to keep as much of his sanity as possible, he focused on the hope that Eli would be able to help him. On the hope that Gideon understood his message. If he did, they might stand a chance on getting out of here. Spencer even focused on the small amount of hope that the team might have seen the message he left for them and that they would understand. Or that, hope of all hopes, they might find him here.

Penelope would have found his whispered comment. Yes, she would have seen it. She was such a bright girl. Even if she hadn’t understood what it meant, the others would have. Then they would know to be careful. The only thing that made sense to Spencer, the one thing that made it all add up right in his mind, was that there was someone on the inside. He prayed they’d be able to find who it was.

Even as the sweat poured off of him, Spencer’s body gave a convulsive shiver that filled him with pain and yanked him right out of his thoughts. Everything on him _hurt_ , so much. It was becoming too hard to keep his strength up against the pain and the craving that were ripping him to shreds both inside and out. Without his team there as a support system, he didn’t have anywhere to draw strength from. He was alone here. So alone.

Spencer knew infection had set in somewhere. He shouldn’t have been as hot as he was. With only thin, dirty blankets under him and just a pair of pants, he should have been absolutely freezing. The withdrawals should be making him run between hot and cold. But neither was happening. He just felt so hot it was like his skin was stretched tight and burning over him, ready to break in an instant. To crack and tear apart. Yet at the same time, goose bumps stood up on his skin and he couldn’t stop the shivers. The only logical reason was that one of his wounds was infected.

Between the shivers from the cold and the muscle spasms of his detoxing, sleep was almost impossible. _All in all, you’re a pathetic lump of flesh that’s simply waiting to die, Spencer Reid_ The taunt slipped through his mind like acid. _Why bother fighting it? You know you’re not getting free. You know you’re going to die here anyways .Why not just let go now and let it be over with?_

 _No!_ The other part of him shouted. _I will not give up. I will not!_

“You’re pathetic. Of course you’ll give up.”

Blinking, Spencer looked up, staring at the last figure he’d ever thought he’d see. “Dad?” He croaked out. _Oh God, either the infection is bad or the withdrawals are or…or I’m actually going crazy. I’m hallucinating!_

His father crossed his arms and glared down at him. “Don’t call me that. No son of mine would have been this weak. This _pathetic_. Why can’t you just be normal like everyone else?” William Reid snarled at him. His face was furious. “Why’d you always have to be a freak? You’re weak.”

“I’m sorry, Dad. I’m sorry.” This time Spencer’s pain was purely internal. He closed his eyes against the waves of it.

“You’re all weak.” Another voice taunted. Spencer didn’t open his eyes. He knew that voice. Knew the words intimately; they had haunted his dreams thousands of times.

Another voice, softer, slightly scared. “Tell me it doesn’t help?”

“It does, Tobias.” Spencer murmured. “It helps.” Oh, it did. And he wanted its help right now. Desperately.

Yet another voice, louder than the others, firmer. “Reid! Snap out of it!” Derek bellowed at him. The sheer command in his words had Spencer’s eyes snapping open once more. Where his Dad had been before, Derek now stood there, hands on his hips and glaring down at him. “Come on kid.” Derek urged him. “You can make it. Don’t you have faith in us? Can’t you hold on till we get there? We’re coming for you, little bro. You just hang in there, you hear me?”

Spencer felt a corner of his mouth quirk. He knew he was hallucinating, yet that didn’t stop it from making him smile. That was exactly how Derek would speak to him if he were there at the moment. “I’m trying.” He told his hallucination. If he was going to see things and hear things, he might as well answer them, right? And he’s always tried to be honest with Derek. “It’s hard, Morgan. It…it hurts.”

“I know. Just hold on a little bit longer. You can do it, Reid. You’re so strong.”

“No, I’m not.” He shook his head in denial. “I’m not strong.”

Derek looked even angrier. “You are too! Why can’t you see that? Your Dad didn’t beat you down. None of the bullies in your life ever managed to beat your spirit. Tobias didn’t manage to get you down. Hell, kid, even anthrax didn’t get you down for long! You are one of the strongest kids I know. Don’t you dare give up now to this punk. Play the games he wants to play. Show him you still have backbone so he’ll keep you alive longer, Reid. You know how it works.”

“I know.”

“Let him think you aren’t broken yet. That’ll stall for time for us. We’re going to find you, Spencer Reid. And when we do, I’m going to kick your ass for doubting me.”

A rattle from the door drew Spencer’s attention away from his hallucinations. Marcus was coming. Off to his side, the image of Derek slipped away, fading into the darkness. Spencer’s focus was now entirely on the door.

But, when that door opened, it wasn’t Marcus that walked in. It was Jason Gideon. He strolled in as if it was just another day at the office, walking as easily back into Spencer’s life as he’d walked out of it, like there wasn’t a care in his world. The door slammed shut behind him. Spencer paid no attention to anything else but drinking in the sight of his friend. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from him as Jason made his way across the basement.

Squatting down beside him, Jason looked Spencer over from head to toe, looking as if he, too, were drinking in the sight of his friend. “Jesus, Spencer.” The words slipped out softly. “You look horrible, son.”

Anger suddenly boiled bright in Spencer. “Gee, you think?” He snapped. They hadn’t seen one another in years and that was the first thing that Jason could think of to say to him? “How about we trade places and you get beat up and drugged for a few days and we’ll see how well you look.”

Jason didn’t flinch from Spencer’s tirade. He simply folded himself down to the ground, crossing his legs under him, adjusting so the position was as easy as possible on his joints. Spencer watched him and had to resist sighing. Jason hadn’t deserved that kind of attitude. “Sorry, Gideon.” He finally mumbled to him. “I…I’m having trouble controlling the mood swings.”

“Between the situation, the physical and emotional trauma and the drugging, I’d be more surprised if you were a ray of sunshine, Spencer. You won’t hurt my feelings by snapping at me a few times.” Jason told him calmly. That calmness was enough to relax Spencer a little more and have him trying to smile. It may not have been a great smile, but it was the best he’d done since his friends had left.

Jason reached a hand out, patting it against Spencer’s thigh. “Don’t worry, Spencer. The team is going to find us. You know they will. Just hold on a little longer.” He didn’t bother with the usual lines that people shared. No ‘I’m glad to see you’ or anything of the like. In the situation they were in, those would have sounded absurd. Plus, they were two men who focused more on practical things than the emotional. Together, they would focus on what to do and later, if there was a later, they would discuss the rest. At least, that was how it usually worked.

But, even trying to focus on the practical, some of the emotional tried to slip out. “I’m tired of holding on.” Spencer admitted to him in a harsh whisper. “I’m so damn tired of this, Gideon.”

“You’re stronger than you think you are. I know you can make it through this.”

There it was again. First, his hallucination of Derek insisting that he was strong. Now Gideon was here, telling him the same thing. Spencer was tired of hearing it. He was tired of being told how strong he was when he felt so damn weak! Jerking his hands and making the cuffs rattle, Spencer snarled at the man that had once been his mentor. “You have no idea, Gideon! You haven’t been here! You haven’t seen what I’ve done. What I’ve been through since you left! You have no idea what you’re talking about! Look at me! Do I look strong to you?”

“Spencer…”

The sound of the door to the basement unlocking and opening drew their attention away from their argument. Silently the two watched as the door opened and Marcus walked in.

“I have to say that listening to you two argue was quite a pleasant surprise.” Marcus said with a laugh as he made his way into the room. “Please, don’t stop on my account.”

Spencer almost snarled as he looked up at the man, feeling his temper still reaching high. “Go to hell.” He sneered. The words had Marcus startling and even Jason looked surprised to hear Spencer speaking that way. Marcus took a step forward, his hand tightening around his ever present gun. The humor on his face had faded away to the hard look of anger. “I thought we broke you of this attitude?” The man whispered.

“Did you?” Spencer chuckled and rolled his eyes. _Remember what Morgan said. Or…your hallucination of Morgan. Either way, what he said made sense. Play his game; let him see you have a backbone. It’ll keep you alive longer_. “You’re an even bigger idiot than I realized.I _let_ you think what you wanted before because it made things easier.” Pausing, Spencer let his grin grow a little before he continued, putting on a much braver front than he felt. “I’m going to die now. What do I have left to lose? I’ll die with my pride, at least.”

For just a second it looked like Marcus was going to raise his gun and shoot them. There was absolute fury shining in his eyes. But suddenly, it vanished. “Pride, hm? Do you have pride, Dr. Reid? Is that what you have?” Abruptly he turned and moved to the door. Instead of going out, he reached for something on the other side. When he leaned back in, he had a sharp looking hunting knife in his hands. “You have far too much pride.” Marcus said as he made his way back toward them.

Panic wanted to creep in but Spencer kept playing his part. He had to; if he broke at all, there would be no coming back for him. He would shatter completely. So he had to be hard right now. Harder than ever. “What, are we playing seven deadly sins now, Marcus?” He let his lips form a smirk. “Shall I name off the sins you’re guilty of?”

“Oh, I don’t think so, Dr. Reid. This has nothing to do with the seven deadly sins, though there is a nice correlation there, is there not? Still, I think we’ll stick with this. Pride is the reason you’re here, isn’t it? Pride was your downfall. It was what got my brother killed. It was what made it so easy to kidnap you and so easy to torture you. Pride has been your enemy this entire time.” Shaking his head, Marcus finally turned to look at Gideon. He held out his hand, offering Gideon the knife, hilt first. His other hand pointed the gun right toward Spencer’s head. “I think this is an appropriate way to start this, Agent Gideon. I want you to carve the word pride in Dr. Reid. That way, those that find his body will know the reason he died.”

Jason stared at Marcus with horror. “What?” His cool composure was gone for just a moment before it settled back over his face. He folded his hands in his lap and gave Marcus a steady stare. “No.”

“No?” Marcus looked from his gun to Spencer and then over to Jason. “Maybe you don’t understand. Do it, or I shoot him.”

“I will not do this.” Jason looked at the knife and shook his head. “We’re both going to die here. What makes you think I’ll mutilate him before we do? The idea is absurd.”

The sound of Spencer rattling his cuffs against the pipe seemed extremely loud. “Give me the damn knife and _I’ll_ do it.” He snapped at the both of them. As terrifying as the idea was, the last thing he wanted was to sit here while it was debated. He knew Marcus and he knew what the man was capable of. He knew that Marcus would shoot if his orders weren’t followed. And, as much as Spencer hated what was about to happen, he knew that they still needed to stall for time. There were so many options in how they might be able to get out of here. His hope was too strong to just give up.

Marcus laughed at Spencer, a grin stretching over his lips. “Let you have the knife and unhook you so you can do this? I don’t think so, Dr. Reid .You wouldn’t hesitate to stab me with this.”

“And what makes you think I won’t?” Jason asked calmly.

“Because you’re not broken yet, Agent Gideon, and you still think you’ll survive. Hope gives me power. You know I mean it when I tell you that, if you try anything, I’ll shoot him. And you don’t want me to shoot him. He doesn’t care anymore. As much as he claims he’s not broken yet, a part of him is.” The sneer on Marcus’s face grew more pronounced. “The threat wouldn’t work on him. But it will on you.”

For a long minute the basement was silent. Spencer and Jason locked eyes and it was as if a thousand things passed between the two without a single word. Spencer nodded ever so slightly at the man that had been his mentor. He gave a silent permission for him to do what had to be done while, at the same time, the nod also told Jason that Spencer still held hope, even if his words had said otherwise. Jason knew that they needed to stall and, to do that, they had to play this man’s game. His eyes moved quickly to the gun, Marcus, and then back over to Spencer, his unspoken question easy for Spencer to read. With another nod, Spencer let him know that, yes, Marcus would shoot if he wasn’t listened to.

Resignation settled over Jason’s face before it hardened once more. Silently he turned and reached out, taking the knife from Marcus.

The grin Marcus wore was full of sick pleasure. “Stomach, please.” He said happily. “I want it where everyone will see it.”

Jason turned back to Spencer, his gaze steady as their eyes met once more. Spencer shifted just enough that his stomach was exposed. “Do it.” He whispered.

With a steady hand, Jason laid the knife against Spencer’s skin.

CMCM

The sound of the knife clattering to the ground was obscenely loud. It seemed to echo through Spencer’s brain. He took a deep breath, trying to gather control once more; to bring himself back to the present moment. His stomach was now throbbing, hot and sharp, to match the pain in his back. His entire world seemed to revolve solely around pain now. Everything was centered on that. Breathing around it, thinking through it, moving in spite of it.

“Spencer. Spencer!”

Jason’s hands were so hot against Spencer’s cheeks. He tried to pull his head back away from that heat. _No, please. It’s too hot. Please._ But those hands didn’t leave. They were holding him there as Jason kept calling to him in a stern, insistent voice.

Somehow, Spencer forced his mouth to work and words slid past his gritted teeth. “I’m fine.” There, that should ease Jason some. He was talking, wasn’t he? The pain was slowly becoming easier to manage. He opened his eyes, looking up into Jason’s concerned ones. He made himself repeat his words a little steadier when he saw just how worried Jason was. “I’m fine, Gideon.”

A loud gasp drew the attention of the three men. Turning his head, Spencer saw Eli standing in the doorway, eyes wide and mouth open. His eyes were locked on Spencer’s stomach. “Jesus, Marc. What’d you do to him?”

Marcus looked suddenly furious once more. “Stay out, Eli. If you can’t stomach it, then get the hell out of here!”

It was a surprise to Marcus when Eli suddenly firmed his spine. His eyes lifted off of Spencer. They moved, locking on to his brother with a strength that typically wasn’t there. “No, Marc.” He said softly. “No, I won’t. I can’t let you do this anymore.”

“What?” Marcus seethed.

Trying to fight down the pain, Spencer shifted his weight. “Eli, no.” He moaned out. This was not the time for Eli to make his stand. Marcus would kill him without hesitation. It was written clearly in eyes that suddenly seemed a little darker; a little more evil. But Eli didn’t pay Spencer any attention. He had finally reached his breaking point. There would be no going back for him.

He shook his head at his brother.  “I can’t do this! Let them go, Marcus. This is enough! Just let them go!”

“The hell I will!” Marcus bellowed loudly. He waved his gun at Spencer. “This little shit is the reason our brother is dead! Did you forget that? Did you forget that it’s all his fucking fault? Him and that damn old man over there!”

“It wasn’t their fault, Marc! It was Dad’s fault.” Holding his hands out, Eli took a step forward. “His, Marc. No one else’s. This guy, he doesn’t hurt people. He’s a _cop_ , man. He _helps_ people. Look at him! Look at him and tell me he’s a bad guy. Look at everything he’s done, everything he _let_ you do, just to protect the people he considers family. Even if it was his fault, I just can’t do this anymore. Not when I’ve seen what kind of person he is. He doesn’t deserve to die, Marcus. I can’t let you.”

The rage on Marcus’s face slowly transformed into something colder, something harder. His gun shifted directions. “Then you can join him.” He whispered.

What happened next came so fast that Spencer couldn’t keep track of it all. One minute Marcus was moving the gun to point at Eli—the next, the two were flying to the ground, wrapped tightly around one another and rolling all over the place, each wrestling to gain control of the gun. In the chaos, Jason shifted his weight, his body now guarding Spencer’s. There was no way that they could run, not with Spencer’s hands still chained to the pipe. So they were forced to stay there and watch and wait. Spencer could tell by the way Jason was holding himself that the older man was prepared to dart in and help if it looked like he could. The knife he’d used on Spencer’s stomach was held in his hand now, prepared to defend them both.

Everything in Spencer’s world seemed to freeze when he heard the gun go off once, twice, three times. The sound was so loud in the confined space that, for a moment, Spencer felt deaf. His eyes slammed shut on the pain that suddenly was bouncing in his ears and off the inside of his skull. When they opened once more, he was terrified of what he would see.

Nothing could have prepared him. Eyes wide, Spencer looked around him, his own pain forgotten as he took in the scene before him. There was blood everywhere—splattered on the walls, on the ground, pooling from the two bodies lying so still. And over them stood one man, the gun still in his hand. Their eyes met and Spencer couldn’t stop the words that slipped past his lips. “Oh my God.”


	13. Chapter 13

The slip into unconsciousness had been so quick, so sudden, Spencer had never even noticed it happening. When he was slowly starting to wake, he realized that things were different, that he wasn’t where he had been. Even without his eyes opened, he knew he was someplace different. It felt almost like a car. What was going on? Was he being transported somewhere else? That would make it so much harder for his team to find him.

There was a voice speaking to him, saying his name in such a gentle tone, but he didn’t know who it was. Did it matter? Did anything matter? His brain felt so fuzzy and unsure. Nothing seemed quite right. Maybe he was hallucinating again. Maybe the infection had progressed and his fever was putting him into full blown delusions. He wondered vaguely if a person could be in a delusion and actually be able to know that it was a delusion.

Hands were on his arms, pulling at him, and suddenly he felt the ground under his feet. His legs didn’t seem to want to work, though. Spencer let his eyes open and look down at his feet. They were on the ground all right. But they didn’t want to hold him up. It was kind of like he was floating at the same time that his body was aching.

“Come on…need to move….just hold on…”

The disjointed voice was back again, prompting him, even as the hands that had pulled him out were now trying to hold him up. Pain grew suddenly when one of his arms was lifted and placed around something and someone’s arm went across his back. He couldn’t stop the sharp cry that slid past his lips. Oh, it hurt! What was going on? Who was hurting him? Hadn’t he…hadn’t he been in a basement? With Marcus and Jason and Eli? Or had that been another hallucination like the one he’d had of Derek? Had all of this been a hallucination?

No! He remembered being on the floor, chained to a pipe. He remembered Jason carving that word into his stomach. But…it was so fuzzy after that. Something had happened; he knew that. Something big. But, what?

“Almost there. Just a little further….gonna help you…almost there.”

 _Ok_ he wanted to tell the voice. _I’m walking. I’m trying._ But each step was a new experience in agony. Whoever was holding him up was doing most of the work. Spencer couldn’t seem to make his legs function. His brain wanted to slide back down into oblivion. It had been so much more peaceful there. He hadn’t been in this kind of pain. Yet, he kept trying to put one foot in front of the other, instinctively obeying this voice that spoke to him.

There was a strange sound and then the voice was shouting. What was it saying? “Help me! Please, I need help here!” Oh, he was asking for help. Spencer vaguely wondered what was going on. Why did the voice need help?

The darkness was coming back, singing a sweet song of release to him. With a sigh, Spencer stopped trying to walk, to move, and let himself happily sink back down. Maybe when he woke up again, things would make sense once more.

CMCM

Section Chief Erin Strauss stared at the two men sitting across from her. All the information they’d brought with them had been laid out on her desk. The words they’d said still seemed to echo around them all. She could hardly believe it. “How did your technical analyst not see this earlier?” she said slowly.

“She only discovered the step brother when we were Aaron’s office.” Dave answered her. He crossed his legs, resting his hands in his lap. “The initial search was done by Kevin Lynch and he was working under a time constraint, so he hadn’t dug that deeply yet. Penelope started to dig deeper when nothing else was panning out. That was how she discovered the Dad’s step-brother. Once she discovered him, she pulled up his basic information. It included a picture.” He gestured toward the picture that was lying on Erin’s desk.

The three looked at that photo once more. Erin shook her head again, almost unable to believe it. “He’s been our employee for years now.”

“He joined about a year after Reid did.” Aaron said. His voice was hard with the anger he was trying to suppress.

“Are you positive he’s part of this?”

Dave scoffed lightly. “He’s a relative of theirs, Erin. It can’t be a coincidence that he’s related to our Unsubs and also working on our case.”

She sat back in her chair and looked from one man to the other. “This has to be done discreetly.” She finally told them. “On the off chance that we’re wrong, I don’t want a huge deal made out of this. If we’re right, then we don’t want to give him the opportunity to alert them that he’s been compromised. We don’t need to put Dr. Reid at even more risk.”

Without warning, the door to Erin’s office flew open. They all whipped round, Erin immediately flipping over the picture on her desk. They barely had a chance to blink before Derek was there in the doorway, hands gripped tightly on the doorframe. The look on his face was enough to cut off Erin’s protests. They could only stare as Derek spoke the words that changed everything around them. “We’ve got Reid.”

“What?” Aaron shot to his feet, his heart racing. HE didn’t even notice Dave and Erin rising as well. All his attention was focused on his Agent.

“We’ve got him.” Derek repeated. There was a smile on his face and worry in his eyes. “Someone from the hospital called to say they had a Dr. Reid and they were told to call here to let us know. I spoke with the woman and asked her a few questions to verify. It’s him, Hotch. They have him. She wouldn’t’ tell me how he was, but she said he’s alive.”

 “Gideon?”

“They didn’t say. They just said a man brought him in.” Derek replied quickly.

Erin looked from one to the other and made a shooing gesture with her hands. “I’ll take care of this, Agents.” She said as she gestured to the overturned photo on her desk. “Go on to the hospital. Your teammate needs you more than the Bureau does right now. Go.”

The kindness of the gesture was surprising coming from her of all people, but the three men gave her a smile before they turned and raced from the room as a group. Erin watched them leave and finally saw what it was that Aaron had been telling her for so long. It was easy to see in the way they’d raced out of the room. It had been there in Derek’s face when he’d told them that Spencer was alive. And it was there in the horror in their eyes when they’d told her of what had been done to Spencer. These people were not a team. They were a family. She said a quick prayer that their youngest member would be ok.

Picking up her phone, Erin straightened her spine and prepared to do what needed to be done. “Jessica? Yes. I need you to ask Agent Eric to come and speak with me, please. Also, once you have him on his way, discreetly bring security to wait outside my door, please….”

CMCM

The drive to the hospital had never seemed so slow before. By the time the team arrived, they were beyond anxious, each one of them practically racing from the parking lot to the entrance. They moved as a group, not even thinking about it as they moved around people, shifting this way and that to make their way through the crowd, yet always coming back together. They showed no hesitation at making their way right up to the nurses’ desk and stepping in front of the people that were in line there.

Before anyone could protest, each one of them pulled out their credentials, showing them to the nurses there. Aaron closed his after a second, putting it into his pocket. “My name is Aaron Hotchner. I received a call saying that you have one of my agents here. A Dr. Spencer Reid.” He said stiffly.

The nurse stared at him for a moment, gaping slightly in surprise at the amount of badges she’d just been flashed. When Aaron leveled her with one of his sternest glares, she jumped slightly and quickly typed in her computer. After a second she raised her face to look at him again. “Your Agent is still back with the doctor, Sir. I’ll let the doctor know you’re waiting out here and have him come out as soon as he’s finished with the patient. If you’ll just take a seat over in the waiting area, we’ll send him in to you as soon as we can.”

“Was there anyone else brought in with him?” Dave asked her.

She looked back at the file and nodded. “Yes. There was a man that brought him in. He wasn’t admitted with him, though.”

Another one of the nurses turned to look at them. “You’re the people here for Dr. Reid?” She said curiously. At their nods, she pointed to the door leading to the waiting room. “The guy that dropped him off is waiting in there.”

“Thank you, Ma’am.” Aaron told her politely. He was already moving, his team right behind him. They went straight to the door that the nurse had gestured to. Aaron pushed it open and stepped inside. What he saw was not what he’d been prepared to see. He stood in the center of the room for one long minute, staring. As the others stopped as well, the silence seemed to fill the waiting room. The other people in there were watching them, staring back and forth between the group standing and the man that slowly rose from his chair.

Dave was the first one to move. He walked forward, drawing his cuffs from the back of his jeans. He didn’t hesitate to walk forward and spin the man, pushing him against the wall so that he could grab his wrists and cuff him. There wasn’t a single protest. “Eli Duran, you’re under arrest. You have the right to remain silent…”

CMCM

As soon as Dave was done reciting Eli’s rights, Aaron gestured to Derek to step forward, murmuring “Hold him for a moment.” He watched Derek give a nod before stepping up to take control of Eli, earning himself a strange look from Dave. Before Dave could say anything, Aaron called him name and gave him a ‘come here’ gesture. The two senior profilers stepped off to the side, away from the team and the others in the waiting room.

“I haven’t heard anything from Strauss yet.” Aaron murmured as quietly as possible. He cast a look in the direction of the others, trying to make sure no one but Dave could hear him. “There’s no telling at the moment what exactly is going on at the Bureau. Until we’re sure, I don’t feel secure in sending Eli there. There are too many risks.”

Dave blew out a breath as he thought about Aaron’s words. After a second his face firmed and he gave a nod. “I’ll take him over.” He said. Before Aaron could say anything, Dave added “But you call me the instant we know _anything_ about Reid. Anything. And as soon as one of you gets to see him, you come down and relieve me so I can get back here. If I find things are secure there, I’ll leave him in proper custody and come right back. The interview can wait or it can be given to an agent we trust.”

“Agreed.” A hard look passed over Aaron’s face as he turned back toward their prisoner. “But first, there’s one important thing.” Without hesitation he walked over to Eli, not stopping until he was directly in front of him. “You’ve proven that all you want to do is help, Eli. I’m asking you to help us now. Where is Jason Gideon?” Even as he asked the question, Aaron was afraid he knew the truth. When he saw the look on Eli’s face, he knew his fears were right.

Eli looked down and sighed out a breath. “Agent Gideon and Marcus are dead.” He whispered. “I checked them before I brought Dr. Reid here. I’ll tell your agents where to go find them.” Lifting his eyes, he stared right at Aaron, his expression tortured. “I refuse my right to a lawyer. I’ll tell you all anything you want to know. Please, just…just let me know if Dr. Reid makes it out of this ok. He, he was delusional at the end. I think his fever got too high. Please, let me know how he’s doing and I’ll give you guys anything you want. Anything.”

“Agent Rossi is going to take you to the Bureau and you’ll be put into interrogation. You agree to answer all questions you’re asked?”

“Yes.”

“And you’ve waived your right to have a lawyer present?”

Eli’s voice was steady once more. “Yes.”

Nodding, Aaron looked at the young man and felt a small swell of pity for him. This boy had been part of something evil, yes, but in the end he had done what was right. During their captivity, Eli had never hurt them. In little ways, he’d helped them. Staring at him now, Aaron couldn’t bring himself to hate this young man. “The instant that we know anything, I will make sure someone lets you know, Eli.”

Relief filled Eli’s face and relaxed his muscles. “Thank you, Agent Hotchner.”

When Dave took hold of Eli again it was with gentle hands. The two silently left the waiting room, making their way outside. That left Aaron, Derek, Emily and Penelope still standing inside the waiting room, being watched nervously by a middle aged man and a married couple. The team moved to the other side of the room to try and ease the obvious discomfort of those around them. They each took a seat to prepare themselves for the wait ahead of them. Aaron sat in a chair while Emily and Penelope and Derek took the bench seat.

To those watching, it almost looked as if the four were made of stone, rarely moving in their vigil. Their eyes stayed trained on the door that led back to the exam rooms. But occasionally, something bled through, showing the emotion that ran underneath them. It showed in the way that Derek reached over to lace his fingers together with Penelope’s, their joined hands resting on the armrest between them. Or in the way that Emily let her hand rest on Penelope’s shoulder. Someone that knew them would have recognized these signs and most likely been shocked by them. Most especially when Aaron reached a hand over the armrest to lay it comfortingly on Emily’s leg. When she laid her hand over top of his, he didn’t say a word. They were all connected, a single unit watching and waiting.

Their kidnapping, the ordeal they’d lived through in that basement, had forged even stronger bonds than they’d had before. The walls that were usually erected between them hadn’t just been taken down, but had been ripped down. They had been to hell together and it had changed them all. Some in large ways and some in small. Now, in this time of fear, they held no qualms about seeking comfort from one another. For days their only comfort had been each other. Their only solace had been in the closeness and the touch of each other. Now that they were back in the real world, that link, that comfort, was still there. They sought it now as they waited for news on their youngest, each one praying all the while that he would be ok.

CMCM

It was an hour and a half later that Dave returned to the hospital. Automatically, Derek moved to the chair beside the bench and Penelope scooted over, opening a seat between the two women for Dave to sit down. He lifted one arm, putting it around Emily as they’d done in the basement to sleep. With his other hand he reached out and rested it on Penelope’s knee. Only then did he speak. “Eric was taken into custody. He’s in interrogation right now with Agents Carlton and Yolanda. When they’re done, Yolanda is going to speak with Eli. They haven’t figured out if the Nathanial is an employee yet or not, but it’s still being looked into. As soon as they have information, they’ll contact us. Just in case, Agents are being sent over to act as guards until they’re sure we’re safe.”

“Carlton and Yolanda are good agents.” Aaron said agreeably. His eyes shifted over to look at Dave. “They’re capable of handling this.”

“I agree, which is why I’m here.” Sighing, Dave prepared to give them the bad news. “People went where Eli told them to. They found Marcus and Gideon. Both of them were shot, it looks like. According to Eli’s story, he and Marcus wrestled for the gun and it went off, more than once. He claims he fired the last shot right at Marcus to ‘finish’ him.”

Grief settled on them like a thick blanket. There were no words that any of them had for a moment like this. Unable to do anything, they once more lapsed into silence. Later, when they knew Spencer was safe, when things started to even out here, they would deal with this. Later, they would let themselves grieve. But now they had someone very much alive to focus on and pray for and that consumed all their energy.

Twenty three minutes passed before the door to the back opened and a doctor came walking out, clipboard in hand. His eyes moved directly toward their group and he strolled straight over. Instinctively, the five agents rose, waiting silently.

“Agent Hotchner?” The doctor asked. At Aaron’s nod, he stuck his hand out, offering it to him. “I’m Dr. Strom and I’m the one in charge of Dr. Reid’s care.” He and Aaron briefly shook hands and then the doctor jumped right into his report. “We’ve got Dr. Reid stabilized right now, let me say that first. When he came in he was delirious, mildly dehydrated and he was running a fever that was caused by the infection in some of the wounds in his back. We’ve cleaned those and started him on antibiotics to try and get the infection under control.”

Dr. Strom looked at the agents in front of him and could see that they weren’t the type to want things sugar coated. From what he understood on his patients situation, which had been explained to the nurse by the man that had brought him in, these people were most likely the ones that had been involved in this ‘situation’ with Dr. Reid. They deserved to know the full truth.

“The lashes on his back didn’t cause any internal damage, thankfully. Once we get the infection under control, they should heal well. There will be scarring, however.” He looked down at his clipboard, consulting what was there. “Dr. Reid has two bruised ribs and one that’s cracked. No bones look to be broken, thankfully. We’ll be watching him closely to make sure nothing like pneumonia settles in. All in all, whoever did this to him managed to keep from damaging him too seriously. But he is quite a collection of bruises, some of which are deeper than others. For those, all he needs is time to heal. Even the wounds on his abdomen look like they’ll only need time. Though, there’s no doubt they’ll scar.” Dr. Strom paused, grimacing.

“His abdomen?” Emily said in a soft voice.

The doctor looked up in surprise. Did they not know about this? He took a deep breath and tried to prepare himself. He absolutely hated this part of his job and this was definitely going to be one of the harder moments for him. “Your agent…someone carved into the skin on his abdomen. My guess, with a hunting knife.”

He watched as the two women gasped, Penelope turning to hide her face against Derek. The senior profilers closed their eyes and Derek clenched his jaw. “Someone carved on him?” Derek demanded hoarsely.

Now came the hardest part of all. “Yes, Agent. They…” he paused, fighting back his own anger at seeing a human being treated so. “They carved the word pride.”

This time there was no immediate reaction from the agents. It was as if they all froze at those words. Like the press of a button, they went completely still. Penelope was the first one to break free from the pain that had gripped her. “Oh, God.” She whispered, one hand coming up to cover her face. Dave turned slightly, one hand coming up so that his wrist pressed against his mouth as if battling back nausea. Emily’s face went hard and her eyes shone with her fury. Aaron clamped down tightly on his emotion and focused on the now to try and stop himself from simply breaking apart. “Can we see him?”

Dr. Strom nodded at them. “I think it would be a good idea.” He told the group. As if he could have said no after talking with them and witnessing exactly how important this man was to them. “We found leftover traces of Dilaudid in his system. In Dr. Reid’s records it states that he refuses narcotic pain medication.” Dr. Strom paused, looking to Aaron to see if the man would contradict this. That little notation had been difficult for the doctor to follow. When Aaron nodded, Dr. Strom sighed and continued on. “Well, we’ve got him on non-narcotic medication but, because of the amount we found in his system as well as the amount the man told us he was given over the past few days, he’s going to be in pain not only from injuries but from the detox tonight. Having familiar faces around him might help him make it through. It’s going to be a long night for him.”

“Is he awake?” Aaron asked.

“We had to sedate him to clean out the wounds on his back. He should be waking up any time now. If you all would like, I can escort you to his room.” No words were even needed to answer him. It was written on their faces. Dr. Strom nodded once more and gestured for them to follow him. As he started down the hall, he found himself praying that the young patient would pull through the night ok. He hadn’t been lying when he told the other agents that it was going to be a long night. With his body fighting an infection as well as detoxing and fighting pain, he would be put through the wringer this night. There were countless complications that could crop up and he was going to be closely watched by the staff all through the night, but Dr. Strom firmly believed that having a strong support system there could make all the difference in the world.

When he reached Spencer’s door, he paused. “I’ll let you all go in alone. If you need anything or if something happens, please, don’t hesitate to come speak with any of the nurses.” He gave them a smile then, hoping to reassure them. “Your friend is a strong one. His body is fighting. Just keep that in mind.” That said, he opened the door to let them in. As the group passed them, he could have sworn he heard the older man mumble “Just don’t let him hear you say that.”

The team hurried into the room, paying no more attention to the doctor once they were inside. They didn’t even notice that he had left them alone as he’d said he would. All of them were staring at the perfectly still figure lying so still in the hospital bed. They had all seen him only a day ago—had it only been a day? Less than, even. Less than a full twenty four hours he’d been left alone with Marcus—and yet his injuries struck them like they’d never seen them before.

His face was a motley of colors; over both eyes, his nose, and down his cheek even. His bottom lip looked like it had been split and was swollen. The bed was lying flat, keeping his body straight, and the blanket was pulled up to his waist. Above that, he was covered with a hospital gown. On his arms were only a few bruises. Most of the damage, they knew, was underneath the gown and blanket, hidden from view. There was an IV in his right hand, running up to the bags that were hanging off the rack beside his bed.

“Oh, Reid.” Penelope’s soft whisper was so full of heartache. She and Derek moved first, walking together right up to his bed. The usually bubbly tech analyst grabbed the nearest available chair and pulled it close, taking up station by his right hand. Derek surprised them all by not sitting by Penelope. Instead, he moved around the bed, taking the chair by Spencer’s other hand. Once he was sitting he reached up and took Spencer’s hand in his, holding it loosely. “We’re right here, pretty boy.” He whispered to his unconscious friend. “We’re here and we’re not leaving you alone. You’re safe now, kid.”

That seemed to be the release for the other three. They walked up to Spencer’s bed, each taking a chair, setting themselves up to watch Spencer sleep, listening to the sounds of the machines, keeping their eyes on the steady rise and fall of Spencer’s chest. They had their friend back home. Now, it was time to start to help him heal.


	14. Chapter 14

The first time Spencer woke, he barely mumbled at them, his lashes fluttering before drifting shut again. A nurse had been in the room at the time and she assured them that he was just gradually getting there. Then, with one last, reassuring smile, she walked out of the room and left them once more to their silent vigil. Another hour went past before Spencer showed signs of waking once more. His body shifted slightly on the bed, the hand in Derek’s giving a small twitch, alerting his friend. Derek lifted his head and looked up at Spencer’s face, watching as the young man’s face pinched slightly.

“Hey, kid. Come on now.” Derek said gently. His words drew the attention of the others in the room. All eyes went to Spencer’s face, watching as he drew up from his sleep with Derek’s gentle coaxing. “That’s it, pretty boy. Open those eyes up for me. Wake up, kid.”

Eyes still closed, Spencer licked his lips. “Morgan?” He croaked. The sound of his voice had the others wincing. He sounded hoarse. It was Emily who moved to the small sink in the room, getting a little paper cup of water and bringing it over to the bed. She hesitated, unsure of what to do since Spencer had yet to actually open his eyes. Derek gave her a one minute signal and turned his attention back to his little brother. “Yeah, kid, it’s me. You going to open those eyes up anytime soon? Prentiss has a cup of water here for you to drink.”

“What’s the point?” Spencer croaked out. His voice grew just a little stronger the more that he spoke. Still, his eyes stayed closed. “I don’t need to open my eyes to hallucinate.”

“Hallucinate?” Penelope said with a surprised chuckle. “Honey pie, you’re not hallucinating. You’re at the hospital and we’re all here with you. All of us.”

Derek didn’t bother arguing with him. He just grinned and stood up, one hand coming to take the cup from Emily. “Hallucination or not, I’ve got a cup of water here you’re going to drink. If I’m real, it’ll help. If I’m just a hallucination, then what harm is there in pretending to drink some water, huh? So open your eyes and mouth and drink, Reid.”

Humor curved Spencer’s lips just slightly. His eyes fluttered slightly, blinking against the light a few times before he finally managed to get them open. Derek didn’t give him time to start to talk. He brought one hand down to cup the back of Spencer’s head, helping tip his head up a little, and then he brought the cup to his lips and gently tipped it, giving Spencer small sips until the cup was gone. Once it was, he handed it to Penelope who tossed it into the garbage can near her. Then he gently laid Spencer’s head back down and took his hand once more. “There, kid. That should help your throat.” Derek told him. He couldn’t help flashing a smile down at him. Spencer was injured, detoxing, and fighting a nasty infection, but he was alive. In Derek’s books, that was reason enough to smile. “You still think we’re part of some delusion, or did you decide we’re real yet?”

“You’ve got to be real.” Spencer said in a voice that sounded a little better than before. “If I’m going to hallucinate you, I’d at least make you slightly less obnoxious.”

Laughter echoed around the room. Derek cried out “Hey, now!” but even he was grinning at him.

The mirth faded away when Spencer shifted and his face paled even as he slammed his eyes shut. His hands tightened convulsively on Derek and Penelope’s. Dropping his head back against his pillows, he obviously fought the pain that was filling him. Penelope stroked her hand over his arm, murmuring soothingly to him.

After a moment Spencer’s face started to relax. A slight sheen of sweat had built on his forehead. Dave took a step forward, a towel in his hand that he’d grabbed from one of the drawers in the room. He used it to gently blot the moisture from Spencer’s brow. When Spencer opened his eyes to look up at him, Dave gave him a grin. “Hey, kiddo.”

“Hey, Rossi.”

Something passed over Spencer’s face as they all watched him. Once more his eyes drifted shut. Whether it was from the lights, a headache, pain, or stress, they weren’t quite sure. But after a second, he spoke in a soft, almost hesitant voice. “If you’re all real, then…the rest of it was as well, wasn’t it?” He whispered. The words were almost pulled from him and so quiet they had to strain to hear him.  “Gideon coming and…and Eli…the gun…”

Dave wiped the last of the sweat from Spencer’s forehead as he quietly answered him. “I’m sorry, kiddo. We’ve got Eli in custody. He told us where to go. About an hour ago, Agents let us know they recovered the bodies.”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Spencer clamped his lips together. Emotion danced across his face, shifting from one to the next so fast they couldn’t keep up. It startled them all when his expression seemed to settle on hard. Staying perfectly still, he spoke in a soft voice, surprising them all with his words. “Get out.”

“What?” Emily said with surprise at the same time that Penelope said “Excuse me?”

Spencer’s eyes snapped open to glare at them all. “You heard me. Get out.”

“Reid, don’t do this.” Dave’s voice was gentle and yet firm at the same time. “We’re your friends. Let us help you. That’s all we want to do, kiddo.”

His words didn’t change a thing. “I don’t care!” Spencer shouted. “Get out! Get _out_! Now!”

While the others stared in shock, Derek exchanged a look with Aaron. This entire time their boss had been totally silent. The look he and Derek shared spoke more than words would have, though. Together they moved, shepherding the others towards the door. Derek had to almost lift Penelope from her chair. He wrapped an arm around her, forcing her to move toward the door. Still she looked back over her shoulder, hoping the young doctor would change his mind. But Spencer had already closed his eyes again now that he knew the others were leaving.

Once they were outside the room, Derek firmly shut the door. After it clicked shut, he looked up at the rest of the team. Three faces showed shock and hurt while one had a firm look of understanding and support. It was that look from his boss that helped Derek gather his composure enough to speak. “He’s not going to let you guys back in here. Not while he feels like this.”

“But we just want to help him!” Penelope exclaimed. Hurt was clear in her eyes and her voice.

“He doesn’t want that help, baby girl. He absolutely hates being weak in front of people and this shit is going to knock him down to his weakest. With everything that’s going on physically and now this with Gideon…” Derek had to pause to swallow his own grief. It may have been years and he may have been mad at the man for leaving the way he did, but that didn’t lessen the grief of losing a great man. “…he’s going to feel like shit. The last thing he’ll want is an audience for it.”

Dave ran a hand through his hair in a rare sign of exhaustion and frustration. “The last thing he needs is to be alone.” He countered.

Looking once more to Aaron, Derek said “He won’t be alone.” His eyes drifted back to the others. “I was there the last time he had to detox. I’ve done this before. His temper, all of it, it’s not going to scare me away. And he knows that I’ve seen him this way before so he’s more likely to accept my help. I don’t really give him much of a choice, anyways.” He turned his body toward the door, ear cocked for the sounds within. “I’m gonna go ahead and go back in with him, guys, before he locks down. I promise, I’ll call as soon as anything changes. The instant he agrees to let you guys come back, I’ll get a hold of you, I promise.”

Aaron looked over at him and gave a firm nod. “I’ll be in shortly.” He said, speaking for the first time since Spencer had woke. Derek didn’t even protest. He just nodded before opening the door and slipping back into the room. The door shut softly behind him. When it had, Aaron looked at the rest of his team, speaking before they had the chance. “Go back to the Bureau and put yourselves to work.” He advised them. “Reid may not want our help this way, but that doesn’t mean that there’s nothing we can do for him. If he won’t let you help this way, then help in the only way he’s left. Help in interrogation. Find Nathaniel.”

This time it was Aaron and Dave who exchanged looks. The senior profiler sighed but he nodded. “If there’s one thing I can understand, I guess it would be pride.” Dave said jokingly. “And right now, the kid probably feels that pride is all he has left. We can leave him with that much, at least. But you damn well better call us.”

“I will. And you keep me updated on the case.” Aaron said back. Raised voices from behind them had them all startling. Shaking his head, Aaron gave his team one of his rare smiles. “Come on, I’ll walk you to the front and get myself and Morgan come coffee. I think these two might need a moment alone.” He joked.

Together, the four of them set off down the hallway, leaving their two arguing friends behind them.

CMCM

Grief gripped Spencer like a vise around his heart. He bit at the inside of his lip, trying to keep it all inside, to keep himself from crying out underneath the weight of it all. Nothing had worked out the way that it should have! Every plan, everything he’d been hoping to do, all of it had gone to hell. It shouldn’t have ended like this. _Gideon wasn’t supposed to die. You were supposed to work with him and get out of there. Instead, you brought him to his death. You killed him_. Oh, God,

He was so lost in that grief, he didn’t hear the door to his room open once more and shut again or the footsteps as they crossed the room. But he felt it when a hand settled over his, gently prying his fingers from the bedspread. Instinct had him wanting to startle until he recognized the touch. Without opening his eyes, he told his best friend “I told you to leave.”

“And you’re an idiot if you thought I’d really do that.” Derek shot back. “I made the others leave, but I’m not going anywhere, Reid.”

“I don’t want you here!” Spencer made himself shout. The words were a lie—he wanted his ‘brother’ there with him. Someone, anyone, to help with this grief. “Get _out_ , Morgan!”

Derek just pulled on his hand, finally getting it open and off the sheet. He didn’t hesitate to wrap Spencer’s hand in both of his, holding him tightly so he couldn’t get away. “Shut up, Reid. I told you, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Doesn’t what I want matter? Can’t you understand that I _don’t want you here_?”

“I told you, shut up.” Derek snapped just as loudly. He didn’t balk away from Spencer’s rare show of temper. “Like hell I’m going to leave you alone here with this shit. You’re hurting, Reid. Inside and out. I’m not leaving my family alone in a hospital when they’re hurting! So you just better get used to the fact that I’m not going anywhere .You’re not getting rid of me, kid. As soon as you’re released from here, you’re coming home with me, just like I told you back in that hell hole. You’re not alone, Reid. We’re gonna handle this together, like a family does.”

There was only so much resistance left in Spencer. He found his resolve crumbling underneath Derek’s words. Really, why should he fight it when he wanted nothing more than for his friend to stay? He wanted, _needed_ , someone with him right now. Someone who he trusted and who he knew would be able to handle what was coming this night. Spencer could already feel the nastiness of the withdrawals pushing through his system.

As if sensing that he’d won, Derek’s expression gentled. He let go of Spencer with one hand so that he could bring that hand up and brush some of Spencer’s bangs back from his face. “I’m staying, pretty boy. Remember what I told you when you detoxed the last time?”

He did. Those words had stuck with him a long time. They meant more to him than many things other people had ever said to him. “This is what brothers are for.” Spencer whispered.

“That’s right. I’m not going anywhere.”

Spencer abandoned his pride right then, just as he had the first time Derek had said those words to him. His eyes filled with moisture and he worked hard to blink it back. “He wasn’t supposed to die, Morgan. I had a plan. We were going to get out of there together. He wasn’t supposed to die.”

“I know, kid.” Derek murmured. He continued to stroke Spencer’s bangs back, lightly running his fingers through his hair each time. With his other hand he let go of Spencer’s hand long enough to drop the side down on the bed. Then he took Spencer’s hand again, careful not to jostle the bandage around his wrist, and sat on the edge of the bed.

For that moment, Spencer anchored himself on Derek’s grip. The tears in his eyes burned, slowly leaking onto his cheeks despite his best efforts to force them back. “He was trying to shelter me.” Spencer whispered. “It…it’s kind of hazy now, but I remember that. He was sheltering me while Eli and Marcus wrestled for the gun. All he had was a knife, but he was going to protect me. I, I was cuffed to a pipe.” And oh, how he’d hated being so helpless. If he’d just been free, they could have run and Gideon would most likely still be alive!

Derek said nothing, only continued to stroke Spencer’s hair, letting him tell his story at his own pace. He knew his friend needed to get this out and any interruptions would most likely clam him right back up.

“I remember the shots going off and it hurt my head. When I opened my eyes, Eli was just standing there, holding the gun. Gideon…he was on the ground.” A sob tried to come up and was ruthlessly strangled. Forcing his eyes wide, Spencer stared up at the ceiling, welcoming the pain in his head from the lights. It kept him from seeing those images over and over. “It caught him right in the throat. That’s how it managed to go through him and not hit me. It went through his throat and into the wall right above my head. Just inches above my head. There was blood everywhere. God, Morgan. It was everywhere; all over me.”

This time Spencer couldn’t hold back his sob. It brought his pain to life but that seemed appropriate. He _should_ hurt for what had happened. Gideon was dead because of him. Tears blinded Spencer so that he couldn’t see as Derek shifted, but he felt his friend gathering him as close as possible in the hospital bed, still managing to keep hold of his hand. He didn’t speak, just held his little brother and let him cry out his grief. Spencer couldn’t keep it inside. He was too raw; too exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally. He had no defenses left. This had taken everything from him.

“He wasn’t supposed to die!” Spencer hiccupped. He gripped Derek’s hand with one hand and gripped at the bed with his other hand. “Eli and I had a plan. He was going to distract Marcus until night and then he was going to get us out of there. I couldn’t get away with not giving him Gideon and I needed him to help me out. I knew I wouldn’t be able to walk on my own! But he wasn’t supposed to die!”

“I know, kid. I know. He knew that, too. He was determined to help you, even knowing the risks. He didn’t go into it blindly, kid.”

“It’s not right!” His words choked off under the stream of his tears. He gave up speech, unable to get anymore more out and simply clung to Derek as the tears burned their way through, sob after sob ripping him apart. Even as it made his physical pain grow, he couldn’t stop it. The whole time he cried, Derek stayed with him, never once pulling back. Only when the tears finally stopped, when there was nothing left in him to let out, did Derek finally lay Spencer back down. He took a tissue and dried his face as casually as if it was a normal thing, taking the edge off of Spencer’s slight embarrassment. If Derek wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it, than neither was he. He sighed out a breath and tried to gather his wits about him.

As he lay there, a shiver ran down Spencer’s body. He bit his lip, trying to ride out the pain it brought. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been and for that he found he was grateful. That thought had his eyes drifting to his IV bags, though. Almost as if he heard the unspoken question, Derek told him “You’ve got fluids up there to replenish your body. You came in mildly dehydrated, they said. There’s also an antibiotic to fight the infection in your back. And there’s pain meds, but they’re non-narcotic, kid.”

Ah. Infection. That would explain the slight burning to his back as well as the heat from the fever he could feel in every inch of his skin. It was nowhere near as bad as it had been the last time he really remembered being awake; chained to a pipe, sweating and shivering, stretched out as Gideon—no! He cut that thought off. His free hand convulsively moved toward his stomach. The burn when he touched there told him that that hadn’t been a dream. It had really happened. “I want to see.” He told Derek hoarsely. Most likely Derek knew what had happened, even if he didn’t know the details to it.

One of the things that made it easy to have Derek around was that he knew Spencer well enough to know when it was absolutely futile to protest. This was one of those moments. He sighed and shifted his weight before he told him “Let me see if I can sit your bed up a little so you don’t have to bend.” Derek said. It only took him a moment before he found the button to raise the bed. After a second, Derek turned more toward Spencer. “Here, let me lift you a little and you press the button to bring the bed up. Then it’s not moving under you an you have control to stop when it hurts too much.”

As much as Spencer hated having to have that help, he knew it was the smart thing to do. So he nodded his head and let Derek’s arm slip behind him, bracing the back of his shoulders where there were no welts and lifting him just a bit. Derek’s other hand stayed linked with Spencer’s, giving him something to squeeze on as the pain flared to life. Then Spencer was pressing the button and lifting the back of the bed.

He had to stop twice to breathe through the ache and for them to readjust, but eventually they got the bed up to a 45 degree angle. There, they both agreed to stop.

Once Derek laid him back again, Spencer closed his eyes and worked to breathe through it all. His back was on fire, as was his stomach. The ache in his ribs had intensified and his head felt like it was made of glass. All in all, he felt horrible. The worst part was, he knew it would be worse if he didn’t have the pain medication in his system. That was the only thing that allowed him to gain control of the pain so quickly. It didn’t take away the itch that was slowly growing on his skin or the muscle and joint aches that seemed to grow worse and worse with each passing moment.  It didn’t take away the hypersensitivity on his skin, either. But it made things manageable. For now.

Spencer finally loosened his grip on Derek’s hand and let his eyes drift open again. “I want to see.” He repeated once more. Derek nodded at him. Without speaking, the other man reached to the blanket. Right as he was getting ready to move it down Spencer’s stomach so he could get to the gown, the door to the room open. To Spencer’s immense surprise, Aaron walked in.

His boss had no hesitation in his step as he made his way over to Spencer. When he reached his bedside, he braced his hands on the railing and looked down at him. “Before you ask or order, Reid, I’m going to tell you right up front that I’m not leaving.” Aaron told him bluntly. “The others are fully capable agents and are perfectly able to function without me to lead them for a night. And I know that you don’t want anyone here, most likely because you don’t want anyone to see how sick you’re going to be, but that’s not going to chase me away either.” A rare grin tipped up the corners of Aaron’s lips. “I’m a dad, Reid. There’s nothing that can happen to you tonight that I haven’t seen and most likely already cleaned up before at least once since Jack was born. I’m staying, Reid, and that’s final.”

For a long moment Spencer stared at his boss—his friend. He felt a reluctant smile at his lips; it was the first real smile he’d felt in a while. A smile of humor. “Are you done?” He asked Aaron with amusement.

Eyes sparkling suddenly, Aaron nodded. “For now. I reserve the right to continue at a later moment.”

Amazingly, Spencer felt the urge to chuckle. Instead, he let his smile grow just a little. “Then I’ll say welcome to the party, Hotch. You can’t say later I didn’t warn you.”

“What’re friends for, Reid?”

Those words so closely echoed Derek’s earlier ‘This is what brothers are for’ that it eased a small knot of tension in Spencer’s stomach. He nodded slightly. This was exactly what friends, what family, were for. To lean on when you needed and to give comfort when they could. He was blessed to have gained such a great family.


	15. Chapter 15

Spencer took a deep breath and tried to bring his emotions under control once more. He shifted his attention off of his boss and back toward Derek. “I still want to see.” He said softly. Aaron being in here didn’t change that. It made him slightly more uncomfortable, but it didn’t change this insatiable need to see what had been done to him. He had to know.

A nod from Derek told him that the other man had expected that. His hands went back to the blankets, shifting them down so they were at Spencer’s waist where they would provide a decent cover when they pulled the gown up. Aaron didn’t say a word, seemingly understanding what it was they were doing. Still silent, he reached out and helped Derek, shifting the gown out from under the blankets while managing to keep Spencer decently covered.

The two stopped before lifting the gown up. Derek looked up at Spencer, their eyes locking for a second. Deliberately Derek reached and linked their hands together again, his other hand still holding Spencer’s gown. It was a silent message letting him know that he was here for him. He wasn’t alone. Spencer appreciated it more than he could vocalize. With a soft nod, he let them know he was ready. The two pulled the gown up to Spencer’s chest. Then Aaron reached, pulling on the tape and unhooking one side of the wide bandage over Spencer’s stomach. The pull of the tape had Spencer wincing for a second, but his eyes never left his abdomen as that bandage was pulled off to the side.

The sight of his skin had Spencer’s stomach rolling. He stared down at the livid red marks and his whole body seemed to cringe inside. Those letters seemed to fill his whole vision. PRIDE. Shuddering, he tried to fight back the images; to fight away the remembered sensation of the knife in his skin.

“I goaded him into this.” Spencer said suddenly. He barely noticed how tightly he was gripping at Derek’s hand. He didn’t know that he had gone pale or that his eyes had widened; but his two friends watched his face, their hearts aching. “I stopped cowering before him and he was angry by it. He said ‘I thought we broke you of this attitude?’ and I told him ‘I’m going to die now. What do I have left to lose? I’ll die with my pride, at least.’ Pride.”

His one free hand lifted, trembling fingers going to rest near the edge of the letter P. Five letters in all capitals, forever carved into his skin. His voice went slightly distant as he spoke, one finger tracing over the tender flesh as he spoke. “He told me ‘Pride, hm? Do you have pride, Dr. Reid? Is that what you have? You have far too much pride.’” It was so easy to recall Marcus’s words. Would they ever leave him? “I was trying to be strong. I knew if I was strong, he’d keep me alive longer and I needed to stay alive till that night. So I taunted him. I asked him about the seven deadly sins and asked if I should name off the ones he was guilty of.”

Once more he could see that cold little smirk that Marcus wore. See the look in his eyes that spoke of enjoyment. He’d enjoyed what he’d caused.

“He’d grabbed a knife while talking. Then he just stood there, drawing it out, making it worse, taunting me right back. In a sense he was right, you know. ‘Pride is the reason you’re here, isn’t it? Pride was your downfall. It was what got my brother killed. It was what made it so easy to kidnap you and so easy to torture you. Pride has been your enemy this entire time.’ Then he told us ‘I think this is an appropriate way to start this, Agent Gideon. I want you to carve the word pride in Dr. Reid. That way, those that find his body will know the reason he died’ and he handed Gideon the knife.”

Derek’s hand tightened on his convulsively. “Jesus. Reid…”

“I made Gideon do it.” Spencer lifted his eyes to them suddenly. It was important that they understood this. He _needed_ them to understand. “He wasn’t going to. I told Marcus to let me do it, but he didn’t want to risk letting me get the knife. He told Gideon to do it or he’d shoot me and I knew he would. I knew he’d kill me and I knew I could take it, so I told him to do it.” Once more his eyes traveled back down. “And now…now I’ll never forget. I’ll always remember the price of pride. Gina Lindley says ‘People that put themselves above others will fall longer and harder.’”

“This is not your fault, Reid.” Aaron spoke up. His voice held a firm, serious edge to it. “We saw the old case files. We know what happened. You and Gideon made your reports and tried to get those children help. Pride didn’t keep you from helping them. You did what you could. It wasn’t your fault it wasn’t fast enough.”

Derek moved to cover Spencer’s stomach back up. He laid the bandage back down and pulled his gown down over him. He and Aaron tucked the gown back under the blanket. As they did this, Derek told him “You’re one of the most humble people I know, kid. And if there’s anyone I know that should have some pride in themselves, it would be you, yet you’re one of the people who has the least amount. Don’t do this to yourself, man. Don’t.”

Closing his eyes, Spencer laid there, exhaustion tugging at him. He didn’t argue with them. In his heart, he knew the truth. But he would never be able to convince his friends of that. The bible said ‘Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall’. Well, he had found his destruction. He had fallen. Now, as he lay in this hospital bed, his exhausted body drifting toward sleep, he had to figure out if he had the strength to get back up once more.

CMCM

Even having an idea of what was coming didn’t quite prepare them for the night they had. Spencer’s body felt as if it was turning against him. At first, the medications the doctors gave him allowed him to keep a semblance of control over himself. He still shivered, still ached, but it was manageable. But as the infection faded more and more, defeated by the antibiotics, it left room for the withdrawal symptoms to rise to the surface.

The sweats came, rolling in right alongside the shivering so that he was trembling from head to toe even as his body seemed feverish. He tried to keep still; to keep calm and not let the mood swings get the best of him. And oh, how his moods kept swinging. One instant he couldn’t seem to work his way past the grief in his heart. The next second he would find himself wanting to bite off his friend’s heads when they said something to him. Yet at the same time, he didn’t want them to leave. He wanted them to stay and help him. His emotions were all over the place.

When the stomach cramps started, Spencer tried to keep still, but the ache grew and grew, bringing the nausea with it. His hands moved toward his stomach without him thinking about it, resting overtop the bandage there. When he started to roll to the side, Derek and Aaron helped him, not bothering to protest the movement. “Cramping starting?” Aaron asked kindly.

Spencer couldn’t stop himself from practically snarling “No, I just like to curl into the fetal position and hold my stomach for a few laughs.”

“Bad attitude, too.” Derek snorted out. “We’re hitting it, now.” He stayed in his seat on the edge of the bed, stroking at Spencer’s hair again. “I talked to a nurse earlier, pretty boy. She said your detox should already be about halfway over if you haven’t had any since we left you. According to her, you didn’t have a whole lot, so your body won’t crash as hard as it did the last time we did this. By morning, you should be ok.”

“Fantastic.” Spencer snapped. He curled his knees up more toward his chest, ignoring the ache it caused. “That doesn’t exactly do me good at this moment, Morgan.”

“Naw. But it gives you something to hold on to. Look at the clock and count out the time till morning, Reid. Give yourself a number to focus on. You know that’ll help.”

It would. They both knew it would. The last time, that had been the only thing that had got Spencer through some of the rougher moments. Counting down the time, holding on to how far he’d come. He’d tell himself he could make it another minute, then another, then another. Then five. Until suddenly, he’d find he’d made it hours.

He shivered so hard it felt like his bones shook in him. But he lifted his head, focusing on the clock, putting the time into his mind and how many hours he had left until morning. He would time himself until eight a.m. That would give him… “Twelve hours, four minutes and thirty two seconds.”

“That’s right, kid. Focus on that.” Derek murmured to him. Looking down at Spencer, he saw the way he was squinting. Quickly he looked up at his boss. “Can you dim the lights for me, Hotch?”

Aaron nodded and hurried to do as he’d been asked. Once the lights were dim, he made his way to the bed once more. Just as he did, he saw a look on Spencer’s face that he’d seen often enough on Jack’s to know exactly what it meant. Aaron moved with all the speed of a father, snagging the wastebasket and bringing it up in just enough time for Spencer to grab it and heave.

As their young friend threw up, Derek held back his shaggy hair. He looked at Aaron over Spencer’s head and gave him a weak grin. “Nice reflexes, man.”

“You learn to react fast or you’ll end up scrubbing whatever gets hit.” Aaron said with a wry chuckle. His hand was on the back of Spencer’s neck, rubbing soothingly.

A nurse came in right as Spencer lay back on the bed. She didn’t hesitate to move to the sink and wet down a cloth, or to bring it over and wipe at his mouth. “There, sweetie.” She murmured.

Looking at his young friend, Aaron felt a pang for what he was having to go through. He felt no shame in asking the nurse “Isn’t there something you can give him to help him sleep through the night? Something to get him past the worst part of things?”

“I wish we could.” She said sympathetically. Taking the can from Derek, she set it over near the door before bringing them a basin from under the sink. She set that near Spencer, who wrapped his arms around it like it was his lifeline. “With the problems he has, the doctor doesn’t want to put him under because it would make him more difficult to monitor.”

Spencer swallowed before interjecting “They need me awake so they can accurately evaluate me, Hotch. They need to be able to check to make sure something is a withdrawal symptom, or if I’m potentially developing pneumonia from my experiences. Not to mention, I refused anything beyond the sedative they gave me earlier. I refused to take the risks that come with them sedating me for the night and I refused to have them taper me off the Dilaudid. I’m doing this my way and everyone can just deal with that.” His words were cut off by another round of vomiting.

The nurse winced sympathetically, but she seemed unfazed by his words. “I’ll be back in an hour to check on you all again. If there’s anything you need, just press the call button on the bed.” She said as she made her way to the door. Once there she stopped, turning to look at them. “Oh, and, if he’s up for it, we recommend allowing him up out of the bed to move. He’s free to go into the bathroom. So long as he’s careful, movement should help his body. Just make sure he doesn’t pull anything open.”

“Thank you, Ma’am.” Aaron said politely.

With one last smile, the nurse left the room, taking the soiled trashcan with her. Spencer lifted his head from the basin and scowled after her. “So glad I have her permission to use the restroom.” He said sarcastically.

“She’s only doing her job, Reid.” Aaron told him. Over Spencer’s head, Derek widened his eyes and shook his head, a silent warning for Aaron not to push this. Quickly Derek tried to distract his friend. “How much time, Reid?” he asked.

Spencer cut off whatever retort he’d had for Aaron. Looking at the clock, he instead said “Eleven hours, fifty six minutes and fifty one seconds.” And then he was back at the basin, retching the only thing that was in his stomach—water and stomach acid.

The next few hours were some of the longest that Aaron had ever experienced. They were bad for Derek and Spencer, but those two consoled themselves with the knowledge that they’d both been through worse. The last time Spencer had detoxed had been much worse than this. In comparison, these symptoms were mild. He hadn’t had as much of the drug or as regularly or for anywhere near as long as he had when he’d been using. That meant that there as less physical need and withdrawal. It was the mental that was difficult. The screaming in his mind that seemed to travel through every inch of him, aching to get just one last fix. He was in a hospital; it wouldn’t be hard to find.

Eight hours, seven minutes, two seconds. When the need got bad to go and hunt for some, Spencer had his friends help him to his feet and he tried to pace out the energy. For a while, it worked. But then he was in the bathroom, wrapped around the toilet as he threw up the little water they’d managed to get back in him. His whole body hurt. Not just his injuries, which protested to this moving and throwing up, but down in his joints as well and in his muscles. He’d known that would happen. One symptom was a flu-like sensation in the body. Aches, fever, occasionally coughing, vomiting. But, with the help of his friends, he was making it through.

Six hours, fifty five minutes, eighteen seconds, Spencer couldn’t stop shaking. He _craved_ , so badly. It was like an itch in his skin that he couldn’t’ quite scratch. Nothing he did made it go away. It was just there, nagging at him, driving him insane. He almost gave in at one point, trying to launch from the bed with a hoarse cry. But Derek and Aaron were there, stopping him. Aaron pinned his legs while Derek wrapped him in a bear hug and held him as tightly as he dared.

He’d cursed them both. He’d cried. Hell, he’d begged. But they hadn’t let him slip and they hadn’t left him alone. No, they stayed with him, all through the night.

When the pain got bad, unable to be held back by the painkillers, they soothed him as best they could and they wiped away his tears. When his temperature climbed and his body couldn’t stop sweating, they were there with cool clothes to wipe the seat away for him. When he threw up all over the bed, Derek helped him out and to the bathroom afterwards while Aaron called in a nurse. While the nurses took care of the bed, Aaron and Derek used the sink in the bathroom to help Spencer clean himself up. Then, once the bed was made, they helped him to walk back out there.

By the time he was down to three hours, two minutes, six seconds, Spencer’s body seemed to finally be calming. He was lying on his side, drifting in and out of sleep while a nurse checked under the bandage on his back. Aaron was sitting at the foot of the bed, rubbing soothingly on his leg through the blanket. Derek was still by his head. They’d laid the bed down flat once more so that Derek could sit at the top and Spencer could rest his head in his lap. It allowed Derek to soothingly stroke Spencer’s hair.

By the time the clock reached eight, Spencer was blinking himself awake, his body having almost been asleep. He looked up at the clock, though, and couldn’t help but smile. He still hurt, yes. The mental craving was still there as well. But the most serious part of the detox had passed and he had made it. Yet again, he had beaten back this monster.

With a soft sigh, Spencer drifted off to sleep. A real sleep this time, uninterrupted by fever or chills or anguish.

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It was later on that afternoon when Aaron Hotchner stepped out of the room to go and get some coffee and stretch his muscles. On his way to the cafeteria he put in a call to Dave, only getting his voicemail. He left a message to let the man know that they’d made it through the night fine and a visit late afternoon to early evening would most likely be fine.

But it was on his way back up to Spencer’s room that Aaron got a big surprise. He was rounding the corner by the nursing station when he saw the last person he’d expected to see. Surprise hit him and he froze, looking at the man by the desk. He took a step forward, drawing himself together as the man turned and saw him. “Sir.” Aaron greeted, looking at the face of the Deputy Director of the CIA; Lucius Richmont. Only a few times before had Aaron met the man, when the two agencies had worked together.

Lucius stuck a hand out, easily shaking Aaron’s. “Hello, Agent Hotchner.” He said with a smile. “And it’s not Sir here or anything like that. Here, I’m just Lucius.” When they let go, Lucius smiled at him. “I was just trying to make my way down to see Spencer. But I’d assume you’d be able to show me where to go to, correct?”

“Yes.” Aaron said slowly. He had no idea what to make of this. “His room’s right down this way. But I’m not sure if he’s feeling up for company right now.”

“Morgan called me earlier and asked me to come down this afternoon. He told me the situation and asked me to stop by this afternoon.”

That was enough to stun Aaron once more. He found himself gesturing down the hall again and leading Lucius toward Spencer’s room. When he reached it, he opened the door quietly, peeking inside. Spencer was awake, sitting on the edge of the bed with his legs hanging off the side and a blanket over his lap. Derek was beside him and a nurse was behind him. It was obvious the nurse was checking the wounds on his back.

Not willing to just let someone in, no matter who they were, Aaron leaned in enough to clear his throat and draw attention to him. “Reid.” He called out. When his young agent looked at him, he said “There’s someone here to see you. Lucius Richmont. Are you up for a visit?”

Surprise lit Spencer’s eyes just a second before gratitude covered his face. He nodded, chewing on his lip. Aaron opened the door and stepped in, holding the door open for Lucius to walk in. The man strode right inside, barely paying attention to anything but Spencer. He moved right to him. “Man, Spencer. You have got to have the absolute worst luck of anyone I know.”

Spencer blew out a breath and looked up at the man. “It would appear that way, wouldn’t it?” When Lucius offered him his hand, Spencer reached out and took it, grimacing slightly as it pulled on the marks on his back. “Luc, I messed up.” The young man admitted.

Discreetly Derek rose, murmuring something to Spencer. Then he moved across the room and to the door, signaling to Aaron that he should follow him. The two left the room, shutting it behind them right as they heard Lucius say “You can make it through this, Spencer. I know you can.”

Once the door was shut, Aaron crossed his arms and looked right at Derek. “Why did you call the Deputy Director of the CIA to come and see Reid?” he wasted no time in asking.

“Because Lucius is his sponsor.” Derek didn’t hesitate to answer. “And that’s exactly who Reid needs to see right now, Hotch.”

His sponsor? That had been the last answer that Aaron had been expecting. He looked back at the door before looking over at Derek once more, his eyebrow raised. Derek smiled at him and nodded. “Yeah, I know. Threw me the first time, too. But, he is. And, ah, it’s not exactly something they advertise. To the rest of the world, they’re just friends. That’s it.”

“I understand, Morgan.” Still, as they made their way to the waiting room, Aaron could only shake his head in surprise. It just went to show that even the higher ranking officials in their businesses were just as human as the rest of them. Sometimes it was a bit of a shock to be reminded of that.

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It was a full hour before Lucius left. By the time he did, Spencer had found even more peace inside of himself. It had been good to be able to talk to his sponsor. One person who, above all overs, would really understand his fear of relapse. The team could try to sympathize and they could help him to the best of their ability; yet, as they did, Spencer knew that they didn’t quite understand. How could they? None of them had ever dealt with the addiction. Even the doses he’d given them would have only made them a little unwell when they came off it. Dependence is not built off of one hit.

But Lucius knew the allure of drugs. He knew the allure of putting a needle in your vein and pushing that poison into your system. Whereas Spencer had used Dilaudid, Lucius had used heroin. Ten years now clean and sober for him and he always told Spencer that he fought every single day to keep that sobriety. “Being an addict isn’t something that you’re cured from. It’s a disease, Spencer. A lifelong disease. But, it’s one you _can_ learn to live with.”

And he was right. The addict in him would never go away. There would be days he would struggle; days where he wanted nothing more than to use. Then there would be times where he might go a whole day or even a couple without thinking about using at all. Still, no matter what, it would always be a part of him and that was something he’d had to come to terms with when he’d quit. It had been good to have Lucius here to remind him of that.

Shifting his weight, Spencer crossed his legs, leaning forward to rest his forearms on his knees. It pulled at his back and pinched his stomach a little, but after breathing for a moment, he was able to get past that. He looked down at his hands where he was fiddling with part of the blanket in his lap. Now that one monster was put to rest inside of him, at least for now, the other monster was rearing its ugly head. So many things had happened over the past few days. He’d lived through yet another kind of hell and somehow was still alive.

 _You’ve survived horrible situations before. This is just one more bump in the road. You’ll survive this just like you survived everything else._ This one was different, though. This time, he had really, honestly thought that he was going to die. When Tobias had taken him, he’d been scared. There was no denying that. Not to mention that he actually had died there for a short moment. But, the whole time he’d been there, he’d held on to the hope that the team wound find him. That someone would save him and he would be ok.

This time there had been none of that hope. The only thing he had hoped for had been to be able to save his friends. That had been the only goal he’d felt was realistic. Keep himself alive long enough to allow his friends to get out safely. Beyond that? He’d been almost positive that death was waiting for him. He’d been unable to see any way out. Oh, at the end he’d tried to plan. He’d gripped hope tightly to his chest and begged with all his heart to be able to live. But until that moment, he had been so sure he was already dead—his body just hadn’t caught up to that yet.

He looked at his hands and found himself sighing softly. _You may be alive, but is that really any better?_ His mind taunted him. _Look at you. You’re a mess! Your body is beyond simply scarred now. You’ll have that word forever on your stomach. Every time you look in a mirror, you’ll see it. And you know you’ll never talk to a plastic surgeon about covering up the scars. Oh, no, not you. You’ll carry this talisman with you so that you’ll always remember the price of pride._

Physically, he had left that basement. Mentally? Spencer wasn’t sure he ever would. A part of him would always be stuck down there, he feared. How could just a few days in a small room show a person both the highs and lows of their life? There, Spencer had seen exactly how weak he was. How strong that monster was inside of him when presented with its addiction. But he had also seen his own inner strength. He had held himself strong and sure underneath extreme stress and physical punishment. He’d taken beatings from his _friends_ and he harbored no ill will to them. He’d been whipped and had managed to keep from begging. There was more strength to him than he’d ever know. The question now was…did he still have that strength? Could he use it to survive now the same as he’d survived in the basement? Or had he used it all just to reach this point?

A knock on the door drew him out of his thoughts and back to the present moment. When he looked up, he watched the door open and the doctor come walking in. Spencer sifted through his brain until he found the man’s name. Dr. Strom.

“Hello, Spencer.” Dr. Strom said pleasantly. He was a nice enough fellow; very professional while still being kind. So far, Spencer liked him. “Hello, Dr. Strom.” He replied.

“The nurses tell me you’re starting to feel better.” As Dr. Strom spoke, he moved toward the machines, checking the monitors briefly. “Your vitals seem to be steady and the blood work we ran this morning shows that the infection is fading. We’ll keep you on antibiotics for the rest of today and tomorrow but, barring any further complications, I see no need why you can’t be released tomorrow night.” Pausing, Dr. Strom turned fully to face the bed. “Is there someone that’s going to be able to stay with you while you heal? There’s medicated cream we’re going to give you to put on the wounds on your back that you won’t be able to apply well on your own and your bruised and cracked ribs will make it difficult for you to bend to do much.”

Spencer couldn’t stop the wry smile from curving his lips. “That implies that I’d be going to my home.” He said jokingly. “My best friend is taking me home with him. I’m under orders to stay in his guest room until such time as he sees fit to allow me to return home.”

Humor lit Dr. Strom’s eyes. “Bless kind friends.” The two shared a smile before their conversation turned back to the practical things. “If you’re staying with a friend, I cannot stress enough that I want you to take it easy. Let him help you. Pride may tell you to do things on your own, even if it hurts. Ignore that feeling.” He made sure to give Spencer a stern look here, as if he knew that Spencer would do just that. Maybe someone had warned him, Spencer thought. The idea was almost amusing.

Dr. Strom put a notation on Spencer’s chart before sticking it back on the end of the bed. He gave Spencer one last smile. “Physically, you’re going to heal well from this, Dr. Reid. You’re young enough and your body is strong enough to make it through this.” That smile gentled, going just a little softer. “But I am putting in the recommendation that you talk to someone about what happened. No one can go through something like this and walk away mentally unscarred.”

Grimacing, Spencer nodded. “I assure you, I’ll see someone.” No matter how little he wanted to have to do it. “A psychiatric evaluation will be a requirement for my return to work.”

“Good. I believe you’ll need the help. You have a great group of people to help you as well, Dr. Reid. You’re blessed to be so loved by them. Accept their help over the next little while.” That said, Dr. Strom gave him one last smile and made his way toward the door. “They’re eagerly waiting to come in and see you. I’ll go let them know that I’m done.”

“Thank you, Dr. Strom.” Spencer called out to him.

The doctor paused in the door for just a second. “You’re welcome, Dr. Reid.” He said. Then he was gone.

Adjusting his bed, Spencer worked on trying to move himself while he waited for his friends. _The doctor definitely had one thing right_ he thought to himself. _It’s going to be difficult to move around for a while_. Each movement he made to try and adjust to the back of the bed had either his back, stomach, or ribs hurting. It was beyond frustrating to realize that simply unfolding his legs and trying to adjust a blanket over him was almost more bending than he was capable of.

He was still sitting up, slowly trying to bend forward to fix his blankets, when the door opened and the team walked in. Not just Aaron and Derek, but Emily, Dave and Penelope as well.

Spencer froze in mid bend, seeing the knowing looks they were giving him and trying to fight off his blush. With a roll of her eyes, Penelope went to the foot of the bed to take hold of the blanket and start to adjust it. “You are one of the most stubborn people I have ever met.” She scolded Spencer, giving him a stern look. The young profiler flushed again. That flush grew a little more when Aaron and Derek moved forward to either side of the bed, silently bracing his arms to help him adjust down against the back of the bed. The sting of pressing on his lash marks had his eyes slamming shut.

Hands slid into his, giving him something to hold on to; something to squeeze until the pain faded. Only when he opened his eyes again did he realize that it was Dave and Emily who were holding his hands. Spencer gave them a weak smile, partially embarrassed for this and partially grateful.

Once he was settled, everyone moved, making themselves comfortable. Derek took up his earlier position on the edge of Spencer’s bed; Aaron and Dave stood down by the foot while Emily and Penelope took the chairs on the side of the bed opposite of Derek.

Spencer looked at his team, his family, and thought to himself that the doctor had been right. He was blessed to be cared for by such a great group of people.

“So.” He said into the silence. “Catch me up. How are things going at the Bureau? What’s going to happen to Eli? Has anyone found our mole?”

“Breathe, Reid.” Emily interrupted him with a laugh.

Blushing, Spencer fell silent as Emily started the story, telling him what happened after her release from the basement. After she told her part, Aaron picked the story up, telling about their rescue and return to the BAU. Everyone chipped in a little there, telling him about working with Eric’s team, finding the basement, his message about the mole, doing their work to discover who it was, and about Nathaniel.

Dave was the one to take the story up now, telling them all as a group what had happened when he went to the BAU last night.

“Eric was officially arrested last night. After a few hours in interrogation, he gave a full confession. Apparently he was being blackmailed by Nathaniel and his family threatened. If he gets a good lawyer, they might be able to plea his charges down a little, but he’ll definitely be serving some time.” Dave told them. Then he grimaced. “There’s been no sign of Nathaniel, though.”

Aaron quickly spoke up before Spencer could have the chance to start to panic. “But you’re not to worry about that, Reid. We’ve got agents guarding the hospital to make sure that you’re safe.”

“And you’re still coming home with me once you’re released.” Derek added in. “So don’t worry about that, either. We’re not letting anything happen to you.”

Penelope gave the hand she was still holding a gentle squeeze. “You protected us before, Reid. Let us protect you now.”

Nodding, he tried to shift the topic off of Nathaniel; anything to distract himself from the idea that one of the brothers was still out there. Right now, he refused to think of that. He was safe here in the hospital, protected by agents and by his team. “What about Eli? What’s going to happen to him?”

“He’ll go to trial for this, Reid.” Emily said gently. “He’s written a full confession for them. He might get a better deal, seeing as how he cooperated with us when we took him in.”

“I want to help him.” Spencer said. His words didn’t surprise any of them. “In the end, he did the right thing. He was just a scared, sick kid being ruled by his sick brothers. It doesn’t make what he did right, but…he needs help. I want to see he really does get that help.” Talking of Eli brought him back to the one group of thoughts he didn’t want to have. He looked down at his shaking hands, hating the trembles that still ran through him from the left over sensations of his withdrawal, and quietly said “At home in my safe is a file. In there is Gideon’s paperwork. Information to contact his lawyer as well as the money he stocked away with me to take care of any expenses.”

His voice shook and he had to take a deep breath before he could continue. “He didn’t want a big service or anything of the like. He told me that he wants to simply be cremated and to have his ashes dumped at his old cabin. He expressly said he wanted no service.” A memory came to Spencer then, making him smile just slightly. “Gideon once said ‘No funeral gloom, my dears, when I am gone; corpse-gazings, tears, black raiment, graveyard grimness. Think of me as withdrawn into the dimness, yours still, you mine. Remember all the best of our past moments and forget the rest, and so to where I wait come gently on.’ It’s a short poem by Ellen Terry.”

Derek’s hand came up to brush back Spencer’s bangs. “I’ll get the stuff out of your safe. We’ll make sure his wishes are honored, pretty boy.”

A sort of gloom had settled over the room with his words. Seeking to dispel it, Spencer snorted and gestured at himself before joking. “That nickname doesn’t quite suit at the moment, Morgan.”

“I don’t know. Your face sure is some pretty colors. You’re like your own rainbow.” His friend taunted.

A glare settled over Spencer’s face as he tipped it up to look at Derek. “I am not!” he insisted.

“Morgan’s just jealous, Reid, don’t worry. He wishes he were that handsome.” Penelope interjected. And just like that, the teasing started amongst them, spreading from person to person.

As they all joked with one another, Spencer couldn’t help but sit back a little and just watch them, smiling all the while. These people were some of the greatest people he had ever had the pleasure of knowing and he was absolutely blessed to have them in his life. Without them, he had no idea where he would be in his life. He never would have made it through what he had if it hadn’t been for them.

Spencer knew he wasn’t the only one that was going to have to heal from this. His friends had been traumatized, too. In some ways, Spencer thought that maybe they’d had it worse than him. He had known what was going on. He had known what he’d done wrong and why he was suffering for it. But them…they had all been taken, not to injure them, but simply as pawns. Somehow, that made it worse. To know that you hadn’t been taken because of anything you’d done wrong, but because of something someone else had done wrong. Because of someone else’s pride.

There was a long road ahead of the group of them. This kidnapping had been a violation for them as well as a torture. Healing from it was not going to be easy. But as he looked at them all, he thought to himself that they’d make it, each and every one of them. How could they not with the help of each other? None of them were going to deal with this alone.

Penelope gave his hand another gentle squeeze and he looked over to her, sharing a smile. Their friends were talking now about going to Spencer’s apartment to grab the paperwork as well as some of his things so they could take them over to Derek’s. For the moment, he just let them talk, not bothering to add his input.

Yes, things were going to be hard for a while, but they would get better. The road was going to be long and hard, but Spencer swore in that moment that he would fight to make it. How could he not? With these people in his life, Spencer knew he could do anything.


	16. Chapter 16

*Two Months Later*

It had taken two months—two long, exhausting months—for Spencer to heal physically and to start to heal mentally. But finally the psychologist had declared that Spencer was fit for duty again and a doctor had said the agent could return to work so long as he was restricted in the field for the next month. That meant that he could travel with them, but he wasn’t allowed out of the police station, essentially. Spencer absolutely hated that, but he agreed to it. Anything, to put him back at work.

Two months had also passed with no sign of Nathaniel.

The man had vanished, almost as if he’d never existed to begin with. Though the team searched for him, they found nothing. No sign of him anywhere. That, above anything else, was what was the most difficult for them all. Peace might have been found if they could all know that the people responsible for this were put away. Eric’s trial had already come and gone; the man was serving time for what he’d been a part of.

As he’d wanted, Spencer spoke up at Eli’s trial. When Eli had been sentenced to a mental hospital to get the help he actually needed, Spencer had been happy with the result. As he told Derek one night, as they sat at the house discussing the trial that day, “In his heart, Eli is a good person. He’s just never been given a chance, Morgan. Look at his life. First his dad and everything he lived in there. Then, being under Marcus’s thumb, putting up with who knows what for years until they finally did this. And, in the end, he did the right thing. I’m glad he’s getting the right kind of help. It’s about time he was able to get free from his Dad’s basement.” He’d paused, looking down at his lap before whispering “We all need to be free from the basement.”

There were nights that Derek couldn’t help but think that Spencer was right. Even though they were no longer there physically—mentally, had they really left that basement? Though they didn’t happen every night, there were still nights that Derek woke sweating, a scream locked behind his teeth, images from his nightmare still playing in his mind. Sometimes it was simply memories of what had happened there. Other times he was chained to the wall, forced to watch as each member of the team was beaten in front of him. Other times he was the one forced to beat them all. The worst were the ones where he was forced to beat his best friend until he died. Those were the ones that would pull Derek up out of his bed and down the hall to where the guestroom was. He would slip into the room and make his way over to the bed to look down at a sleeping Spencer, needing to see that he was there, that he was still breathing.

It was the same for all of them. There were still times that this thing reared its ugly head and reminded them all exactly how human they were. It showed in the way that Penelope faltered slightly as she looked at the images of victims while trying to decide the next case for the team. It was there in the way that Aaron had seemed so hard on the first case that took them away from home, only a month and a half after the recent events. It showed in the way that Dave still joked, but he was slightly more serious, his eyes a little more watchful, always keeping an eye on the team. Or in the way that Emily and Derek made sure that they never were far apart when they were out in the field. It even showed in JJ, who stopped by to visit them all more than she ever had, bringing Henry with her to add a little sunshine into their lives and to remind them of the good that was around them.

For Derek, it really showed in that first moment that he went back to work. Thankfully, he went back only two weeks before Spencer. Unfortunately, it was in just enough time to travel on the first away case the team was forced to take. The idea of leaving Spencer behind had made Derek want to panic. That was noting in comparison to Spencer’s reaction.

When Derek had come home quickly to tell him that he had to leave—and bless Aaron for giving them enough time before leaving so that Derek could go home and tell Spencer face to face—it had gone worse than he’d thought. Typically Spencer still resisted the idea of needing help. He was better about it than he had used to be, but he was still resistant. There were times that Derek had to glare and remind Spencer that family helped family whether they liked it or not. Derek had thought that Spencer might get upset about this, or that he’d internalize it all and try to pretend it was ok. But Spencer’s reaction to this had been beyond anything Derek could have expected.

The young man had gone instantly pale. His face, finally free of bruising, had been so pale it had actually scared Derek. Then, without warning, Spencer had shot off the couch and down to his room. Derek found him just moments later in the bathroom, bent over the toilet as he heaved violently. His whole body had been trembling. Derek hadn’t hesitated to drop down beside him and hold his hair back. Once Spencer was done and they’d washed his mouth off, Derek had pulled him in close for a hug right there on the floor and Spencer had actually curled in to that embrace, sobs breaking through his usual shields. It had taken almost fifteen minutes of rocking and soothing murmurs before Spencer had finally calmed back down.

By then, Derek had been ready to call Aaron and tell him to go without him. There was no way in hell he was going to leave Spencer like that. No way! But a knock on the door had cut him off before he could pull out his phone. After making sure Spencer was ok cleaning his face in the bathroom, Derek had gone to answer the door and found JJ, Will and Henry on the other side, with Will carrying a couple go-bags.

JJ had walked right in, directing Will to set bags down. Then she’d put her hands on her hips and looked at Derek first, then over to where Spencer was slowly inching down the hall. “Rossi called and told me what’s going on.” She told them. “I grabbed out stuff and came right over. Right now, the last thing any of us need is to be alone. So, we’re staying here till you get home, Morgan. And no one,” Her gaze shifted toward Spencer once more “is going to argue this with me.”

To her surprise, Spencer had only smiled weakly, not even giving a token protest. Derek knew that Spencer would be safe and secure in JJ’s care, so he hadn’t bothered to protest either. Instead, he’d simply walked over and given Spencer one last hug, telling him “Why don’t you give them the guest room? You can take my room with Clooney until I get back.” And in that way, he was offering Spencer a little more comfort. The look his friend gave him said he understood.

Somehow, they all made it through that first case. It had been difficult on all partiers, but they’d made it and they all thought they were a little stronger for it. They’d proved they could do this. In working the case, the team had started to heal a little.

Now, as Spencer started his first day back at work, settling down at his desk, he thought that maybe he would finally start to heal a little as well. The mindless routine of paperwork soothed him with its monotony. Even finding that his friends had slipped him extra files didn’t bother him in the least. It felt good to be working again. It felt right. He lost himself in the paperwork, a tiny little smile curving his lips. It was good to be back.

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Over by the coffee pot, Emily finished adding sugar to her coffee cup. She took that first sip with a soft sigh. Paperwork days were always hard for her. Too much and she’d find herself drifting at her desk, rereading the same lines over and over. Without coffee, she’d never make it through the day. Smiling as she took another drink, she lifted her gaze toward the man beside her, only to find that Derek’s eyes were no longer on his coffee. Instead, he stood there, his eyes locked on a figure across the room.

Emily followed his gaze, watching as Spencer closed the last file on his desk, setting it into his ‘done’ pile. After a second of rearranging a few things, she watched him reach down for his messenger bag, pulling a file out of there and setting it on the desk in front of him. What was he doing?

“He never goes anywhere without that file.” Derek spoke suddenly in a soft voice. “That’s the file on Nathaniel. He had Penelope bring him everything she had. We thought it would give him something good to focus on as he heals. But…the kid’s not ever going to have peace until we find him. The bastard haunts him, you know?”

“I can imagine.” Emily said. Absently she shifted her weight, moving a little closer toward Derek .They all had little things that haunted them anymore. Things that had changed about themselves since the kidnapping. Spencer had been affected the worst, but he wasn’t the only one who had been changed by this experience. Emily tended to gravitate toward her friends a little more when they were in public. She didn’t often like to move alone. Aaron and Dave both watched the team even more so than before; wanting regular check in’s when they were out in the field. Derek had become a little more protective of them all, but especially of Spencer. He’d also taken to carrying his weapon with him when he took his dog out, now.

Stirring his coffee cup absently, Derek’s eyes never left his friend. “He still has nightmares. Not a night’s gone by since I brought him home that he hasn’t had one.”

Emily turned her eyes back toward Derek. “I thought he was doing better?”

“Part of him tries to pretend he’s ok and it mostly works, during the day. But at night…shit, Prentiss. He’s like a terrified kid. He’s so scared Nathaniel’s going to come and get him.”

“Are you sure he’s safe to be back at work?”

“Hotch knows how he’s doing and he’s keeping him from major field work. Any hotel we go to, he’s going to pair Reid with me so he’s not alone.” Still watching his friend, Derek shrugged. “He needs it, Prentiss. He needs to feel useful and to keep that brain of his busy. He doesn’t do well without something to do. It’s part of his intelligence; he has to keep that brain running. And he needs to do this, too. He needs to figure this out. Otherwise, I don’t think he’ll ever get peace.”

“We all need to.”

Quiet, the two made their way back to their desks. Neither one of them said a word as they set their cups down and settled in to their chairs. Before getting back to her own stack of files, Emily picked up one particular file, moving it to a safe place in her drawer. It was the one file that never fully left her desk. The same one that was on the desk of each member of the team, and on JJ’s desk in her home office. Until the day that Nathanial was arrested and locked away, that file would stay a part of them all.


End file.
